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Originally Posted by Billman12
Thank you. I still have hope. My daughter confirmed that the OM is going to NY with my wife and my two daughters. And they went I his place last night for dinner. He sees them more than I do. I forwarded this to the lawyer also.

But again I do still have hope.

She is a horrible mother.
are they sleeping in motel rooms together with the kids?

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
She is a horrible mother.
are they sleeping in motel rooms together with the kids?

I don't know I was not given any more info at all. I sent an email last night with lawyer approval that stated my lack of agreement that our children were leaving the state (although no orders in place yet), and my dissatisfaction that our daughters were going to be with him during this long travel.

She sent a text back stating that she "understood my displeasure".

i documented everything and sent it to the lawyer.

She was not a horrible mother, but she is becoming one. I am terrified what can happen this next 3 days. A stranger to me driving over 1200 miles with my daughters. The lawyer said this will be a big no no on her part, and let her make the mistake.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Also. As the lawyer suggested. The reason I set a loan modification plan in place. My wife already stated her intent to not stay in our home. I told the lawyer I want to get back in and keep our children with me, since it would be stable and not a change of schools/friends. He asked can I afford it - I said I will have to since this is what I need to do to step up to the plate. He stated that if I can prove I can afford the home and with all my documentation I have a very good standing.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 278
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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
She is a horrible mother.
are they sleeping in motel rooms together with the kids?

My daughter confirmed. They slept in the same room, my girls in one bed and mommy and OM in the other.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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When is your attorney filing something? What is the timeline for a hearing or something? I dont understand the delay.

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She should get served this week. A court date will be scheduled with 21 days of filing.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 278
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Just got response from lawyer.

We�re finalizing drafts as we speak.� Should have something for you to review soon,



Thanks,


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
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Posts: 11,239
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Originally Posted by Billman12
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
She is a horrible mother.
are they sleeping in motel rooms together with the kids?

My daughter confirmed. They slept in the same room, my girls in one bed and mommy and OM in the other.

What a horrible role model for children.

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Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
Originally Posted by Billman12
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
She is a horrible mother.
are they sleeping in motel rooms together with the kids?

My daughter confirmed. They slept in the same room, my girls in one bed and mommy and OM in the other.

What a horrible role model for children.



Yes the way this BH does not stand up and fight when he has the best of the best on MB guiding him every step.

Instead of being a knight on a speeding charger to the rescue. He chooses to sit on top of a mule that will not move.

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Originally Posted by TheRoad
Yes the way this BH does not stand up and fight when he has the best of the best on MB guiding him every step.

Instead of being a knight on a speeding charger to the rescue. He chooses to sit on top of a mule that will not move.

Excellent advice. Miraculously the subliminal message you gave me with that negative I am a piece of [censored] response really tells me what I should have done in this situation. Perhaps While our children were visiting with me yesterday I should have prevented them from going home with mommy, so the police would have been involved. Maybe then my dreams will come true.

Maybe I failed to realize what advice I was given on how to handle this other than with a lawyer and court. I understand a tough love approach but that really felt like I as being told that I am and amazingly horrible person because I am on her e for guidance and advice and not the wisest when it comes to making decisions.

Much thanks.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
Joined: Nov 2014
Posts: 278
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Court is march 23 10 am - she will be served mid next week.

@ TheRoad

I am sorry if I was harsh in response. Don't be sarcastic. We talk to our children in ways we do not realize are harmful, and sometimes it takes a lesson learned hard to realize how we speak to them.

I am trying my hardest to do things right here, and the right way. There are so many ways I could have fought harder for them, but none of those ways would have shown responsibility. They might have shown determination and point, but would have been lacking in areas that would give me a firm standing.

If you believe I am not doing something, or doing something wrong, by all means, please say so. But with your post the way it is - I gained no insight at all.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
Joined: Sep 2014
Posts: 968
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Any update Billman?


Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders"
2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more.

When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29
Married: 7 years
Together: 8 years
D-day: 10/5/2014
D filed: 1/22/2015
D Final: 6/4/2015

My story
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Not really. She is still with OM. Joint custody. I have our children more than 50% because I work from home so I have them while she works. When I am nice to her she gets angry. We still only communicate via email. There has been 0 progress in terms of reconciliation. Not that I have not tried a little at a time. She is living in a shelter and got a new job since she was fired from Lowe's for unknown reasons. I still wear my ring, I still have hope, but I see no changes om the horizon.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Originally Posted by Billman12
Not really. She is still with OM. Joint custody. I have our children more than 50% because I work from home so I have them while she works. When I am nice to her she gets angry. We still only communicate via email. There has been 0 progress in terms of reconciliation. Not that I have not tried a little at a time. She is living in a shelter and got a new job since she was fired from Lowe's for unknown reasons. I still wear my ring, I still have hope, but I see no changes om the horizon.

How can she have 50% custody if she is homeless?
Contact your attorney and ask if you can get emergency full custody.
Drop the plan a and focus on getting full custody.

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The shelter allows children. Lawyer already to me that as long as they are not in danger,i will not be able to do anything.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
Joined: Jul 2014
Posts: 863
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Can you consult another lawyer? Your lawyer does not seem to be advocating for you as he/she should.


Remarried 7/16
Thanks MB!
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Originally Posted by Billman12
The shelter allows children. Lawyer already to me that as long as they are not in danger,i will not be able to do anything.

Do the children have separate bedrooms at the shelter?

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No it is a single room with multiple beds.


Me: 35
Her: 31
Together: 05/03/2002
Married: 10/14/2004
Children: D10,D8,S5
Bomb: 08/26/2014
Wife's Affair Ended 10/01/2015
Reconciliation, without commitment .... Yet
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
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Originally Posted by Billman12
No it is a single room with multiple beds.

That is not appropriate for housing children.
You need to contact your attorney and tell him she is homeless and you need emergency full custody.
Ask for a Guardian ad Litem (GAL) to be appointed to represent the children.

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Originally Posted by Billman12
The shelter allows children. Lawyer already to me that as long as they are not in danger,i will not be able to do anything.

In a custody evaluation, the GAL looks for items such as a job, stable housing, food, etc. Your wife has none of those.
You really need to get on the ball and get custody while you can.
Is she receiving any child support from you?

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