Lori, I had a weird thought pop in my head and I haven't even a glass of wine as an excuse. But thought was to bad we can't fast forward to find out the ending of all of our stories. It sure would make things easier and less painful. I told you it was weird. I am glad you can still talk to or at least find out about him. That still gives you a connection and helps with the hope. He sounds so confuse seems to me that he still can't figure out what the lies are because he has lied to himself so long. My only suggestion beside hang in there is to be as supportive as you can without putting in pressure on him. I think PT will supply plenty of pressure. {{{HUGS}}} <P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Hey Lotsva, I am keeping you in my thoughts. Seeing as though I am very new to all of this, I don't know your history yet. I will after writing this go and read your past postings. I just felt that after your response to me, I wanted to say that I am behind you too.<P>Take care of you....<BR>

Lostva,<P>I hope that you are feeling better today. I know first hand what you are going through. I know just what it means to have words spoken to you that seem to be for the sole purpose of dashing hope. My wife is the type of person that does not know how to apologize or even acknowledge wrongdoing and much of her motivation behind her words and actions may have been so I would lose hope. If I did that, she could pretend to be justified in her own actions. Maybe it applies , maybe it doesn't. I had thought that my situation was unique but it seems that we have more in common that I would have thought. Big hugs go out to you this evening and a prayer for you and your H.

Good Morning, Friends.<P>SDs - I'm outta wine and I really would like a glass this week! I think you're right. He doesn't know the truth from a lie anymore. About anything. Thanks for the hugs.<P>2S - I STILL am not crazy about that name!! Thanks for your good wishes. If you go back and read MY posts, you'll think I've lost my mind!!! Want you to know that I'm pulling for you guys, too. remember, no matter how hard it gets, don't you ever give up giving it your best. I'm counting on you two!<P>Stile -It's a yucky week, but I'm hanging on, I think. H doesn't mind acknowledging wrongdoing, he just wants to run away from it!!! But I do think you're right, like one of my friends here said, life would be sooooo much easier for him if he could make me angry and hate him.<P>"Sorry, Honey, you're stuck with my love, whether you can handle it or not!""<P>Boy that felt good! Thanks for your hugs and prayers.<P>Thanks again to everyone for getting me through - once again.<P>Lori

Hi Lostva -<P>You're probably long asleep by now but - being the night owl that I am I am going to leave this here for you to see in the am.....<P>How are you doing now....feeling better about things? <P>I have been thinking as to why H would tell MIL that he was talking to PT...probably cuz it fits more with his behavior with her than with you!!<P>His Mom would have called him out on that one!!!! <P>Did you hear anything more on her mystery stomach?<P>Just thinking of you ........<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Hi, Sheba. I SHOULD be asleep. But, I'm not. Oh, well. I think that's exactly why he lied. Too many questions to answer otherwise.<P>Got some things going on in my head these days. Trying to sort them out.<P>Thanks for everything.<P>Lori

Lori,<BR> Anything happen today? How are you? I had a thought. If we lined up 500 men and introduced them to both you and PT, inserted your D into their hearts and told them to choose JUST one of you. <P>499 of them would choose you (I included a deaf dumb and blind quadriplegic moron just to be fair <BR> She's a stupid controlling selfish little TART and you are a intelligent, Loving, caring woman with a beautiful soul. That just happens to be HIS WIFE and the mother of his D!! <BR> HE WILL WAKE UP!!! It's the low self-esteem and guilt that's the problem here. <BR> HANG IN THERE!! I think I'd prefer the "crawling" back you are surely going to see. I think that's the only way he WANTS to come back. <BR> Hugs & Prayers FRANK<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom is why!!"<P>

Hi Lori,<P>You wonderful wonderful thing. You took the time to respond to me, when you're going thru this. <BR>Please keep on keeping on, and know that there's hugs and good thoughts coming your way from "Down Under"<P>Jo

Hi Lostva -<P>I'm sorry .... I must have just gone to bed when you posted back last nite...I would have kept you company!!!<P>What's the thoughts....can I help?<P>C'mon ---Let me become one with your brain..Ohm...(in my best meditation like chanting voice!!!) LOL!!!<P>Here if you need someone!!! Or at email...by the way, I sent you two. Did you get them cuz my email is messed up.<P>HUGS, STRENGTH AND PRAYERS, <P>Sheba

Hi, guys. <P>Frank - I gotta put you right up there w/ MIL! You do make me laugh! Wanna know something. I believe he's already awake. I just KNOW that he knows there's no future w/ PT, he doesn't really love her, though he does care for her and wants to make things better for her, and he really does wish he'd never left me. That's why it's been a bad week, I guess. (Don't say "HUH?" - I'm gonna explain!) I don't think he can fight his pride. I really don't believe he's capable of it. I think he will, without a doubt, throw away all our futures, his included, rather than "look back". Some people are just like that. He's one of them. <P>Hi, Jo. How're you feeling? Thanks for saying that. I've been feeling really guilty for not having much to say to all my friends this week - kinda a selfish pity-party for myself. Always wanted to visit there! Thanks tons for the hugs and good thoughts.<P>Sheba -<P>Tried getting you to help, my friend, but your e-mail doesn't want to talk to my e-mail this week!! The only one I got was the one that said "Did you get my e-mail". BTW, the answer was "Nope"!<P>Now that I've read this all over again, I'll fill you in on the nothing that's gone on this week. First of all, H got his hands on some pages from my journal (MIL told me). Now, guys, I tell you most everything, but my journal is my deepest,darkest - know what I mean. So what I got in the mail was a copied page from my journal - with all the writing on it, "marriage" crossed out whenever I had written it, and several things hi-lited. Weirded me out. In our conversation, H said "Sounds like I did it, doesn't it?" If he did, he's cruel. If she did and he knows, he's still cruel.<P>Don't know about PT's tummy. Haven't talked w/ MIL in a few days. Still sending letters to PT's for H. Don't know if he's getting them or not. Haven't heard.<P>Something did happen to make me feel a little better. Didn't give me hope, just made me feel better. Old friend of H's called the other night. He had actually called a couple of times for him and D just took a message (bless her heart - she cannot make herself tell anyone he's gone!). This guy worked on H's FT job, worked side stuff w/ him on nights and weekends (yup, he's a workaholic) and helped him when he first started building his business - for several years. Came to the house a few times - including our Christmas party. All this up until a little less than a year ago. Anyway, once I got on the phone and started to tell him, well, I lost it. I've been crying all week anyway,but this was out of control sobbing. Told him he'd left, when, living w/ young girl, said he'd never loved me, our marriage was h@ll, etc. He just sat there for a minute - shocked. Then he exploded. "Bullsh**!! Lori, what the h kind of trouble is he in? I'm sorry, but for years I spent more time w/ that man than even you did. He worshipped you, he adored H. He cherished his family more than anyone I had ever met. Bragged constantly about how lucky he was. I know you guys. I know him. Something else is going on here that you're not telling me. What kind of trouble is he in??? Tell me the truth. Where did he meet this girl?" I told him she was on the cleaning crew at the jobsite. Bigger explosion. "What??? Now, Lori, I don't want you to feel bad, but I work with those people too. There may be an exception that I haven't met, but those girls are NOT the girls I'd even talk to, much less hang out with - and you know I'm not all that upstanding! H would NEVER find one of them attractive - hell, he'd probably be scared of them. No, there's something else here. You've GOT to tell me. What's he gotten himself into? What kind of hold does she have on him?" Told him I really didn't know. He says she's really sweet and poor and stupid and needs some help and he thought he had fallen in love with her. We won't even go INTO the next explosion.<P>Anyway, I gave him PT's number and told him I thought H could use a good friend right now. So he was gonna call him. Actually had a lead on a new job for him. Hope he takes it. This job has put him under a LOT of stress and leaving it might just help him get better. I guess the reason that it made me feel better was what he said about our marriage. They spent too much time together and were too close for H to have hidden unhappiness from him, ya know? I had started to doubt everything, believe the crap he was throwing around. Felt like such a miserable failure of a human being. I mean, that he would prefer someone he actually describes as stupid and not very attractive over me. I thought maybe I had been living in another marriage all these years and I was even more stupid. His family didn't believe we had a bad marriage, but they only saw us occasionally anyway,so, they may not have known. But this guy. He does know. He was with him 7 days a week. I'm not crazy, I don't guess. It wasn't a miserable situation. Somehow, that made me feel a little bit better.<P>Still sorting through some things. I'll get back to you on them when I feel like I can. <P>Thanks for everything.<P>Lori