Has anyone had any experience with a sex addicted spouse?

Are you referring to yourself or did your H have a revenge affair?

Goldilocks, I really wish you would check out the Marriage Builders Radio show. Dr. Harley gives out a free hour of information every day. He has unique opinions on a lot of subjects, including sex addiction. There have been several shows on the subject, and if you were to start listening regularly, you'd probably hear something about that subject soon, and at the same time you'd also start learning information that will answer many other questions for you as well.

It's free, and there's an app you can put on your phone or tablet to listen, or you can listen on your PC. I really think you are probably the kind of person who will get much more out of listening to Dr. Harley every day than posting on the forum every once in a while.

Dr. Harley has had tons and tons and tons of experience.

Have you read this?

What is Sexual Addiction?

Myself.

I hadn't, thank you.

Thank you, I will look for the ap.

What about emailing Dr Harley?

Here is a clip.
Radio Clip on Sexual Addiction

Several emails on sexual addiction are answered, and Dr. Harley defines what sexual addiction is.

Radio Clip on Sexual Addiction
Segment #2

Why don't you post here about it, and give posters a chance to help?

Thank you for the links.
I also found the radio show ap and installed it on my phone.

Goldilocks, maybe I am wrong, but from this thread and the other, I have the idea that you have been trying to figure out, for years now, what is wrong with you that led to your affair. Limerence? Sexual addiction? How could it have happened?

The truth is, there's nothing wrong with you, and you are just like all of the rest of us. We would ALL have an affair under the right circumstances. ALL of us are prone to affairs. Every single human being. I would have an affair under certain circumstances, so would my wife, so would you, and so would all the other posters on this forum.

Maybe you could benefit from reading Dr. Harley's explanation of how affairs start:

How do Affairs Begin?

chapter 13 of His Needs, Her Needs

What we have here is a plan to create limerence in your marriage, where it is a good thing. Will your husband follow it with you?

A quick read through of your posts suggests to me that you are not a sex addict, but you ARE addicted to the OM (as are all people in affairs).

You told us you had ended that affair and confessed to your husband, but here you are, three years later, talking about your addiction.

What has been happening? It is obvious that you are still seeing that man, and seeking to blame it on "sex addiction".

I've been raked over the coals here, and I understand why, but I'm exhausted now.
To explain the last year and coming to realize I have a sex addiction has been a real struggle. I'm not sure I want to give details.
I'll say over the last couple of years, I've had anonymous sex with men I've met on a married dating site and CL. I couldn't stop until last May when I met a man I really liked, and still continued to keep looking for more men. I'm very aware it's inappropriate, I'm still married and every man I've been with has been married.
It's actually interesting that the new man I started communicating with on the same weekend I had spent a night with the one I have ended up having feelings for told me I had a problem, told me about AA and asked if my life was out of control.
I had never heard of sex addiction and googled it where I found several different tests you could take. You might have a problem if you scored 8 I believe it was. I scored 16 on one, 18 and 20 on the others. I called SAA and bought books, got a sponsor and talked to a therapist who specializes in sex addiction. Idk if it's helped, I just feel lost.
I've quit with the anonymous sex and in the last year I haven't had sex with anyone but my husband and the man I have feelings for.
I'm sure that's appalling to everyone here, but I feel it's something to celebrate considering the roller coaster I've been on.
At the same time I still feel hopeless and out of control because I don't think I can ever quit completely. I've managed to keep the texting way down, and try to do the things I've learned in SAA, but sometimes when I can't see the OM for a while I feel like I'm climbing the walls.
I feel like I just want to be put out of my misery.

It got way out of control since the first one.

I never saw the original other man again, although we did get back in communication for a while and spent time sexting and having phone sex. He texted me at Christmas to say happy holidays, but that's been it with him. He was divorcing his wife the last I heard.

Have you changed all your contact information?

Have you put EPs in place?

Does your BH know all this?

When is the last time you have been tested for STDs?

Your continued contact with OM is your problem.