Exposure is like bringing a crowd of onlookers into the crackhouse to watch the crackheads get high. Sure, it infuriates them, but it RUINS the high. And once the high wears off, they are no longer angry about exposure.

I'm pretty sure that Melody's exposure thread does cover FB.

I had many people point out to me that when sending FB messages to people who are not your "friends" you must do it from a computer and pay $1 to send it or it will end up in their "other" mailbox and they will likely not see it.

I think the exposure 101 thread mentions that, but just in case.

my kids are 5 and 3, so no. Also my eldest is autistic.
I feel I am about to let loose the dogs of war!

I would add, my proof is EXTREME graphic messaging between them, very very personal/graphic and WW doesnt know I have it. its a months worth of chat logs. Not sure i want to put that on FB
She thinks I guessed...

Firstly, you don't just put it on FB with a post. You directly send Private Messages to Everyone on your exposure list.

You can refer to the chat log messages or put a select few in PM's as evidence and create a link to a different site that they can click on if they want to read the more descript horrid details.

A poster here named has been using such a site called Obin. You can check out his topic thread for better details, or someone else can post the exact link and instructions.

LTL

Bewildered,

I don't think you've made a lot of mistakes here, but Mel is right that arguing with her gets you nowhere.

Unlike a lot of betrayed spouses who encounter the harsh blow of infidelity, I can see that you are a man of action and you have guts, and you are willing to fight this head on. Good for you! Follow through on exposure. It's the single best weapon at your disposal for killing this insane affair. Be sure to ask those you expose to influence your WW and the other man to end the affair. It's a letter that seeks help to protect your marriage. And don't apologize to your wife for sharing the truth. Tell her you love her and you've exposed because you want to save the marriage. That's it. Say no more about it. Look at the templates Mel has in her links for writing the letter.

The letter that Mel suggested you write to your Wayward Wife (WW) is a good idea. If you'd like, I can help you with that. But let me get through Christmas first. Just let me know.

I could not tolerate my wife living in the house when she had her affair. That was beyond my tolerance threshold. So I don't blame you for asking her to leave. But you must suspend disrespectful judgments, angry outbursts, and lectures. You can't teach a wayward.

Finally, this is a marathon, not a race. Your wife is in the fog, and her body and mind have been kidnapped by aliens. It is going to take a long time for the person that is deep down inside her to come back. Just understand that her hurtful words and actions are coming from a person that has lost her mind. And buckle up, because you are in for a long fight.

Stay strong and post here for support.

You can save your marriage and have one that is better than ever. Many of us here have had marriages that have risen from the ashes because we followed the Marriage Builders program. You are in the right place.

Thanks, I sent a slightly altered copy of that message to my WW. After Christmas help with a letter would be great. I am mid way through FB messaging and my card company fraud dept started blocking payments due to number of them. ABout 20 to go so on phone with them

Ive sent WWs family on FB a message also. There arent many on Fb though

Thanks for the help. I have almost given up a few times, honestly, bbut I need to fight this

Brace yourself the fire breathing dragon. Sorry you have to go through this on Christmas Eve.

You ARE paying the $1 to put them in the targets inbox, right?

Did you expose to the OM's family and friends? Is that what you are doing?

I did pay the $1 yes. I did about 120 or so but mustve went to quick, can no longer do it. guess FB blocked me. Wasnt many left anyway

I sent messages to WW family on FB, but there was only about 4 people. One of which replied and was reluctant to help out of "respect" for my wife

I sent my wife a slightly altered version of the message you composed. So yeah, [censored] on xmas day?

A few replies from his friends

1: "2 sides to a story"
2: "none of my business"

lol, not encouraging

There's no guarantee it will reach them, but you can also send regular emails to username@facebook.com

Don't let this discourage you!!! Just the fact that these people KNOW will cause great conflict in the affair. You will get support from unexpected sources and you will also find out who the affair supporting crapwits are!

NOW, you can expect your wife to call you up and go ballistic on you. She will make threats, blah, blah, blah........ Do not let it rattle you!! just say, "so sorry you are upset, but I felt everyone should know." Don't argue, defend, deflect, reason. Just be polite and listen to her rant!

I can almost guarantee that your wife will claim that you are harassing her. It seems like the go to claim after exposure.

She will probably tell you that now that you've done this she can never trust you again and any chance of recovering your marriage has now been erased by your exposure. Don't sweat it. It's gonna be ugly. Think about what a crackhead does when you take away their crackpipe.(Don't tell her that)

I was informed to continually tell my wife "I am willing to work with you to create a loving marriage but, you must end your affair". I felt like a broken record but I said it an awful lot. You can't argue or reason with a wayward.

Yeah I just got a message saying I am dragging her name through to mud. That i ruined my kids christmas as they were decorating tree and now she is in a mess.

That she is being pushed towards making no contact.

I replied,

I am sorry you are angry, I just want us to work together and make a loving marriage, but i need you to end the affair first.

then not saying anything else!

Right, I need to wrap presents and then read that book i just bought. is it a cover to cover thing or recommended chapters? BTW the first section bout the 2 people, Sue and Greg, actually sounded kinda familiar!

Great job!

she responded saying that it's not healthy and i should go speak to someone.

Good job!!

Here's some more reading for you!!

"I Encourage BHs to Confront OM" Dr Harley

And "Don't Put up with the OM" Dr. Harley

Thats great!!

Can you CALL the OM's parents and speak to them?