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Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
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Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10 |
Thus they are safe for the women with low self-esteem...until they are released from prison, and their violent, sociopathic behaviour is unleashed, and the wife is forced to divorce them. I'll bet he did did something viciously violent and sadistic. You won't admit that to us, but you know it is true. He worked on you because he could sense that you were willing to look past his character disorder if you were being sweet-talked. He could see that you would be willing to settle for the lowest of the low.
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Ok, this is not feeling like an emotionally safe space, so I'm going to sign off. If someone does come along and has something to say that addresses my question in a respectful way, please send me a PM. One of the most important MB rules is that a couple should never be separated overnight. My sole personal experience with marriage while in prison was with a relative who served 8 years. His marriage did not survive the prison sentence. It is not possible to "freeze-dry" marriages. Even if you were in a great marriage before he went in, the odds would be stacked against you. There just isn't much hope for a situation like this.
me-65
wife-61
married for 40 years
DS - 38, autistic, lives at home
DD - 37, married and on her own
DS - 32, still living with us
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Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 6,108
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His case is personal information and I don't believe it is relevant to my question. I didn't ask "Should I marry this man?" or "Do you think this man is a good person?". I asked "How can we best cope with the difficulties in this situation?". 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Jun 2008
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And I'm sorry, comparing yourself to marriages separated by natural disaster, medical disability, etc? Strikes me as fantady-land. Romeo and Juliet were teenagers. x 2
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
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Posts: 11,650 |
Ok, this is not feeling like an emotionally safe space, so I'm going to sign off. If someone does come along and has something to say that addresses my question in a respectful way, please send me a PM. One of the most important MB rules is that a couple should never be separated overnight. My sole personal experience with marriage while in prison was with a relative who served 8 years. His marriage did not survive the prison sentence. It is not possible to "freeze-dry" marriages. Even if you were in a great marriage before he went in, the odds would be stacked against you. There just isn't much hope for a situation like this. We've all seen Dr H try to resolve this problem for the military - it isn't possible for people to have two priorities though - even for a cause like serving your country. In this case the biggest red flag is her sense that his crime is a private matter, when actually his crime was heard and punished in the public arena. Dr H says the biggest sign of an enabler is someone who covers up their partner's misdeeds and looks the other way when things aren't pretty. Of course he is unpleasant to her. He knows she will gloss over it all in the name of love. A love where there were no other women in competition! What need does he have to impress her?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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