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I do know because we have discussed it many times since my DHs A that she does not like some of the things on MB (such as OS friends) so I know that if I sent her here she would rebel against it (that is what she is a rebel) and it would do no good so I need to find something that she can relate to or else nothing will stick because she is too stubborn and is ALWAYS right just ask her..... You will never get through to her with such disrespect. I have gotten through to her on many other things, you just have to let this one stir on things for a little while and then let her think they were her ideas and then we are fine, that is why I want something that she can relate to. More disrespect. You will never really get through to her if you disrespect her. It won't work. People do not respond to disrespect. This person does
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So far from what I have read in this book she will not relate because she cannot look into herself without someone shoving it in her face. More disrespect. With such disrespect, you would do best to leave her be. Maybe if you could figure out how to talk to her (and about her) as an adult instead of a child, you could say something. But right now, you would just be asking for trouble.
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No, she doesn't. If she did, you would have no problems with her because you have the disrespect down to an art.
Last edited by Prisca; 11/10/14 01:51 PM.
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I have dealt with this DD for 24 years now and she has been difficult practically her whole life, she took ALL the rebel genes from both me and my DH I suppose. I have not had any trouble out of the other two. What exactly is she rebelling against? You? You are no longer an authority over her. Calling her a rebel because she does not see things the way you do is disrespectful. Why should she listen to you? I call her a rebel because she deosn't see things the way most people do, not just her mother. She is her own person for sure but I have raised her and I know how to deal with her. She does not care what society thinks in general isn't that a rebel?
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[quote=Still_Crazy]I do know because we have discussed it many times since my DHs A that she does not like some of the things on MB (such as OS friends) so I know that if I sent her here she would rebel against it (that is what she is a rebel) and it would do no good so I need to find something that she can relate to or else nothing will stick because she is too stubborn and is ALWAYS right just ask her..... You will never get through to her with such disrespect. I have gotten through to her on many other things, you just have to let this one stir on things for a little while and then let her think they were her ideas and then we are fine, that is why I want something that she can relate to. More disrespect. You will never really get through to her if you disrespect her. It won't work. People do not respond to disrespect. Still Crazy, it must feel as if we are ganging up on you but we are not. We are seeing things that you cannot see because you are too close to the situation. Give us a recent example of how DD displays her selfishness and we will help walk you though this.
3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)
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So far from what I have read in this book she will not relate because she cannot look into herself without someone shoving it in her face. More disrespect. With such disrespect, you would do best to leave her be. Maybe if you could figure out how to talk to her (and about her) as an adult instead of a child, you could say something. But right now, you would just be asking for trouble. It may be disrespect in your eyes but I know my child and I do not consider it disrespect I consider it working with what you have
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I have dealt with this DD for 24 years now and she has been difficult practically her whole life, she took ALL the rebel genes from both me and my DH I suppose. I have not had any trouble out of the other two. What exactly is she rebelling against? You? You are no longer an authority over her. Calling her a rebel because she does not see things the way you do is disrespectful. Why should she listen to you? I call her a rebel because she deosn't see things the way most people do, not just her mother. She is her own person for sure but I have raised her and I know how to deal with her. She does not care what society thinks in general isn't that a rebel? No. That's a woman who is free to think what she wants to think, regardless of what society thinks. She is not a rebel simply because she believes differently. You are being disrespectful to her and treating her like a child.
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No, she doesn't. If she did, you would have no problems with her because you have the disrespect down to an art. So I disrespected her when she was 5 because as I said this one has been this way since I can remember.
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You will never really get through to her if you disrespect her. It won't work. People do not respond to disrespect. This person does Well you certainly aren't responding when we respectfully tell you that as long as you talk about your daughter this way you'll never make any headway. Should we make our point to you disrespectfully, instead? Will you respond to that, and quit being so disrespectful to and about your daughter, then? You are the problem - you expect her to respond to disrespect. She doesn't, she never will, and most people won't. Maybe you think you surpass the average person in that regard, but most people just aren't that way. As long as you keep addressing your daughter's problems disrespectfully, with no regard for her point of view, you will never be any help to her in resolving them. Nothing will ever change unless you change this.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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So far from what I have read in this book she will not relate because she cannot look into herself without someone shoving it in her face. More disrespect. With such disrespect, you would do best to leave her be. Maybe if you could figure out how to talk to her (and about her) as an adult instead of a child, you could say something. But right now, you would just be asking for trouble. It may be disrespect in your eyes but I know my child and I do not consider it disrespect I consider it working with what you have It doesn't matter if you consider it disrespect. Talking to and about your daughter as if she is a child is disrespect. She has no reason to listen to you.
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No, she doesn't. If she did, you would have no problems with her because you have the disrespect down to an art. So I disrespected her when she was 5 because as I said this one has been this way since I can remember. Do you not see a difference between a 5 year old child and a 24 year old woman?
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I have dealt with this DD for 24 years now and she has been difficult practically her whole life, she took ALL the rebel genes from both me and my DH I suppose. I have not had any trouble out of the other two. What exactly is she rebelling against? You? You are no longer an authority over her. Calling her a rebel because she does not see things the way you do is disrespectful. Why should she listen to you? I call her a rebel because she deosn't see things the way most people do, not just her mother. She is her own person for sure but I have raised her and I know how to deal with her. She does not care what society thinks in general isn't that a rebel? No. That's a woman who is free to think what she wants to think, regardless of what society thinks. She is not a rebel simply because she believes differently. You are being disrespectful to her and treating her like a child. I really do not care what you say about it I am not disrespecting her. Do you realize she has been fired from jobs for just saying what she thinks, she does not care. She will not take out her piercings or cover her tatoos to get certain jobs where she would make more money, that is stupid not someone being their own woman.
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We are trying to show you that you can never motivate an adult by treating them like a child.
What you are doing is not working, is it? You are not reaching her.
Maybe you feel that she should respond to disrespect, but she does not and she never will. If you are wanting something to change here, it will have to change with you.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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No, she doesn't. If she did, you would have no problems with her because you have the disrespect down to an art. So I disrespected her when she was 5 because as I said this one has been this way since I can remember. Do you not see a difference between a 5 year old child and a 24 year old woman? I do not, I have to treat her the same way that I did when she was 5 to get through to her. Everyone treats her like she is 5 to get through to her.
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I really do not care what you say about it I am not disrespecting her. Do you realize she has been fired from jobs for just saying what she thinks, she does not care. She will not take out her piercings or cover her tatoos to get certain jobs where she would make more money, that is stupid not someone being their own woman. And you will never reach her by being so disrespectful.
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We are trying to show you that you can never motivate an adult by treating them like a child.
What you are doing is not working, is it? You are not reaching her.
Maybe you feel that she should respond to disrespect, but she does not and she never will. If you are wanting something to change here, it will have to change with you. I haven't tried to reach her in some time because she did not live under my roof again until 7 months ago. And then had plans to leave, I am trying to teach her for her future, not now and I have not tried talking to her about anything since her and the exBF broke up.
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I do not, I have to treat her the same way that I did when she was 5 to get through to her. Everyone treats her like she is 5 to get through to her. That's pretty stupid, isn't it? To treat a 24 year old woman like a 5 year old? If I'm disrespectful to you about that, would you stop seeing it that way?
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I really do not care what you say about it I am not disrespecting her. Do you realize she has been fired from jobs for just saying what she thinks, she does not care. She will not take out her piercings or cover her tatoos to get certain jobs where she would make more money, that is stupid not someone being their own woman. And you will never reach her by being so disrespectful. That is your opinion.......
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If you cannot see the difference between a 5 year old and a 24 year old, you are not the one who can help her.
You need to leave your daughter alone.
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That is your opinion....... Aren't you here to get help, SC? Are you being receptive to help when you brush it off in this way?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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