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I just had a thought about PI, and you guys are right. After exposure, where she going to go? If she doesn't want to reconcile, it's not like she's going to come back. She has a place to go: THE OM'S!! I predict she will stay there for a few more days/weeks as the affair crumbles and then hopefully she will come back to you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Also, I have no proof to post to somewhere like Cheaterville at this point. I simply have information on where she's been staying as well as this affectionate voicemail from him. I'll expose everything I can, but just wanted to point that out. I was hoping PI could get me photos or something. What you need to say in your exposure is that "my wife is having an affair with Joe Dirtbag and has moved into his apartment according to my tracking." Don't divulge your exact evidence. You just tell them she is having an affair and has moved in with him according to your evidence.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"And please stop shopping for opinions from people who have no earthly idea how to save marriages."
It's not quite like that. It's more like people around me not understanding why I'm doing this and urging me not to, or to do it in a certain way. Almost everyone on my side of the family, for example, does not want me to do this, they just want me to ditch WW. Not that they know anything about how to do this either, I'm just trying to explain the pressure I'm getting about exposure. I'm not soliciting opinions here, they're just reacting.
But you're right. Boldness is required and I'm getting started on this right now. It's not their marriage in the balance, it's mine.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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I understand your family being upset with WW and wanting you to ditch her and move on. But even if you choose to D, which you can choose to do at any time, exposure is still the right path.
This is a horrible crime being done to you and your marriage, if it results in the end of your marriage, why would you want to hide the reason why your marriage ended? Why would you want to live with that very life changing event in the shadows for the rest of your life? Why not expose it now and have a *chance* of making your marriage work?
Exposure is the answer regardless of where this leads, recovering your marriage or divorce.
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Stop talking about exposure, and just do it. You are shopping for advice by including everyone else in on your plan.
You have a GREAT exposure plan. But it is worth absolutely nothing if you sit idly by while your wife shacks up with another man, and don't follow through with it.
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I just had a thought about PI, and you guys are right. After exposure, where she going to go? If she doesn't want to reconcile, it's not like she's going to come back. She has a place to go: THE OM'S!! I predict she will stay there for a few more days/weeks as the affair crumbles and then hopefully she will come back to you. What I meant is she's not going to come back to my house or move into her own place which would complicate what the PI is doing. I'm on board with you guys, I'm going to get started today.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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It's not quite like that. It's more like people around me not understanding why I'm doing this and urging me not to, or to do it in a certain way. Almost everyone on my side of the family, for example, does not want me to do this, they just want me to ditch WW. That was the kind of reaction I got too from my family. However when I said: "why shouldn't people know? And "I won't cover up for him" they got it. Now they think it was the greatest idea in the world. They were as appreciative as I was by the support that came back for me. They couldn't believe it when some people supported the affair. See exposure is eye opening. Everybody thinks you can predict reactions - but you can't. Your family are going to be just as surprised - and grateful - for the very specific knowledge you will all gain about the people in your world as a result of this.
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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But you're right. Boldness is required and I'm getting started on this right now. It's not their marriage in the balance, it's mine. You nailed it right there!!! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Axslinger,
You are doing good, keep your finger on the trigger with the exposure.
One of the things I've heard Dr Harley talk about during his radio show. Exposure causes the affair either to end much sooner or if it does not end the affair allows you to decide to divorce much sooner.
In any event exposure causes conflict between the affair partners much sooner as well as it ends the fantasy stage of the affair.
God Bless
Gamma
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Just finished Facebook exposure. This is quite a rush, almost nerve wracking. But good.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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Just finished Facebook exposure. This is quite a rush, almost nerve wracking. But good. Keep up the good work, axslinger!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Just finished Facebook exposure. This is quite a rush, almost nerve wracking. But good. Good; now post OM on Cheaterville and if you have his phone number post him and his phone number on www.playerblock.com
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Just got the first blowback on any of it. WW texted me threatening me over having put comment's on OM's business's page about how he takes liberties with married women. Her comments were that "this is between you and me, that's it" and STILL calling him her "friend".
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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I told her I knew about everything. Her response "what the heck are you talking about?" Still thinks she's pulling this off!
Last edited by axslinger85; 10/06/14 08:35 PM.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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When a betrayed spouse exposes......the wayward gets scary nasty and threatens all sorts of things to try to control and stop the truth from being revealed.
Expect your WW to sound wickedly scary and to see a side you didn't know existed.
It is normal for that to happen.
Breathe.
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Just got the first blowback on any of it. WW texted me threatening me over having put comment's on OM's business's page about how he takes liberties with married women. Her comments were that "this is between you and me, that's it" and STILL calling him her "friend". I hope you stated facts so it was an effective exposure. Just the comment that he takes liberties with married women would be very ineffective. you did great!! Hopefully you finished up your exposures and have battened the hatches. Will her parents speak to her about her affair?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Your wife is going to go ballistic, but deep down in her pysche she knows you're fighting for her. She'll get over the anger.
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OM's FB page has been taken down. Not sure what that means but it's amusing.
Some sibling conflict in WW's family where one of the single siblings said my message about WW sounded like an attack, but one of WW's married sisters jumped in to my defense and sent me a separate message saying that she texted the other sib about how inappropriate her comments were. Sooooo good to be understood in this.
I've sent the voicemail to a handful of people in the family who have been asking for evidence. I wish I had more, but given the circumstances I don't see how people can see it any other way.
Very curious to see if WW will continue to try and hold up the denial to her family. Right now her cage has to be rattled, she still hasn't responded to my last text.
Last edited by axslinger85; 10/06/14 10:40 PM.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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"OM's FB page has been taken down. Not sure what that means but it's amusing."
It means the torpedo hit its target and the Love Boat is sinking.
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Did everything except confrontation, on which I'm waiting for WW and OM to surface. Not sure if I did FB right for OM. I can pull his account up on another computer and it's fine, it only doesn't work when I'm logged into my profile. I'm not getting an option for the $1 when I type in his relatives? This is hard, and it's not my fault, but my bro in law is so hurt by this he could hardly say anything to me. I called him to follow up because his FB response was troubling. I don't think he's mad at me, just very hurt because we're close. I hurt for him. One of the most awkward phone conversations I've ever had. 
Last edited by axslinger85; 10/06/14 11:51 PM.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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