Will your friend register here and post for advice?

How was the exposure to Family, Friends and the Other Womans Family and Friends handled?

Is your friend showing true remorse and willing to do anything and everything to redeem himself for an opportunity to have a slight chance at saving his marriage?

Or, is he moping around declaring what a worthless POS he is and having a Pity Party for himself?

How long did his contact with the OW go on for?

Has he completely broken off ALL contact with the OW?

Was a No Contact letter sent that his Betrayed Wife read and approved?

Seriously, probably the BEST thing that you could do for your Friend AND His Family, is to encourage his Betrayed Wife to register and post here.

Then, she can determine herself if there is a marriage worth attempting to save.

For the sake of the 3 innocent children, I sincerely hope there is.

LTL

I think that is wonderful that you are helping an adulterer get favorable divorce terms in the marriage that he wrecked. Why not help his victims? Are you concerned that his wife and children come out well in the divorce?

Why?

Not only is it unlikely an objective court would, but it's a bit rich for anyone to expect an affair won't affect their access to the children.

You can't have an affair and expect to tuck your kids in at night.

Apparently, this wayward husband is only concerned about getting favorable terms in a divorce action....

I don't have answers to those questions. We aren't that close so, I guess he hasn't told me the entire story and, I haven't talked to his wife about it so, I'm in the dark as far as her side is concerned.

Hmm. The 'crazy wife is probably having an affair now'....sounds familiar.

The point should also be made that waywards are horrible parents, so limited visitation is a blessing to the children. I can't count the times over the years that children have refused to even see the wayward parent. I remember one selfish WH who called the police when his teenage daughters REFUSED to get in the car. The police basically told him to take a hike.

Not to mention the chances of them seeing inappropriate stuff/meeting OW...

Yuk.

Please encourage this guy to think about his wife and children instead of his own selfish interests. Being selfish is what brought him to this terrible place.

Don't help the bad guy.

So, what should he do at this point? Just stay at his parents' house and wait to get served?

It's also pretty likely that he's keeping an eye on his betrayed wife to make sure she is staying on his backburner for him. Waywards always expect revenge affairs.

Given that she's exposed to family that's unlikely. I'm sure she's getting the support she needs while she excludes this cheater from her life.

Yes. And try to make it up to his wife and kids. Not through bully tactics, but by being thoughtful and considerate....for a change.

Is his offering his BW a no contact letter an option or is he solely concerned with screwing her over more in the D?

Many of us have spent thousands fighting off an unrepentant wayward so I don't think free legal advice for the cheater will be stampeding your way.

He could also offer in writing not to have OW members of the opposite sex around the kids.

Something like that goes a long way with mothers.

Yeah, I guess my judgment in this situation has a limited scope since I don't really know her side of the story or the extent of his unfaithfulness and repentance. I was acting out of my own sensitivity to being steamrolled by my WxW in the custody arena.

I understand completely. The difference is that he wrecked his marriage and deserves what he gets. You didn't do that!

X2

You are the more responsible parents

Why don't you reach out to her and get the whole story?

IMO, it's not wise or safe for a man to be contacting a recently BW.

Do you have any mutual friends with her so that a female could reach out to her?

LTL

Not really. I just know her husband who, like I said, is a friend/coworker. It looks like she's going to hold him accountable for his behavior so, I should probably just let that happen. At the end of the day, he chose to step out on his marriage and he should be held accountable for that.