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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,481 Likes: 6 |
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9 |
LearnedTooLate: Gaslit?
And thank you BrainHurts. I will read them.
The only good thing about being on the site is that I've met people I can talk to about everyday things that have nothing to do with sex. Our relationship didn't start with sex or have anything to do with sex. For me it's not about sex or fetishes. It's about friendships.
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391 |
Read this link. It will explain what I was referring to and what all of the other posters have recognized and posted about. LTL
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
LearnedTooLate: Gaslit?
And thank you BrainHurts. I will read them.
The only good thing about being on the site is that I've met people I can talk to about everyday things that have nothing to do with sex. Our relationship didn't start with sex or have anything to do with sex. For me it's not about sex or fetishes. It's about friendships. Stay away from people who are toxic to your marriage.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391
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Member
Joined: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,391 |
LearnedTooLate: Gaslit?
And thank you BrainHurts. I will read them.
The only good thing about being on the site is that I've met people I can talk to about everyday things that have nothing to do with sex. Our relationship didn't start with sex or have anything to do with sex. For me it's not about sex or fetishes. It's about friendships. Ask yourself..... Are those peoples habits and morals conducive to creating and protecting a monogamous marriage filled with a unified goal of romantic love being shared solely between the married couple? LTL
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9 |
I've read about Plans A and B. I am willing to see if Plan A will work, but if he's not willing to negotiate (which he will probably see it as me getting what I want) then Plan B is needed.
I also read about gaslight in and believe he is doing that. He's very careful and planning in what he does. He thinks over situations and plans for every outcome. I've wondered if the talk of suicide is a plot to get me to give into him.
LearnedTooLate, you're right about asking if they're conducive to the monogamous relationship. I've spoken with some from the site and they've all said it was best to leave and that divorce would be their recommendation as well.
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,156 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 1,156 Likes: 1 |
His talk of suicide probably is a plot, because people who are so severely depressed that they are contemplating taking their life, don't usually take the initiative to go to strip clubs to get lap dances and the like.
Please read up on the POJA and I can assure you that if he really loved you, he would not treat you like this. I would make a phone call to his first wife and girlfriends, because he could very well be lying about who committed the adultery.
You may have to cut your losses, because he sounds very manipulative. Don't feel guilty for not wanting to be slave to his dirty urges.
MD
happily married to and in love with DH
3 children out of the house, 2 more to go
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Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2015
Posts: 9 |
His talk of suicide came after the strip club. We went there Saturday night, and after being agry all day Sunday, he came to bed late Sunday night and that's when he was crying and talking of death.
I only know first names of past girlfriends and wouldn't know where to find his first wife or old girlfriends.
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