Not sure how newsworthy this is but WW filed a second ex parte RO against me on 12/2, this one was also denied. Just got a call from the Sheriff's office and got the paperwork. Basically cites snooping and false accusations as reason for the order.

To me it seems like this will be taken LESS seriously than the last one, but do you guys think I should be concerned? My attorney said in our jurisdiction that an RO denied as an ex parte will not lead to an RO in the full hearing, so I shouldn't bother appearing.

I'm guessing she is trying to get an RO before filing for D so she can affect the outcome of D proceedings with it. Thoughts?

That would be my thought. What does your lawyer think?

Yeah, I worry much more about my WW and what will happen to her if she continues down the path she's on, throwing away her marriage and family over this POSOM and the fantasy of it all, than I do worry about myself.

It could be that, or she could be trying to anger you to get you to mess up with your Plan A. She may just be trying to get under your skin.

You are doing great Ax! I agree with the short marriage comment. Unfortunately for me, I have a little kid to think about even though our marriage has been short.

After reading her recent note to you, I'm surprised by the RO. I'm guessing the OM is a part of this again. She's lost.

Yes, I'm disappointed in her as well.

This is all about $$$ to her, and not a word of that email from her was honest. She'd even lie to me about having "forgiven" me if it meant signing the vehicle over so she could sell it, pocket the cash, and then go after the vehicles I didn't give her.

Very sad. It's impossible to know for sure, but either she knows she's disadvantaged in a D filing without the RO, or she and OM are floundering big time and he's convincing her that my assets are a low hanging fruit for their money problems.

I think OM wants to get your assets.

It would be interesting to know if that pattern (POSOM getting assets from BSes) is also something that has followed him aside from kids outside of marriage...

OK....so any legal eagles out there....looking over the RO paperwork and notice the first page says "Filed 12/2" with a scheduled hearing on 1/15...but behind the first page is the handwritten paperwork for the RO from October. What does this mean?

I'm wondering if they didn't ever have the follow-up hearing to the first one since they weren't able to serve me the papers. And maybe after 12/2 they gave up trying to serve me and scheduled the hearing? Confusing. I'm going to send it to my attorney tomorrow to check out.

Obviously if it's just an artifact from the first RO, that changes my take on her last email. Makes it quite a bit less dishonest.

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Thanks BH.

You're welcome.

Merry Christmas everybody!

Just dropped off some gifts and a card at the in laws house for WW. MIL/FIL had sent me some gifts in the mail also which was kind. Such a strange world to be in where I'm sitting here wondering if giving Christmas gifts to my own wife will make her angry or not. Not the gifts themselves, just the fact that I got her some rather than pretending we aren't married anymore like she would prefer.

Merry Christmas, ax! I know exactly what you mean.

Merry Christmas.

I know exactly how you feel. I will be attempting to slip presents for my WW and my step-son into WW's car when I drop off my son with her this evening. If she doesn't notice until she gets home I figure she is more likely to actually open them. We'll see I guess.

My Plan A did not include Christmas gifts. I could not stomach entitling my WW with gifts at Christmas. Her choices disgusted me and I was angry. Gifts would not have come from the heart. Others might disagree with that, but I just couldn't do it.

There were times I could, and I did. I just didn't do it all the time. I picked my spots. My wife knew I was angry, but she also knew that I still loved her because I did and said things to clearly indicate that the door was left open.

In the end, not fawning over her helped a lot, and now that we are recovered it still helps.

People respect those who set limits and who demonstrate healthy self-respect.

I hope you can forget your troubles for a couple of days and enjoy the celebration of the birth of our Lord. Joyeux no�l, Axe.

That's a really good point. In the past 2 weeks I have been trying to make it clear to my WW that my world doesn't not revolve around her. I think it helps but she seems convinced that everything revolves around her and anything that happens is only relevant in the way it affects her, "why are you punishing ME" and that kind of crap.

I got her presents because for most of my life I have never cared about holidays and not been very good at getting gifts for anybody. I have since learned that holidays are important because other people think they are, regardless of my "grinchy" feelings. I hope that she can see the change. Or not, either way it feels good to give gifts to my family, especially the kids.

Update on the RO from WW.

Just figured out I can look these up by case # on my state courts website. None of them show up if I search by my name, but I can get my wife's RO if I look by case #. OM's RO does not appear by case #.

The deal with WW's is that since I hadn't been served, the court was repeatedly stalling the "full" hearing on the RO. The ex parte had been denied, but the "full" hearing kept being rescheduled since I hadn't been served with the RO notice.

What's notable is that WW was personally showing up to these to plead her side of the case. I've got that on the docket notes. She's already gone to two attempted hearings. She's definitely invested in getting this pinned on me.

I spoke to my attorney today and he is concerned because while he thinks the ex parte was a long shot, he does not think an RO in a full hearing is a long shot.

According to him, it's a crapshoot in our jurisdiction that very much depends on the judge presiding over the case, and he's seen personally far more frivolous orders get granted. His example that he gave me was a man successfully getting an order against his ex-girlfriend's mother on the grounds that the man had "spotted her car outside his workplace" which was in a heavily frequented part of town. He defended the mother and apparently established that her vehicle was common enough that it was highly uncertain that it was even her car he saw, and the order was granted anyways.

I'm guessing OM's order doesn't show up because he didn't appear in court for the full hearing, or it was dismissed anyways and the state doesn't keep records on dismissed ROs. In my state, dismissal effectively kills the RO, whereas "denied" only applies to ex parte protection.

My attorney is quite concerned about this and seems to think filing for divorce is the answer as it will kick the can far down the road for the RO and may kill the incentive for my wife to even get the order.

I'm considering talking to another attorney as I'm not really wanting to file just yet and I've got to think there's someone in my area with a better handle on how to defend against these. I don't have this guy on retainer, we've just done a couple consults. I like him but that doesn't give me confidence and I'd rather not file for divorce yet.

What's interesting to me is that my wife's justifications for the order do not appear to fall into the scope of harassment by the state law, so I do wonder if I need to worry about this? I'm going to try to get some more opinions next week, as well as spend some more time talking to this guy about it.

What do you guys think? How big of a deal is an RO in my case where we're both already out of the marital home and there are no children involved?