I'm glad to hear that.

The law enforcement officials who have been involved with me in my situation universally acted embarrassed to be doing what they were doing (serving RO filings or asking about the GPS on the car WW had).

Lots of "I'm sorry to bother you with this" and "sorry to take your time with this". The deputy who talked to me about the GPS flat out said "you had every right to do what you did".

Cops are good guys and they've got bigger fish to fry than this sort of nonsense. I think this sort of thing probably annoys them.

But I will say I am in a very conservative jurisdiction, so may not be the same in Cali.

Yeah, he said, "I get that you are understandably upset." Umm...yeah. A little.

Ok--my message to WH about insurance through IM:

PW and DD are obtaining insurance through Medi-Cal, so you may drop us. In lieu of coverage, feel free to support DD's activities and general maintenance.

He's trying to meet a FS need so as to be admitted contact again and co-parenting. It's common. I'd decline!




Wow, OW are such a bizarre breed of cat. The OW in my case also told me she was going to the cops. So hard not to say 'go ahead, those boys and girls need a good laugh from time to time'.

I will say it is bizarre to me that the cop thought it was his place to gas light you on the affair and comment about their level of contact. How could he possibly be certain of that? He's just repeating what OW told him!

The cop has no clue what is going on. In his mind this thing is dumb and he is just giving me a "warning" before she files an RO.

I think because I did my exposure in October, but she took down cheaterville in Jan and then I started putting a bunch of posting up--10 in all, She is saying its harassment (because its over a period of time). I got the feeling he knew that it didn't rise to the level of criminal harassment, but that he was being made to call by her attorney (in fact, he said that).

If it was, in fact, criminal harassment, I am pretty sure she would file an RO because they are cheap and judges give them out lke candy.

He also told me that she is trying to make amends...

Nothing says "I'm sorry" like getting the cops to call you and tell you that your right to post the truth on the internet is criminal behavior. It just warms my heart...

I'd just concentrate on you now sweetheart.

Crap.

I didn't qualify for medi-cal. Do I let this guy buy me insurance? I actually really need it.

I'm letting him buy it for now and will get dropped when I get a job. I need my epilepsy meds

Should I let my dd call him on her burner phone when she wants? She asks every now and then and I let her. I don't answer it if calls it at his non scheduled call times though.

Lots of plan b kids do that.

Ok, that's what I thought.

Now that I am in a vert dark plan b, WH is getting more desperate. I was trying to fix the camera yesterday on his Skype call with her (out of frame) and he told me it was rude I didn't talk to him. I didn't react or say anything. But generally he doesn't say anything to me during his calls to dd. He seems to be getting more desperate.

LTL posted something on another thread about waywards wanting acceptance. I can see it being true. Your husband blames you for the affair, and he wants you to accept the blame for his moral shortcomings so that he doesn't have to be a bad person. If he can get you to admit it was all your fault, he can sleep easier at night. He probably is getting more desperate because why should you be the one who's upset, right? If he can get back on speaking terms with you then it was all okay, because it all worked out in the end. That's what I think is going on.

Yeah, if I am "friends" with him, it's not so bad. But I will never accept this. We will never be friends. My friends don't treat me this way.

Its more 'rude' to cheat on your spouse. :-)

The deal is that waywards do not want to acknowledge that they exited the relationship in an unusual and immoral fashion. Any wayward you ever talk to only wants to trash the betrayed spouse as if they simply broke up with them for good reasons rather than having cheated on them. It's always talk about why they are divorcing the BS rather than why they are CHEATING on the BS.

Making the BS a friend helps them feel like the split was like a jointly filed divorce rather than one person betraying the other. It moves them one step closer to their goal of forgetting they are an adulterer.

I will never be friends with my xH. You said it perfectly in that friends don't treat each other that way.

WH is now pushing again for the post-nup. I am not sure why. At this point, it would be better to file for divorce, although I cannot until file for another month. The only reason I originally agreed to a post-nup was because I thought that was the only way he would let me leave.

It's a weird legal situation because I could sign it, hand him over some money from savings and basically be done with the property, but still be married. We would not be legally separated even. That would be fine, except that it might not hold up in court if I file for divorce soon after. Post-Nups are not supposed to be made in contemplation of divorce, so they get thrown out if they are.

Should my lawyer just straight up tell him that I want to file for divorce in March? If I do that he might try to go after more money or try to bring my kid back to alameda county (which I sort of doubt given that he let is leave). I think the post-nup bothers me because it basically let's him hold on to me with even less obligation.