You could ask him to move out and change the locks before even going into Plan B. This will give you some breathing room to make your preps.

Given you've been getting blatantly cheated on for months there's nothing stopping you from changing the locks next time he leaves the house. You could automatically respond to any calls or texts 'please give me some space to consider my next steps' without even bothering to read or listen to his messages.

Most waywards will jump at the chance for a bit of temporary space to cheat so he could even leave you alone for this part .

Then, choose your IM. It should not be a close relative and it does not have to be someone he knows or likes. It should be your ally and some one who can be very neutral and unemotional in dealings with him. Email only is preferable.


See a lawyer.Tell them you will be separated for a period of time and you expect your spouse to be financially irresponsible during that time. Ask for a plan on how to best protect yourself, such as a separation agreement or filing for a D (you don't have to finalise the D).

Separate your finances. Move funds from joint accounts and close joint credit cards.

Change your email and your phone number. Block social media. If you are not contactable, you now ready to send to your Plan B letter.

You can do the lawyer part after entering Plan B. Beforehand you need to move access to funds/cards and change numbers though.

HOH, I would start with exposing the affair. Then when he comes at you with rage, you can ask him to move out right away. I would focus on those 2 steps FIRST. Then we can help you with next steps.

Have you read my exposure thread? Can you make up a list of people and post it [not their name but their role] so we can give you feedback?

Ok so facebook is having issues this morning but i did manage to get a message to her husband or ex husband of whatever he is. Working on a letter to send her parents. Have an appt set up with an attorney but would appreciate guidance on what to advise the attorney.

I will see if my friend can access her friend list.

Did you read the exposure instructions on my exposure thread? Do you have a coordinated, comprehensive plan of attack? Exposure needs to be all done on the same day, so I would focus on doing a strategic exposure today.

I would worry about the attorney visit tomorrow and focus on exposure today.

Exposure needs to hit them like a tsunami instead of a little trickle. The reason is so that you can a) inflict the most damage in one fell swoop and b) so you have to only deal with his fury ONCE, instead of a million little times. It should be done quickly so you can get it out of the way and move onto next steps.

Ok I've already contacted my friend. She's going to help get her friends list for me. Apparently she has quite the list.

Good girl!! Did you read the exposure instructions on my exposure thread for Facebook exposures? When you get the list, you should prioritize by family, then married friends. You don't need to send PM's to every person.

DO YOU HAVE YOUR LETTER READY? Can you post it so we can give you feedback? Please use the templates on my exposure thread.

I would also plan on exposing to the HR department at her company. I would call the store and ask customer service who the "Market Manager" is for that district. Ask for his name, email address and cell phone #. Expose the affair to him and to their HR department. Additionally, you should report the affair here: https://walmartethics.com/ReportAConcern.aspx

It sounds like your H was once an employee at this company so they need to know that their manager is exploiting subordinates.

I will post in a few hours. I'm at work now. I don't have an appointment with the attorney until march 26. What happena of he leaves prior to that appointment?

I have some concerns about exposing to her workplace because the only proof I had was on a cell phone that my H has taken and locked. He told me that's when it started, but I don't have any hard evidence. Any thoughts? Could that blow up in my face? I could potentially use cell phone records but I don't know if that would hold up.

Just make sure you move any accessible funds or block use of joint cards. You can have your attorney appt later.



Where are you and did you keep this proof?

In the UK you have to have proof before you make statements, particularly when it affects a person's livelihood. The burden of proof would be on you.

However in the US, she would be in a defensive position and any suit would mean you could subpoeona her phone records. As far as I'm aware - I think Melody Lane is the expert there!

That would be great. If he leaves when you expose, that would be ideal. When he confronts you after your exposure, I would ask him to leave then. Tell him his affair is too painful to endure and ask him to leave now. Go pack his bags.

His confession is evidence. They can investigate and pull her emails. You just say that OW has been having an affair with my husband since around XX-XXXX. My husband has admitted this affair and it continues to this day. The OW is supposedly divorcing her husband due to this affair that began in the workplace.

See if you can find out TODAY if she is really getting divorced. I would keep on until you contact the OW's husband.

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