Good, will be listening.

Well WW went and did the nuclear ending. spoke to a divorce lawyer wed. we disscussed using marital court to remove WW from residence. that if we do it will get ugly fast. WW said she planned to move out this weekend. Laywer suggested we wait to see if WW spouse would move out. friday i recived a text saying WW would like my help that she was only working till 430pm saturday and we could go thru and sort her stuff in the basement and toss out garbage ect. well saturday morning I mentioned a few details I knew about her affair. I can not seem to keep in this whole mess well enough. nothing got ugly. but i recived a text " Do you want to go to dinner tonight" well I have been trying to get bk to dinner's with WW&i for awhile now. I said ww & I could goto Black N white and then come n pack. well WW came home and basically began to ask how i knew what i knew was her car bugged was her phone bugged. "tell me i'm trying to fix our marrige if you cant tell me we can't fix us" ect. making demands tell me or no dinner ect. was ugly enough. I said i could stop as i knew enough and was done. that i would tell her how. well,... my friend called she is a Psycholigist i reach out to and went to High school with. she cant be my psyc as we had been involved in the past. either way she wanted to go see " hunger games Mocking Jay" ww smiled ear to ear ohhh you have a date. i smiled and we joked about the whole stiuation she open the shower and talked to me even laying out clothes for me. we joked about an open marrige which seemed to excite her this time. i went out and she went out. i know she was with OM. sunday i asked her if WW was moving out she said "NO, Dont worry about it" i went to breakfast with my Dad. came home saw her car at my mothers it was unlocked and her phone was there. so i entered a password she told me once to my surprise it unlocked to MC LOVER OM text all deleted prior to sunday. nothing really there to look at. but MC Lover was very upsetting I broght the phone in and showed her and asked if she could please move out today. well dumb me went home. she was suppsoed to go do what she had planned for the day i assume. WW came in the house and asked to look at my phone as i had a date with the friend i said i have nothing to hide and entered my password and handed her the phone. she looked at all the text the went over to the couch and looked for another 5 mins. then stood up called the OM and said i have his phone. she began to make me nervous she was going to format my whole phone or break it ect. i asked for it back she walked to the other side of the coffe table she was 2 ft away i grabbed my phone but she pulled it away to slow. i stood up asked for it back twice stepped towards her and she threw it at the wall behind me. I picked up the phone and battery couldnt find the cover she was yelling ur done ect i left the house. to call an officer i spoke with a few times so far. i was told she was busy and to wait for her at the police station. YES i was arrested WW claims i pulled her hair in front of our child. she has no marks and refused to be medically reviewed. restraint order is now only a no abuse order. WW said she didnt know i would be arrested and she wants to use writ of marrige to drop charges on our next apperance. these are serious charges. I am told i will only be stay away from my home for this week. monday she will change the address. totaly saw this coming tried to get her out peacfully for over a month now. I'm very worried im practically guilty untill proven inocent at this point. the writ of marrige is completly oh her i have to be more than accomidating for over a month and a half now.

I do not know your whole story but you need a lawyer who has experience with domestic violence charges. If your state is like most, WW can not just drop charges. These charges can also affect your employment...now and in the future if the slate is not wiped clean.

I don't even want to begin...
Why do you date other women and why are you joking with your wife about open marriages? You are just giving her excuses to keep dating OM.

You have thrown your strategic thinking overboard. Never - NEVER - tell about your information sources. Apart from that, it may be illegal in your state to put spyware on her phone or a VAR in her car. And as you have already noticed, she is not your ally.

Stop plan Clintonior and start applying MB materials to a T.

Yes. WW still asks what I do at all times like she needs to know what im doing. while she carries on an affir. i will agree she royaly stuck it to me i will have to get a laywer who's gonna cost more than 3Gs at this point. WW is totaly inconsiderate considering this year alone. wedding, honeymoon to DR, annivasry vacation to DR. cost of pre nup pay for her laywer in pre nup. now defend a DV charge. this one year is not worth the heartache or happines at this point.

Sorry to hear what you're going through. So were there any other instances of her being violent or is this the first, just because you said you were going out with another woman? Do you have any documentation?

How in the world does this fit into Plan A?

This is not Plan A, and goes against everything Dr. Harley recommends.

Are you interested in following the program here, or are you just winging it?

Since you have professed to having anger issues, I have a hard time believing you are as innocent as you portray. People who have angry outbursts very often do not remember the extent of what they said or did.

WHY were you arrested?

If you are innocent, start wearing a VAR around her so that you can prove your innocence.

In the meantime, what are you doing about your anger?

Are you going to do Plan A or not?

She could only "stick it on you" with your enthousiastic cooperation. Had you not lost your cool and followed the plan, this would not have come up.
Also, you will live a more relaxed life and prevent future problems if you get into an anger management program and get full controll of yourself.

Clint,

"YES i was arrested"

You were most likely arrested and charged with domestic violence and battery because your W perceived you as a threat. Nice going in your attempt for a Plan A! Now on top of your other woes you have court dates and possibly jail. Adultery is immoral, but not hard to understand why your W wants you out of her life.

Tom

when I stated my counslor was addressing anger issues its because the affair was making me mad and jelous and i was love busting buy addressing the affair and getting into angry text sessions with my wife at work like 3 months ago. yes she has been somewhat violent in the past. she had taken my keys when i was on the couch and thrown them in the woods and threated to call the cops that day. she has locked me out of the house two weekends ago when i tried to call a divorce laywer to see how i could get her to move out. and stay in my house its not legal in Mass to kick your wife out or anyone aparently if their personal belonging are inside the residence. i would have had to go thru marital court. which was an option but since WW stated she was moving out last weekend my lawyer suggested to wait and see if WW would make good and move out. instead she usually work 14hr on a saturday but she was out at 430pm instead of 1115 pm instaed of packing she wanted to go to dinner. for weeks I was trying to go into Plan B she even found the letter and has it. Plan A wasnt working I belive because she works nights and i work days. any time she had off she would run to OM. so no love deposits just mostly withdrawls were what took place. we had separted in the home 2 months ago she never lifted a finger and stacked stuff in every corner of the room. I kept the main house clean and comfortalbe. but she just went into the messy room anyways. WW basically showed ect. and left to OM. when i realized her schedule wasnt condusive to any real communication or resolve I decided i needed WW to move out which WW has said every weekend she would be leaving for about the last 6 weeks now. the incident is this WW was allowed to look at my phone Sat morning, after i saw her phone she had OM loaded into her contacts as {MC LOVER} i had told her that morning its clear you love another man you really need to move out. this is the first time i said to WW she should move out. instead of going on with her day she came down to the home. then asked to see my phone since i had gone out to a movie the night before. she looked for 5 mins found nothing of real interest then proceeded to sit on the couch and look for spy software i assume as she belived i was finding out about her affair thru her phone somehow. i wasnt i used VR and did not tell her about them. she was ready to through her phone away and stop paying for her car as she assumed they were bugged. this also my fault for not being able to keep my mouth shut about some details i knew about her meetings with OM EX. meeting OM mom and a fish smell comment he made that embarraresed WW. well then she got up and with my phone in her hand called the OM and said " i have his phone what do i look for?" this made me want my phone back i feared she would format it and delete all info so it could not spy on her phone. she moved just to the other side of the coffee table and i tried real quick to grab it no luck. i stood up and moved around coffe table she had hung up on OM then i asked demandingly for it back and she thru it at the wall behind me. i found my phone and battery and left the house i didnt not find the back cover. as i was leaving she called back the OM and i heard WW say "call the police" as i shut the door to leave.
the rest ended up being her saying i pulled her hair. OM, the WW tells me is a cop. { that makes 3 jobs very unlikley as OM works full time with WW and her employer offers mandatory overtime also work at a pizza shop} i know he was a campus cop and was fired for sex with students at the college while using his role as an officer to do so he has a degree in criminal justice. I have a recording the night before of them talking about another cop and what she should do ect. I Feel OM put WW up to this and told WW what to say and do.

found this info about false accusation. the last sentence i feel has to do with marrige builder principles "they may behave somewhat passively as they continue to naively hope that everything will magically work out in the end."

"What do we know about men who become the targets of false allegations of abuse?

They tend to be your average nice guy who has a more nurturing and passive personality. These men are unlikely to be socially aggressive or competitive and tend to lack insight into their personal relationships, which may explain why so many of these men are thrown for a loop when their ex throws them under the bus � even when she�s made threats throughout their marriage to call 911 and have him arrested (Wakefield & Underwager, 1990).

Additionally, these men, because of their sensitive and caring natures, may be more vulnerable to relationships with needy and manipulative women. Once in a relationship with a high-conflict (HCP) and/or abusive personality disordered woman (APDI), they may behave somewhat passively as they continue to naively hope that everything will magically work out in the end.

Please answer.

Again, not Plan A.
Are you going to do Plan A?

Yes Pricilla, WW when i aks WW anything about her personal life i get a reply like this for example yesterday i asked " did you go up to your new apartment and check it out when you were at your mom's{its upstairs at her parents house}" her reply " Dont worry about what i do....but yez"
well in contrast WW calls me or text me and asks where i am or what im doing almost daily.

I will say I feel MB is right. In that I likley need to stay faithful until her relashionship dies the natural death.

she has said she was prepared to stay with me the rest of her life until i went crazy meaning " exposeure and VR and accusing her of the affair"

NO Plan A is over. i was on DR Harley show last Wednesday. He's agree im in a forced Plan B as she did a restraint order but used my address for one week . im told today she goes into ammened it to her mothers address where she has an upstairs appartment.

then i will go dark. change the locks have my house cleaned completly and matain contact for our child only. she states she wishes to use her writ of marrige to suggest an attempt to drop her false charges i will have to oblige and make sure she does not get pissed before that time.

I see that he has said you should be in Plan B. That means that you can NOT have anymore exchanges with her like the one you had above.

He also talked a bit about your anger, and what a problem it is:


So, what are you doing about that?

Here's your show.
Radio Clip of clintonior's show

I went to the VA yesterday. we disscussed my mabye getting on anti depressants. however, dr seems to suggest i have a court case and my being on them may not help any judgment also he feels im strictly having a hard time with this situation only. and that they take two weeks before they really work. he addressed my not sleeping more than 2-3 hours and gave me a sleep aid. in hopes that real rest could improve my irratability.
see she also did not change the address on the restraint yet stating some bs about 51 A filed by the police for neglect during the alleged incident. WW stated she was told to leave it in place till DCF makes a finding. i told my CD lawyer and he called BS as they are unrelated incidents he also called the courthouse and found they had no record of her being in to make a change to any address. 15 more days is what she said. our whole relashionship 2 weeks is how she procrastinates almost everting she has done, i know getting back into my house may be a bigger issue now. WW stated to the officer who informend her she could stay in the home. WW said on no im moving out i need a week to do so that is her time line.

Prisca, yesterday you asked please answer why WW always asks what im doing. wouldnt mind your response to that aswell as todays reply.

See a different doctor.