I agree, look up a women's shelter on the internet and call them. Don't let anyone know. You can take a taxi to the women's shelter. Sneak out of the house and do it out of the mall if you must. This man will be your undoing.

You are strong. You know he has not changed. A man who cares about his family will make them feel safe by becoming a safe person by solving his psychological problems. That takes time.
This man wants his prize, but does not want to do the work for it. He is looking for a fast solution that suits HIM and only HIM. That is not change, that is putting on a temporary mask.

If you go to the shelter leave your smart phone at home, so that you will not be tempted. Please save your child from the insanity.

Please escape this place where he can catch you again to live under HIS conditions.

I would wish that your father would be a real father who protects his daughter from this bum. But if your father does not step up to the plate, you must be your own father. Please let us help you to have a better life. It will only get harder if you give in. The fairy tale will not materialize. He is already threatening you and you are not even under his power really. Imagine you will live with him and be dependant on him.

Please get out of the car at a gas station and call the police. Have you even talked to a lawyer?

Why did your father even let you go?

Nonsense -get your own legal advice! Call a shelter.

Next time someone is going to get killed. Have you thought how you will survive if it's your son!

You are a mother. You don't have the luxury of being weak.

Of course you want to be held and feel protected. But you like in the Harlow experiment, you are clinging to a mirage, an iron-wired image of a person with a thin mask of humanity.***EDIT***


What about:
1. asking to go to the toilet at the gas station
2. getting out of the car with your child and ask the man from the gas station to make an emergency call.
3. not getting in the car again.
4. call a women's shelter. http://www.womenshelters.org/

We totally get that he has exhausted you and that you want him to be what he promises to be. But you have to do the hard thing for the future of your child.

Indiegirl asked: How could you live if your child was killed?
I'm asking you: What will happen to your child if his mother is killed?
Indeed you don't have the luxury to be weak now.

You said form the beginning that he manipulates you with his anger and temper. How is that good for your son? Please start listening to the radio show, you'll hear what real mutual respect and care sound like.

Your son can have a new legacy, not angry to his wife and children because of what you and your ex have saddled with. If you had talked to the women's shelter they would help you find the rights that you and your son have. You ex was lying to you about his whole thing. Don't beat yourself up, the average is 6 times leaving an abusive relationship before the woman stays gone. But let the help you need from the woman's shelter and free consult with an attorney so you can give your son the protection he deserves from the lying, deceit, and manipulation. You are the only advocate he has

I am very disappointed to hear this.
We have spent a lot of time and effort supporting you and advising you.
You have received personal advice from the best counselor in the country.
But no one can force you to do what you know you need to do. That is a choice you are going to have to make. Only you can. You will have to find the strength within yourself to do it.

Or not. It's up to you.

You caved this time. But you are getting stronger. Do not let this failure trap you into thinking that you have to stay now. Every moment is a chance for you to make a better choice. Will you make that choice in time?

Plan carefully or you will be like my acquaintance in the last month who ended up gunshot because her husband attempted a murder/suicide. He was too angry to track down their child, so the child was not physically harmed but is so traumatised he/she is not speaking at all since the incident.
she will live. He is going to prison this time and the cycle is very likely broken for good. Hopefully the child will recover with the good help and she will make a better and safe life for herself and child, but it doesn't undo the trauma that could have been prevented if she had not gone back all the other times she left.


Is that what you want for yourself and your child?


Listen to all that has been said about contacting a women's shelter. They understand the patterns of behavior you are trapped in. They can help much better than your parents can help.

Leave again. Good examples of how to do that have been provided. Play it calm and sweet until you escape again, but do it NOW ....then get to a shelter, not to friends or family who have no real clue that this is classic abusive behavior of the kind that gets innocents killed. Friends and family can not give you good advice or support.

Remember that I told you to go to an address where he can not find you until you have talked to a lawyer? That is important. Do that the next time. The shelter will know how to make that happen.

In addition to what everyone has told you that you need to get out and get away from him.

Please tell us you're using protection. The last thing you need is to get pregnant again.

You know you do have choices and you choose not to exercise that right out of misplaced guilt and obligation. Is this how you plan to raise your boy? People can make him do stuff and he has no choice to control his own life decisions?

Remember this:



x 2

You choose to be a victim. I hope you leave your abusive boyfriend. Not only is he a horrible boyfriend, he is a horrible father to treat the mother of his child this way.

Has Dr Harley replied? What did he say? Are you going to follow his advice?

the papers are legit. They are in pending status and I played a voice mail of his that states they are awaiting my address for serving. I was able to view them online. My father was on a business trip. He wanted me to call the cops. I did everything my father told me not to do. I Knew I Would Be Vulnerable To My Emotions If I Was Alone With him. But he had my son. So I asked him to come get me. And now I find myself snowed-in half way between here and there. I had previously, stupidly, threatened him that I would get a lawyer and that all the professionals tell me not to give him my son. I almost can't blame him for doing what he had to do to ensure I would not keep his son from him. He claims to have returned to visit his son and to allow me the opportunity to bring our son back to him at my own will, because he doesn't want to hurt me. He didn't pressure me to be in a relationship with him at all, but he did ask me to. Nor did he pressure me to Leave with him nor to return Apollo to him until I was served. But I do feel like I have been taken advantage of during a moment of duress. And I do not believe it is right or loving to force me to move to him because it is in his best interest, not mine. He claims that he will move with me to my family when he is better prepared to do so. His behavior really is a lot different though, his mood swings are nonexistent, at least for now... when usually he is hot tempered throughout every day. He even kept his cool when I had lost it and was screaming at him. I don't know what I want. I can't believe that I am right back into this situation but I do not believe that he would ever harm anyone, especially his child or myself. That has never been part of his character. Even with all the other crap going on. Currently, I am stuck with him, snowed-in half way between my family and our home state. He is upset that I keep reaching out for outside help, he says it does not aid in a healthy relationship. But I told him that I needed to seek outside perspectives to understand my feelings better.

Please answer.

If you haven't been served, those papers are worthless. Pending doesn't mean squat. If anything is online all that means is something was filed with the county...and again it doesn't mean squat. It is obvious you have no idea what is legal and what isn't...and to be quite frank you don't seem to care so I will bow out of this thread.

Good luck to you.

You should not discuss with him about reaching for outside help, or splitting up. If you must, talk with him how wonderful it is to have an intact family. Go into stealth mode and be James Bond on a super secret mission, or rather McGiver.

What are your plans? Do you stay with him and hope for the best until he shows his true face? Or do you want out? Or are you still unsure?

If he does not know where you are, you cannot be served with anything and can have him served first.

He is controlling you and you need to get away, get your own legal advice.

Are you anywhere near the civilization or in the middle of nowhere?

If you stay with that loser, you're just as bad as he is, and your son is going to grow up as awful as his father. Is that what you want? He's no different, you're just being manipulated and you know it. This is the same crap he was pulling when you were gone. HE HAS NOT CHANGED.