I know this friend of hers and I never thought she would react this way. She was a mutual aquaintence of allnof ours, but I guess she has become close to OW (although she says she has zero allegiance). It is cruel and callous...and she blocked me so I couldn't reply even if I want to. The funny thing is that she didn't seem to read what I wrote her. Since she knows both parties, I encouraged her to ask both of them to end the hurtful behavior, not just ow. I hadn't realized that she had gotten so close to OW. Not even OWs sisters were so completely horrible. Anyway, enough focus on her cruelty. I am glad the exposure stage is done though. It takes a lot to lay everything out there and get these sorts is reactions, particularly after everything else that has gone on.

The most valuable part of exposure is finding out who the enemies are imo.

The people who reacted most viciously to exposure in my case were friends of all three of us.

They knew, didn't tell me, felt guilty. That's my guess. Obviously they have to be excluded from your life from now on.

For a person who claims to have no part in dealing with the affair
the responder sure gave it tons of thought and got riled up enough to craft a response in spite of originally not planning to.

Bullseye for you I say.

That is a good target you exposed to! Way to go.

Battling infidelity is not for the faint hearted. Fear is something you learn to face when doing so. Fear of nasty reactions and judgmental onslaughts.

(pat on the back from me for being brave in your facing the situation)

Yeah, her big issue is that I told a bunch of people. I'm not sure why she would are about that since she thinks I'm such an idiot. A couple of people who thought I shouldnt spread it so wide told me that..but not with any venom.

During exposure of an affair, there will always be people who either ignore your message, people who support you, and people like the one who reacted the way the OW's friend did. The best thing you can do is to drop it and ignore the ones who don't support you and your efforts to end the affair. It's nothing new, as hurtful as her nasty message was to you.

Exposure is the right thing to do, even when it makes some people uncomfortable or angry. You will find your supporters, and you will know now those who are "okay" with adultery.

Can I ask you...do the cheaterville things like totally ruin people's lives? It came up SOOOO quickly on google. That thing is never going away now. I do actually feel kind of bad about that, although I know I shouldn't because she willingly played a large part in the destruction of a family.

The only reason I feel bad is that I am a Christian and I believe that she can be redeemed too. In fact, I wish nothing for her but to leave us alone, to clean up her life, find God and to find what she is looking for elsewhere. I don't actually want her to suffer in eternal google hell.

Accountability is valuable in a marriage and in a society. If everyone lived as though one day their doings could be published, we would all live a bit more carefully, wouldn't we?

What the OW did is deeply destructive and everyone SHOULD know about it. She can still seek a redeemed life if she repents before God. Her life will not be forever ruined for having this TRUTH published about her.

Adultery is more destructive than burglary, rape, and even a house burning down. Those crimes are all published. Why not adultery?

My experience on here is that the bigger and more shocking the exposure the more quickly they get freed from the fog.

That is a kindness. Affairs are not fun and usually those in them are horribly depressed with dead eyes.

I lived next door to an affairage which lasted 20 years. He became an alcoholic and she was beaten up while they portrayed this perfect image to the world.

If someone had burst their perfection bubble in the early months, they would never have had to serve that sentence. They could have stayed in the marriages their sane selves wanted or found new, honourable partners.

Besides all of that it's pretty rich for her to bust up your family and not expect any comeback! All you've done is tell the truth.

The only reason the sites are disgusting is because the truths they tell happen to be.

Not many posts say "This woman was attracted to my husband but decided it was better to keep her distance with him and not pursue an inappropriate friendship with him".

If she burgled your house you wouldn't second guess it going into the newspaper and what she has done is more life wrecking than that.

Thanks for the reality check peeps! She posts everything online anyway...she has every social media account ever, and keeps them all up to date and public (until recently).

If I could have access to her instagram account I would hastag it: #sorrynotsorry.

I just have to remember what this woman has done to my life. ALWAYS REMEMBER. What she is getting is compassion from me by allowing her to make changes in her life.

You won't always remember. I hardly ever remember to remember OW.

When justice is dished out, you move on.

GOT OW's PHONE NUMBER!

Confrontational text:

Please stop contacting my husband for ever. And most assuredly, 100% never, ever come into contact with my daughter again. You have played a huge part in ruining my life and my little girl's life. You need to know and be accountable for the pain you have caused. Please face who you are.

And that folks is the sound of an affair falling apart for ever and ever.

On another note...Lawyer drafting letter to see if WH will informally let me move with daughter. Mom being physical IM. Exposure done. OW confrontation done.

I am doing this. Courage begets courage.

I know someone who had sex with a minor. The night he was arrested, his devastated wife heard the gospel and was saved. This was used for that man's salvation soon after.

Yes, for the rest of their life he is on the sex offender's list. Every one of their daughters' friends' parents should check the list before letting their daughters go anywhere (I know I do). Imagine my shock at finding this information about a solid Christian family.

When I placed a call to the mother about my daughter declining the overnight, I felt awful about explaining why (not her deed for her to be punished forever), but would have felt worse just keep saying no.

She explained what happened and said it is very hard to get these calls all the time. But, every time it provides an opportunity to tell how God forgives even the lowest, most wretched of sins.

That is a beautiful story, Sunnytimes.

So, now what?

I have exposed and he is pissed and am in Plan B. I am getting my lawyer to write him a letter informing him I'd like to move (we are trying to avoid a costly move away order at this point). My mom has moved in so he can't get around my no contact. My IM doesn't tell me about the craziness he is texting her (although at one point she said she was amused. That made me laugh).

Waiting game? We messed up our first serious reconciliation with anger. What can I do in the meantime to be able to Plan A better if this works out. Being in Plan B itself has dissipated my anger and stress (because my life is just more peaceful in general). Prayer has helped. Any other recommendations for putting MB principles into place? I need to work on creating space for honesty as well. I have been very hurt and angry about him falling in love with someone else. It makes me feel VERY devalued. But I know I need to create that space if we are going to save the marriage because he needs to have a safe place to tell the truth.

Noooooooo to the waiting game.

Once your Plan B is secure from harm it becomes Plan Piglet.

Think big. What do you want your life to look like? What makes you happy?

Think small. What are the little things you can't live without?
What colour are you going to wear on your toes?

Remember no need to PoJA you can do as you wish!

Thanks indie girl!

First order of business: find a mommy-toddler yoga class! Find just a mommy yoga class (since my mom can help take care of the toddler now). Kick bootie at work! =)