DJ = Disrespectful judgements
AO = Angry outbursts

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3400_lovebust.html

Go to that page and you will learn about DJ's and AO's.

MelodyLane Jr is falling down on her job.

Well at least I thought that remark about BHurts was funny.

Lol

I have read SAA and some of the 'love busters' book. Apart from giver and taker description, I dont see what LB book gives that SAA doesn't. only about a 3rd through tho.

I just never recognised the acronym

I will be careful to rant at others and here and not to her. Today has been a hard day. She went to his families yesterday and ignored her family, then ofc stayed at his overnight. Just the knowledge of that hurts.

Still, holding back the LBs

Don't do anything that would get you into trouble. Did you read the thread I posted to you about confronting OM?

Didn't you say you bought the book Love Busters? Angry Outbursts and disrespectful judgements have their own chapters.

Here Abbreviations and Acronyms

I can't confront him as I have no means of making contact. He's blocked me on fb because I went through his contacts.

I don't have address or number.

The one time I did contact him I was shouting, swearing etc. It was about 2 days after dday and I was a wreck

Can you get his address? If you feel like you would hit him, it would be a good idea to take a big friend to help you control yourself.

asking his BS if she has address

Yeah, he wasn't home but spoke to bs in person.
I might go to doctors after all. Huge emotional outbursts today brought on by this but been building up over Christmas

I am/was friends with OMs brother in law. Went and spoke to him told him I was annoyed they had WW and OM over together at Christmas. It was condoning affair.

I later got a message from OMs sister saying it's time I accept I've lost my marriage. Followed by a message from WW saying I need to get myself together and not put others in awkward positions

I was then bit of a wreck at home for a few hours. The whole Christmas thing has really brought this home and made it hard

What Are Plan A and Plan B?

What did OM's BIL say?

I've read saa. I know plan Av means keeping a level head. I messed up but at least not in front of her.

Although it was probably still a lb

BIL said nothing I can do, just try and accept it. The more i try the more I push her away. He ofc then went and spoke to his wife. Who sent messages.

Btw he doesn't know his wife had affair a few years ago, I wouldn't tell him, but wonder if he would change his tune if he knew

How do you know he doesn't know? Why wouldn't you tell him? This poor man doesn't know the truth about his own life.

AGES ago before all this kicked off, my wife who was totally against cheaters told me in digust. Ironic?

I wouldn't tell him , especially, right now because it would be out of spite.

The OMS BS showed me where OM lived but he wasnt home. She also tried to tell me about something I haven't shared here yet. Not sure why.

I found out 3 weeks after DDday my wife was 4 weeks pregnant. She wasnt going to tell me, i found my snooping messages between her and OM, which included a pic of pregnancy test. I confronted her but said it was from her behaviour rather than snooping. She admitted it and said she had a checkup to date it for sure, I then got a call saying she had taken abortion pill. She had discussed it with OM and he had agreed he didnt want another child. I was like WTF, what if it was mine? But i will never know.

She said after 2nd pill someone needs to spend 24 hrs with her, i refused so she spent it with him. Doing that was before i found MB and i might have pushed her more to him

She a few times looked for sympathy for me, but i was greiving my family and now potential loss of baby, i never had any to give. Again, probably pushing her to him. Do you think I am now flogging a dead horse? I thought at time it might break fantasy but it might have just created bonds!

You're still very early in this. No more LB's or AO's. You're still in a position to Plan A for a while and leave a good impression before moving to Plan B.

The message she sent me after I spoke to OMs BIL was

"please stop acting so irrationally. You are putting people in impossible situations and making them feel awkward. This is between you and me only.Please just concentrate on the boys."

I found it funny that she brought my boys into it, as she didnt spend any time with boys over christmas and has now said she wont over new year either as they are my days. Its so she can go out and drink/party/spend time with OM.

I just replied with

"You are right, it was daft. I just got hit with a bit stress."


Will see doc on monday about anti depressants. Maybe ask about counselling too so I can rant at someone!

You should not have told her that! It was not daft.

Screwing another man while you're married with children is daft.
Pretending that infidelity and breaking sacred marriage vows is not a cause for alarm is daft.

People who don't honor marriage and commitment are rootless tumbleweeds whose opinions don't matter.

I was trying to avoid a LB! should have just said nothing then?

Bewildered,
Find out where the other man works. Confront him there. It will embarrass him and cause trouble he does not want. Also, a workplace environment will help to keep things from getting violent.

I like the idea of bringing a big friend, but not for him to keep you from punching the guys lights out (he deserves it), but because he will intimidate the other man.

I am not advocating violence. But I am advocating getting in this other man's head and making sure he knows that he picked the wrong guy to mess with.