How are you doing Gracie?

Doing OK, black raven.

Hope is now "on board" with the program. The inconsistency is trying but for now all is OK. He's been listening to MB radio each day and putting effort in..

I didn't realize the UA time was supposed to involve no relationship talk so that was an error on my part. I was spending a large part of it talking about my concerns about the relationship. I have stopped doing this (I need to continually remind myself to do this).

I'm not sure how to correctly air a complaint as Hope is incredibly sensitive to anything even *remotely* resembling criticism. It almost always leads to bad feelings after. If anyone has any advice on how to voice complaints, I'd appreciate it. My thought is to say something positive, then the complaint, then something positive again. Not sure how effective that will be as Hope usually doesn't take me seriously unless I seem upset about an issue. Any advice here would be appreciated.

I haven't posted in Harley's private forums but have been reading there. Good material and I'm learning a lot.

I'm just going with the flow for now. Things are gradually improving when I look realistically (without resentment, etc.) how things have been over the time Hope and I have been together. We are just in that weird spot where the relationship is not HORRIBLE but it's not GREAT either.

We are planning something fun for this weekend. To spend a day trying to enjoy each other if possible. That is something we haven't done in a long time. SF is also an issue. With all of Hope's AO's I have been completely uninterested in him that way. It's been months since we last had SF. I'm almost afraid to go there right now as Hope tends to get angry within a day or 2 of SF. I don't know if I am somehow contributing to this or not. There is also almost zero affection so I'm focusing on just non sexual touch for now.

If possible, order the 5 Steps to Romantic Love workbook. It has worksheets that you can keep track of lovebusters and complaints. Then you can go over them/swap them once a week.

To voice a complaint:
"Honey, it bothers me when......(fill in the blank.)
And keep it on the front burner.

If you would like him to do something that would meet one of your ENs,:
"Honey, how would you feel about...(fill in the blank.)
"Honey, I would really like it if you (kissed me every morning before we get out of bed/hug me when you come home/some other very specific behavior."
And keep it on the front burner.

The Five Steps workbook, as Ever2Late suggests, would be very helpful for identifying both love busters and behaviors you would each like to see.

But your husband would have to welcome your complaints and change his behavior accordingly. In a great marriage, complaints lead to change, but in a bad marriage, complaints are discouraged.

Have fun this weekend! You deserve it! Maybe holding hands this weekend would be a good start.