Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 87 of 103 1 2 85 86 87 88 89 102 103
AskMe #2842588 02/11/15 07:42 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NLT)
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Some Bible translations describe love here as charity, but it is much more than charity we are familiar with. It is also much more than common love. It is love that is agape love. It is affection, good will, love, benevolence, brotherly love. It is true love towards God and man that develops out of sincere and fervent devotion to God.



In On This Day by Carl D. Windsor, the page for Valentine's Day includes this anecdote: "Even the most devoted couple will experience a 'stormy' bout once in a while. A grandmother, celebrating her golden wedding anniversary, once told the secret of her long and happy marriage. 'On my wedding day, I decided to make a list of ten of my husband's faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would overlook,' she said.

"A guest asked the woman what some of the faults she had chosen to overlook were. The grandmother replied, 'To tell you the truth, my dear, I never did get around to listing them. But whenever my husband did something that made me hopping mad, I would say to myself, Lucky for him that's one of the ten!' "


God never gives up on us. His love for us endures even when we have turned away from Him. God�s love is patient and kind, not willing for any to be lost. God keeps no record of wrong, for when we are forgiven the transgression is far from Him. God does not rejoice when we fail, but instead is ready to help us. Let us all learn to love as God loves, loving all and never keeping an account of how we were wronged.

AskMe #2842950 02/13/15 07:24 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
James 3:18 (NLT)
18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

And then, lastly, true wisdom will go on to sow the fruits of righteousness in peace, and thus, if it may be, to make peace in the world. And that which is sown in peace will produce a harvest of joys. Let others reap the fruits of contentions, and all the advantages they can propose to themselves by them; but let us go on peaceably to sow the seeds of righteousness, and we may depend upon it our labour will not be lost. For light is sown for the righteous, and gladness for the upright in heart; and the work of righteousness shall be peace, and the effect of righteousness quietness and assurance for ever. [Matthew Henry Commentary]



CNN.com told the story of Harmon Parker, a master mason who has found a unique calling in building bridges�literal bridges in Kenya.

One of the men who helps him is David Kakuko, whose parents drowned in a flash flood years ago because there wasn't a safe way to cross the river. "Before the bridge, there [were] so many people, so many who lost their lives," remembers Kakuko. "I know, because I have no parents. I have no parents, because this river took them."

Motivated by his desire to love and obey Christ, Harmon Parker came to Kenya and proceeded to build 45 foot bridges. They are simply designed, with an average length of 120 feet and an average cost of $6,000. He uses basic, local materials and always engages the people from the community to work and to help contribute.

According to the CNN article, he said, "I have built many bridges in very remote areas for the 'few and the needy' that a larger organization may not consider. Knowing this bridge will probably save at least one life is what makes me tick �. I build bridges because I want to save lives, lives that I will never know about."

Parker funded an organization called Bridging the Gap to help fund his work. He has paid a high price himself in experiencing long periods away from his family, being robbed at gunpoint, and contracting serious illnesses. Yet he says, "I feel I'm blessed � privileged to do what I'm doing. A bridge is a beautiful metaphor for many things. There are bridges of hope, bridges of peace, bridges of life. To me, bridges are beautiful." [Danielle Berger, "Transforming Kenya one bridge at a time," CNN.com (8-21-10)]


Jesus said in Matthew 5:9, �God blesses those who work for peace, for they will be called the children of God.� There are many ways to bring peace into our lives. One way might be the building of a bridge so people will know the peace of safely crossing a river. Another is building bridges in relationships so that people begin to understand one another and feel the peace of a good relationship. Those who have wisdom, those who understand peace, know it takes effort to maintain peace that lasts.

AskMe #2843448 02/17/15 07:29 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Romans 8:38-39 (NLT)
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God�s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow�not even the powers of hell can separate us from God�s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below�indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In these verses the apostle tells us the things that might try and separate us from the love of God and then concludes it cannot be done. There is nothing that can separate us from God�s love that is in Christ Jesus.



Leeza Gibbon�s mother, Gloria Jean Gibbons passed away in May of 2008 at the age of 72. Gloria Jean, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in 1999 -- after witnessing her own mother's long struggle with the disease. Knowing only too well what lay ahead for her, Gloria Jean Dyson Gibbons gathered her family to give them instructions for coping as her disease progressed. She urged her daughter to "tell this story and make it count."

Alzheimer�s is a terrible disease because it slowly empties a person of who they were. Slowly over time their body becomes empty of the memories they once had. Leeza once said, I remember being home in my mother's house in South Carolina, helping her make the bed, and she was watching my every movement closely and trying to mirror what I was doing. Then she stopped and looked at me, and I said, "What's the matter, Mom?"

She said, "You're a very nice lady. How do I know you?" And I just smiled and said, "You know me because today I'm your daughter, yesterday I was your daughter, and I'll always be your daughter." And she said, "Oh."



There are times we forget how much God cares for us. Yet through the struggles, God constantly reminds us that today He is our God, yesterday He was our God and He will always be our God. No power can separate us from the love of God.




[abstracts from https://www.caring.com/interviews/interview-with-leeza-gibbons-about-her-mom-s-alzheimer-s]

AskMe #2843590 02/18/15 07:51 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Proverbs 18:13 (NLT)
13 Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish.

Some take a pride in being quick. They answer a matter before they hear it, hear it out, nay, as soon as they but hear of it. They think it is their honour to take up a cause suddenly; and, when they have heard one side, they think the matter so plain that they need not trouble themselves to hear the other; they are already apprized of it, and masters of all the merits of the cause. Whereas, though a ready wit is an agreeable thing to play with, it is solid judgment and sound wisdom that do business. [Matthew Henry Commentary]



One day an old man was casually walking along a country lane with his dog and his mule. Suddenly a speeding pick-up truck careened around the corner, knocking the man, his mule, and his dog into the ditch.

The old man decided to sue the driver of the truck, seeking to recoup the cost of the damages. While the old man was on the stand, the counsel for the defense cross-examined the man by asking a simple question: "I want you to answer 'yes' or 'no' to the following question: Did you or did you not say at the time of the accident that you were 'perfectly fine'"?

And the man said, "Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road � " And the counsel for defense said, "Stop, stop, I asked you, tell me 'yes' or 'no', did you say you were 'perfectly fine' at the time of the accident?"

"Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road and � " The defense attorney appealed to the judge. "Your honor," he said, "the man is not answering the question. Would you please insist that he answer the question?" The judge said, "Well, he obviously wants to tell us something. Let him speak."

So the man said, "Well, me and my dog and my mule were walking along the road and this truck came around the corner far too fast, knocked us into the ditch. The driver stopped, got out of his truck, saw my dog was badly injured, went back to his truck, got his rifle, and he shot it. Then he saw that my mule had broken his leg so he shot it. Then he said, 'How are you?' And I said, 'I'm perfectly fine.'"


It is to our advantage to take time to listen to the entire story before coming to a conclusion. As The Bible tells us we need to be quick listen and slow to speak so that we have time to absorb and process the information before us.

AskMe #2843935 02/20/15 07:06 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Proverbs 17:9 (NLT)
9 Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

The ripping up of faults is the ripping out of love, and nothing tends more to the separating of friends, and setting them at variance, than the repeating of matters that have been in variance; for they commonly lose nothing in the repetition, but the things themselves are aggravated and the passions about them revived and exasperated. The best method of peace is by an amnesty or act of oblivion. [Matthew Henry Commentary]




Amy Sutherland communicates some interesting ideas about husbands and wives in an article she wrote for the New York Times called, "What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage." Sutherland begins by explaining that, after 12 years of marriage, she became dismayed that her husband still exhibited several irritating habits. Her reaction to this realization is shared by many women today:

These minor annoyances are not the stuff of separation and divorce, but in sum they began to dull my love for Scott. I wanted�needed�to nudge him a little closer to perfect, to make him into a mate who might annoy me a little less, who wouldn't keep me waiting at restaurants, a mate who would be easier to love.

So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he'd drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever.

A breakthrough came when Amy began traveling to a school for exotic animal trainers in California in order to research a book she wanted to write:

I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but loveable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller.
[Amy Sutherland, "What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage," The New York Times (6-25-06)]


Dale Carnegie once said, �If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive.�

AskMe #2844358 02/23/15 07:37 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Proverbs 14:22 (NLT)
22 If you plan to do evil, you will be lost; if you plan to do good, you will receive unfailing love and faithfulness.

Those who think themselves skilled in the labors of sin will soon find themselves at ruin. Those who plan and do good things please God; to which God�s response is to give grace and make Himself the debtor.




James Robertson, of Detroit walked twenty miles a day and in that time, Robertson has never missed a day of work. "I just believe a man should work. Work takes care of your soul. The rest takes care of itself."

This outlook may have made Robertson rich in spirit, but it has not made him rich in fact. He can't afford a car; he clears only $320 a week, and auto insurance can top $5,000 a year in Detroit. His landlord charges him $220 a week for the room. When it's all said and done, there's nothing left after groceries and bus fare. That's how it is in Detroit. Like running on quick sand.

The local newspaper got hold of his story a couple weeks ago. And then the TV. And then the internet. Pictures of a humble, raggedy man shambling through 14 inches of snow. A working class hero. The story went viral. And that's when the trouble started.

More than $350,000 in donations poured into a GoFundMe account set up for him. A local Ford dealership gave him a flaming-red Taurus loaded with options. But the well-meaning dealership may as well have painted a bull's-eye on the hood and attached a vanity plate that screamed: Come get me! I'm rich!

After that, everybody knew him. And everybody wanted something. The neighborhood started showing up on his porch with their palms out, though Robertson has yet to receive any of the money. His girlfriend � the one who owns the house and charges him 200 bucks for the bedroom � demanded a payout, he said. So did her ex-husband who lives with them. So did her adult son who lives with them. So did the other dude who lives with them. [Extracts from news.vice.com, Detroit�s walking man walks on, by Charlie Leduff]


James Robertson�s work ethics and goodness of heart inspired others to help James. They poured their love out upon him; but sadly those who wanted to do evil turned against James. Thankfully the people who truly loved and supported James came to his assistance and found him a new place to live, a new place to park and they are seeing how they can help him further.

AskMe #2845712 03/02/15 04:36 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Job 23:10-11 (NLT)
10 But he knows where I am going. And when he tests me, I will come out as pure as gold. 11 For I have stayed on God�s paths; I have followed his ways and not turned aside.

Jobs friends had judged him for things they did not know and for which he was never guilty. Here we find Job�s confident reply that God is the witness to his integrity and that he lived a life satisfying to himself and God.




Admiral William H. McRaven, a 36-year Navy SEAL veteran, gave the commencement address to the Class of 2014 at the University of Texas in Austin. He titled his talk "10 Lessons to Change the World." Here's his first lesson about how to change the world:

Every morning in basic SEAL training, my instructors � would show up in my barracks room and the first thing they would inspect was your bed. If you did it right, the corners would be square, the covers pulled tight, the pillow centered just under the headboard and the extra blanket folded neatly at the foot of the rack�rack�that's Navy talk for bed.

It was a simple task�mundane at best. But every morning we were required to make our bed to perfection. It seemed a little ridiculous at the time, particularly in light of the fact that were aspiring to be real warriors, tough battle hardened SEALs�but the wisdom of this simple act has been proven to me many times over.

If you make your bed every morning you will have accomplished the first task of the day � By the end of the day, that one task completed will have turned into many tasks completed. Making your bed will also reinforce the fact that little things in life matter. If you can't do the little things right, you will never do the big things right. And, if by chance you have a miserable day, you will come home to a bed that is made�that you made�and a made bed gives you encouragement that tomorrow will be better. If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. [Admiral William H. McRaven, "Admiral McRaven: 10 Lessons to Help Change the World," Real Clear Politics (5-22-14)]


Because God knew his way, Job turned from the unjust judgments of his unfeeling friends and appealed to the Lord God Himself. He pleaded in the supreme court, where his case was known, and he refused the verdicts of erring men. He that doeth right seeketh the light; and as Job saw that the light was with God, he hastened to that light, that his deeds might be made manifest. [C.H. Spurgeon]

AskMe #2846059 03/04/15 06:08 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Joshua 1:9 (NLT)
9 This is my command�be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

For the present and future generations of those who trust it God, it is a comforting thought that the same grace of God will be present as it has been in the past. God�s presence will watch over us and we can be strong and courageous knowing God is with us. Therefore do not be afraid nor discouraged.



Harriet Tubman escaped from slavery in 1849. She immediately became involved in the abolitionist movement, organizing meetings, speaking against slavery, and the like.

But that wasn't enough for Tubman. She decided to return to the South secretly and deliver other slaves to freedom. It was a great risk, because if she had been caught, she would certainly have been thrown back into slavery or killed as an example to other potential runaways.

But not only did she return to the South that one time, she went back 19 times, to eventually rescue some 300 fellow slaves. Each trip became more risky, as slave catchers were on the alert for her. But each time she embarked on the journey, and each time, with God's help, she confessed, she evaded the authorities. [Matt Donnelly, "Black Moses: The mystical faith and no-nonsense tactics of the Underground Railroad�s Most Famous Leader," Christian History, issue 62, volume 2, page 24.]


General George Patton once said, "Courage is fear that has said its prayers."

When we know God is with us we do not have to be afraid; for He is our God. We are the people he watches over, the flock under his care. He protects the lives of His godly people and rescues them from the power of the wicked.

AskMe #2846495 03/06/15 08:09 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Proverbs 5:1 (NLT)
My son, pay attention to my wisdom; listen carefully to my wise counsel.

Solomon's lectures are not designed to fill our heads with notions, with matters of nice speculation, or doubtful disputation, but to guide us in the government of ourselves, that we may act prudently, so as becomes us and so as will be for our true interest. [Matthew Henry]



The other day I listened to a friend describe what they call a feedback session at their job. The intent of the feedback session is to cover a situation or event an employee was involved in and provides constructive feedback to the person. The intent is to help the employee learn how to better handle an issue in the future. There are no disciplinary actions associated with the feedback session; instead it is an opportunity to listen to another�s wisdom and gain from their knowledge.

In this case my friend had to cover an issue with a fellow employee. My friend was careful to explain how he saw what had taken place and how the employee could better themselves the next time. After listening for a short while the employee told my friend he felt like he was being disciplined. Yet there were no disciplinary actions to be taken. This was a constructive feedback session to help the employee deal with future circumstances in the most professional manner. My friend reassured the employee this was for their benefit and no actions were to be taken.

So why would someone feel like they were being disciplined when they were receiving constructive feedback? Unfortunately there could be many reasons that came from the persons past. They may have had parents who disciplined for any and all negative actions. The person may have low self-respect or low self-esteem and therefore they believe any comments against them to be negative and hurtful. They may have been in negative relationships where their good qualities were never validated and their bad qualities were emphasized.

Yet, what was the intent of the session? It was an opportunity to learn from another�s wisdom without any repercussions or disciplinary actions. Just by listening and understanding their mistakes they could avoid making the same mistake in the future where the consequences could be greater.

If you know someone is trying to help you, put aside your feelings and listen to their wisdom. By paying attention you could improve yourself and learn to deal with the realities of life. In fact maybe the person talking to you has been in the same position before and learned how to effectively deal with whatever took place. Had they not listened to wisdom they would not have the chance to pass it on.

AskMe #2846780 03/09/15 06:26 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
1 Corinthians 2:2 (NLT)
2 For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the one who was crucified.

Matthew Henry�s commentary tells us of the Apostle Paul, He determined to know nothing among them but Jesus Christ and him crucified-to make a show of no other knowledge than this, to preach nothing, to discover the knowledge of nothing, but Jesus Christ, and him crucified. Note, Christ, in his person and offices, is the sum and substance of the gospel, and ought to be the great subject of a gospel minister's preaching. His business is to display the banner of the cross, and invite people under it. Any one that heard Paul preach found him to harp so continually on this string that he would say he knew nothing but Christ and him crucified. Whatever other knowledge he had, this was the only knowledge he discovered, and showed himself concerned to propagate among his hearers.




Above the apostle said he was determined to know everything about Christ. As Christians, we are to build a relationship with Christ. We are to know Jesus just as much or more than any close friend we have. We learn about Him by reading The Bible, spending time with Jesus in prayer and listening for answers to our prayers.

So I was intrigued the other day when I ran across an article on the CNN news site that said, �Five you didn�t know about Jesus.� I thought, let�s check these five things out and see whether I know them or not. The five items listed were:

1.) Jesus came from a nowhere little town.
2.) Jesus probably didn't know everything.
3.) Jesus was tough.
4.) Jesus needed "me time."
5.) Jesus didn't want to die.

Jesus came from a little nowhere town of Nazareth. Often Nazareth is referred to as a village. Historians placed the population around 400 during the life of Christ. One hint that it was not a city of great culture is when Nathaniel remarks to Philip, �Nazareth!� exclaimed Nathanael. �Can anything good come from Nazareth?�

Jesus didn�t know everything although he was God incarnate. As Jesus was explaining to the disciples about a time when the temple would be destroyed He said, �However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows.� So there were things the Father knew, but Jesus himself was not privy to.

As many of the time, Jesus was physically tough. The mode of travel was usually walking and many times walking a great distance. The occupation of being a carpenter was not easy. Everything was performed by hand, from the cutting of the lumber to assembling the wood into something useful. Often carpenters would even help with the construction of a home, so Jesus was definitely in good physical shape.


Just like many of us, Jesus needed time alone. Jesus used his time in several ways. At one point he spent 40 days in the wilderness fasting so that He might draw closer to The Father. There were other times Jesus spent time alone in prayer. Occasionally Jesus just needed time away from the overwhelming crowds that followed Him and would retreat to a place of solitude.

Most of us don�t want to die. Jesus wasn�t any different from us in that regard, except He knew his purpose in life was to die for the sins of man. One evening after Jesus had dined with His disciples he went to the Mount of Olives where he wanted to spend time in prayer. There Jesus spoke these words to The Father, �Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.� Jesus was willing to do whatever God the Father asked of Him, yet he still asked if it was possible for Him not to suffer and die. However, we know that Jesus followed through with The Father�s desires and gave up His life freely so that we may live an eternal life with Him in Heaven.

How did you do with the five facts? Did you know them? If you missed a couple, it�s ok. It just shows we all need to learn more about Jesus so we can become closer to Him.

AskMe #2847072 03/11/15 06:29 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Deuteronomy 7:9 (NLT)
9 Understand, therefore, that the Lord your God is indeed God. He is the faithful God who keeps his covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes his unfailing love on those who love him and obey his commands.

"The Lord thy God is not like the gods of the nations, the creatures of fancy, subjects fit enough for loose poetry, but no proper objects of serious devotion; no, he is God, God indeed, God alone, the faithful God, able and ready not only to fulfil his own promises, but to answer all the just expectations of his worshippers, and he will certainly keep covenant and mercy,' that is, "show mercy according to covenant, to those that love him and keep his commandments' (and in vain do we pretend to love him if we do not make conscience of his commandments); "and this' (as is here added for the explication of the promise in the second commandment) "not only to thousands of persons, but to thousands of generations-so inexhaustible is the fountain, so constant are the streams!' [Matthew Henry Commentary]



A 1994 Swiss study explored how religion gets passed from one generation to the next. In other words, what causes a child to adopt his or her parent's faith? The results pointed to one critical factor: the father's involvement in practicing his faith. The results included the following statistics:

If both father and mother attend regularly, 33 percent of children will become regular churchgoers, and 41 percent will attend irregularly.

If only the mother attends regularly and the father attends sporadically, only 3 percent of children will become regular churchgoers, and 59 percent will attend irregularly.

On the other hand, if a father attends church regularly but the mother is irregular, 38 percent of children will become regular attenders.

And if the father attends church regularly but the mother doesn't attend, the percentage rises even higher: 44 percent of children will become regular attenders.

When neither parent practices their faith, to nobody's surprise, only 4 percent of children will become regular attenders and 15 percent will attend occasionally. In other words, without mom or dad's regular participation, 80 percent of children will drift away from the faith.

Although the study certainly challenges fathers to participate in church involvement, it also offers some hope for faithful moms. Even when a father attends irregularly there are some extraordinary effects. And the Swiss study didn't account for many other factors: the spiritual vitality of the church attended, the power of a praying mother (or other family members), and the influence of a church that mentors children whose fathers are less involved. [Robbie Low, "The Truth About Men & Church," Touchstone Magazine (June, 2003);]


There are many fathers who have disobeyed God and turned away from Him. In doing so they have not affected just themselves, but they have also affected the faith of their children.

AskMe #2847642 03/17/15 06:14 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Psalm 23:1-3 (NLT)
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I have all that I need. 2 He lets me rest in green meadows; he leads me beside peaceful streams.3 He renews my strength. He guides me along right paths, bringing honor to his name.

It is the duty of Christians to encourage themselves in the Lord their God; and we are here directed to take that encouragement both from the relation wherein he stands to us and from the experience we have had of his goodness according to that relation. [Matthew Henry]



Pat Summerall, the well known sports announcer, overcame alcoholism and became a follower of Christ in his late sixties. He said this about water baptism: "I went down in the water, and when I came up it was like a 40-pound weight had been lifted from me. I have a happier life, a healthy life, and a more positive feeling about life than ever before."

About prayer meetings and Bible studies Summerall comments: "It's like an alcoholic looking for a drink. If he wants it bad enough, he can find it�no matter what. I'm like that when it comes to finding prayer services and Bible studies. No matter where I am working, I know that they're out there and I can find them." [Art Stricklin, Sports Spectrum (Nov/Dec 2001), p. 27; Terry Mattingly, Washington Bureau (2-27-02)]


When our strength is failing, God Himself renews our strength and gives us new hope that we might bring honor to his name. God leads us to places that are peaceful and calm; away from the worldly life that seeks to destroy us. He is our shepherd and prepares for us all that we need.

AskMe #2847801 03/18/15 07:47 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Romans 15:13 (NLT)
13 I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Observe how he addresses himself to God, as the God of hope. It is good in prayer to fasten upon those names, titles, and attributes of God, which are most suitable to the errand we come upon, and will best serve to encourage our faith concerning it. Every word in the prayer should be a plea. Thus should the cause be skilfully ordered, and the mouth filled with arguments. God is the God of hope. He is the foundation on which our hope is built, and he is the builder that doth himself raise it: he is both the object of our hope, and the author of it. [Matthew Henry Commentary]



As a winter storm rolled over Birmingham, Alabama on January 28th 2014, Dr. Zenko Hrynkiw heard that a patient at Trinity Medical Center had taken a turn for the worse. The patient needed surgery, no other surgeon was available, and the patient had a 90 percent chance of dying. Driving wasn't an option because of the snow and ice. Emergency personnel were busy.

So the 62-year-old doctor faced these brute facts and proceeded to take action. He put a coat over his hospital scrubs and started walking six miles in the snow from Brookwood Medical Center to Trinity Medical Center. Along the way, he fell and rolled down a hill, but he got back up. He helped some drivers who were stuck in the snow. He finally arrived at Trinity, performed the surgery, and probably saved a patient's life.

In a later press conference that praised his efforts, Dr. Zenko Hrynkiw wondered what all the fuss was about. He said, "It really wasn't that big of a deal." Any good doctor would have done the same thing, Hrynkiw said. The patient was dying and, he said, "that wasn't going to happen on my shift."

But a hospital official said the doctor was being modest. Keith Granger, Trinity Medical Center's CEO, said, "It was not just a walk in the park. Given the conditions, the temperatures and the terrain, it's a remarkable physical feat and mental feat. And we have an individual alive today who wouldn't be here if not for his efforts."


Never give up on the hope God offers for we never know when someone will be moved to walk through a winter storm, helping people along the way, just to save a patient who needs the help of a doctor.

AskMe #2847868 03/19/15 05:52 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Galatians 5:22-23 (NLT)
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

The apostle has spoken previously on those things that corrupt men and here he speaks of the Holy Spirit that produces the good fruits in our lives. �He particularly recommends to us, love, to God especially, and to one another for his sake,-joy, by which may be understood cheerfulness in conversation with our friends, or rather a constant delight in God,-peace, with God and conscience, or a peaceableness of temper and behaviour towards others,-long-suffering, patience to defer anger, and a contentedness to bear injuries,-gentleness, such a sweetness of temper, and especially towards our inferiors, as disposes us to be affable and courteous, and easy to be entreated when any have wronged us,-goodness (kindness, beneficence), which shows itself in a readiness to do good to all as we have opportunity,-faith, fidelity, justice, and honesty, in what we profess and promise to others,-meekness, wherewith to govern our passions and resentments, so as not to be easily provoked, and, when we are so, to be soon pacified,-and temperance, in meat and drink, and other enjoyments of life, so as not to be excessive and immoderate in the use of them.� [Matthew Henry Commentary]



An article in The Boston Globe claims that our "demand for instant results is seeping into every corner of our lives." The need for instant gratification is not new, but our expectation of "instant" has become faster. The article states:

Retailers are jumping into same-day delivery services. Smartphone apps eliminate the wait for a cab, a date, or a table at a hot restaurant. Movies and TV shows begin streaming in seconds. But experts caution that instant gratification comes at a price: It's making us less patient �

We've come to expect things so quickly that researchers found people can't wait more than a few seconds for a video to load. One researcher examined the viewing habits of 6.7 million internet users. How long were subjects willing to be patient? Two seconds. After that they started abandoning the site. After five seconds, the abandonment rate is 25 percent. When you get to 10 seconds, half are gone." The results offer a glimpse into the future. As Internet speeds increase, people will be even less willing to wait for that cute puppy video. The researcher, who spent years developing the study, worries someday people will be too impatient to conduct studies on patience. [Christopher Muther, "Instant gratification is making us perpetually impatient," The Boston Globe (2-2-13)]


God through the Holy Spirit can move us to do good things. Yet when we pursue the things of the world we miss out on what God is trying to teach us. As stated above we become impatient and want things now. In some cases that leads people to perform acts of crime to obtain what they want now.

Let us all take time to listen to the Holy Spirit and look forward to the good fruits in our life.

AskMe #2847947 03/20/15 05:23 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
1 Peter 2:2-3 (NLT)
2 Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment, 3 now that you have had a taste of the Lord�s kindness.

This milk of the word must be sincere, not adulterated by the mixtures of men, who often corrupt the word of God, 2 Co. 2:17. The manner in which they are to desire this sincere milk of the word is stated thus: As new-born babes. He puts them in mind of their regeneration. A new life requires suitable food. They, being newly born, must desire the milk of the word. Infants desire common milk, and their desires towards it are fervent and frequent, arising from an impatient sense of hunger, and accompanied with the best endeavours of which the infant is capable. Such must Christians' desires be for the word of God: and that for this end, that they may grow thereby, that we may improve in grace and the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour.



As a child I loved the evenings that the kids in our family would sit by my father's chair while he read us stories aloud. One of our favorites was the poem "The Highwayman." The poem tells of an adventurer who robs the coaches of English aristocrats. The daring highwayman is in love with an innkeeper's daughter, and by night, when the coast is clear, he courts her. The authorities learn of the romance, and one twilight, before the highwayman arrives, British soldiers invade the inn. They tie the innkeeper's daughter at the window so the highwayman will see her and believe the way is safe. Then, lest she try to warn her love in any way, the soldiers gag the maid and tie a musket at her heart that will fire at the slightest movement. The highwayman comes riding.

Unaware of the muskets that wait to cut him down, the highwayman gallops ever closer to his destruction. He sees his love at the window. She hears his horse's hoofs on the lane. The soldiers [censored] their muskets. Nearer to the arms he loves, nearer to his destruction, the highwayman comes riding. Then, just as he is about to enter musket range, a premature shot rings out warning him to turn back. The highwayman reins and turns as the frustrated soldiers shoot a futile volley. All the muskets fire, but only one found its mark. The one true shot was from the musket that fired the warning�the musket aimed at the heart of the innkeeper's daughter. She warned at the expense of her life, and the warning was the expression of a great love.

The Cross stands both as God's ultimate warning of the consequences of sin, and as the greatest expression of his love for sinners. If God did not love, he would not so graciously warn. The Cross is the fatal cry of a Savior to those he loves to turn from what will do them great harm. [Bryan Chapell, from the sermon "The Judgment of Grace," PreachingToday.com]


Cry out for nourishment from God so that you may understand God�s full love. For Christ gave his life out of love that the arrows of death would miss us. 1 Corinthians 15:54-55 says, �54 Then, when our dying bodies have been transformed into bodies that will never die, this Scripture will be fulfilled:

�Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is your victory?
O death, where is your sting?�

AskMe #2848269 03/23/15 07:05 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Proverbs 23:12 (NLT)
12 Commit yourself to instruction; listen carefully to words of knowledge.

Here is, 1. A parent instructing his child. He is here brought in persuading him to give his mind to his book, and especially to the scriptures and his catechism, to attend to the words of knowledge, by which he might come to know his duty, and danger, and interest, and not to think it enough to give them the hearing, but to apply his heart to them, to delight in them, and bow his will to the authority of them. The heart is then applied to the instruction when the instruction is applied to the heart. [Matthew Henry]



Many Christians only see bits and pieces of the Bible, lacking a big picture of how the Scriptures hold together. Theology and doctrine provide that larger vision of the entire Bible. In his book The Social Animal, David Brooks illustrates the need for a big picture by using an illustration from the game of chess:

A series of highly skilled players and a series of nonplayers were shown a series of chessboards [with chess pieces] for about five to ten seconds each �. [Later], the grandmasters could remember every piece on every board. The average players could only remember about four or five pieces per board.

Why did the chess grandmasters have such an amazing ability to remember the pieces? They did not have superior IQ's or better memories. Instead, Brooks explains:

The real reason the grandmasters could remember the game boards so well is that after so many years of study, they saw the boards in a different way. When average players saw the boards, they saw a group of individual pieces. When the masters saw the boards, they saw formations. Instead of seeing a bunch of letters on a page, they saw words, paragraphs, and stories �. Expertise is about forming internal connections so that the little pieces of information turn into bigger networked chunks of information. Learning is not merely about accumulating facts. It is internalizing the relationship between pieces of information.

For Christians, theology and doctrine are essential because they provide the big picture so we can read Scripture and see not just "individual pieces" of information. Doctrine also enables us to see "the relationship between the pieces of information." [David Brooks, The Social Animal (Random House, 2011), pp. 88-89]

AskMe #2848470 03/24/15 06:42 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Matthew 11:28 (NLT)
28 Then Jesus said, �Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.�

This is an invitation from Christ that all those who are tired from heavy burdens, weariness, hardship of ceremonial laws, and arduous traditions are to come to Christ so He can set His church free from the yokes of labor that have been placed on them. Christ wants to introduce them to an easier way that takes away the shame and guilt and instead invites them to rest.



I called him Two-Phone Joe. The first time I met him, I was sitting at an outdoor table at my favorite coffee spot. He came out, cell phone pressed between shoulder and ear, talking a blue streak. He had a cup of coffee in one hand, a Coke in the other, and another phone on his belt. When he put his cup down to hang up, I said, "Man, you've got to relax a little!" And that's how my friendship got started with one of the most hyper guys I've ever known.

Joe and I talked often. Actually, Joe ranted and raved, and I mostly listened. Once, I was sitting at an inside table and he came in, assaulting his phone as usual. He talked, loud and angry, the whole time he ordered and then, after he sat down, he kept arguing for the whole coffee shop to hear. When he finally got off the phone, I said, "Joe, come here."

"What?" he barked, guardedly.

"Sit down here," I repeated.

"Why?" he asked, but he sat down.

"Joe, I don't know if anyone has ever done this for you before, but I am going to pray for you right now." Joe's eyes got big, and he looked at me like I was crazy. Before he could run, I just put my hand on his arm and quietly prayed for a few seconds, asking God to quiet Joe and to give him peace.

"Thank you," Joe said softly, and I wondered if that might have been the first holy moment in Joe's entire tumultuous life. [Lee Eclov, "Christ in a Coffee Shop," Trinity Magazine (Spring 2006), p. 15]


The world calls out to us that we must be perfect, that we must be successful, and that we must work as hard as we can to obtain what we want. Yet Jesus calls out to us and says, �Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. I know there are some of you carrying difficult burdens so let me take a moment to pray for you.

Father, there are those reading these words that have the weight of the world on their shoulders. They are tired, weary and just plain exhausted. They have so many things on their plate they aren�t sure where to turn next. Father let them hear the call of Jesus saying come and I will give you rest. Let them feel Your peace, Your quiet, Your comfort and Your love. Show them the life they need to follow. In Jesus name, Amen.

AskMe #2848586 03/25/15 06:52 AM
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Proverbs 25:28 (NLT)
28 A person without self-control is like a city with broken-down walls.

The good character of a wise and virtuous man implied. He is one that has rule over his own spirit; he maintains the government of himself, and of his own appetites and passions, and does not suffer them to rebel against reason and conscience. He has the rule of his own thoughts, his desires, his inclinations, his resentments, and keeps them all in good order. [Matthew Henry Commentary]



Before serving as a Methodist minister from 2000 to 2010 near Nashville, Tennessee, John M. Eades spent two decades as a therapist counseling drug and alcohol addicts. But his professional expertise did not prevent his descent into compulsive gambling.

His downfall began when some friends pestered him into accompanying them to a casino. Although Eades had never been a gambler, the urge to play the slot machines that was sparked that night escalated into daily casino visits.

"I went every afternoon after work and stayed until late, and I'd go every weekend," recalls Eades, 68. Missing church was no concern. At the time, Eades only attended sporadically.

Within two years, he had maxed out 17 credit cards and amassed $245,000 in gambling debts. One night, driving home from the casino, Eades decided to kill himself. He pulled over at a rest stop and reached into the glove compartment for his .357 Magnum. The gun was gone. Upon reaching home, Eades hugged his wife, Karen, and thanked her for saving his life by hiding the weapon. But he was in for another surprise.

"I didn't take the gun to save your life," Karen told him. "I sold it so we could pay the electric bill."

Soon, the economic strain became too much for Karen. She swallowed an entire bottle of pills in front of her husband. After getting his wife's stomach pumped at a hospital, Eades tried to escape his own depression by going off to gamble.

Later, in a drastic step to remove temptation, Eades moved to a Tennessee town 300 miles away from the nearest casino. He agreed to Karen's request that they attend church regularly. Yet Eades secretly started stashing money in his car trunk for a planned trip to a Mississippi casino.

Another suicide attempt, this time by his 27-year-old daughter, Ginger, over a failed relationship, finally prompted Eades to change �. He opened his car trunk and gave the $600 he had saved for gambling to his wife.

Today Eades is in recovery and marvels at the power the addiction had over his life. "When you're in an addiction and you look back, it's just like you were an insane person," says Eades �. "You cannot believe the things you did."

Eades says there can be no removal of addictive desires or recovery without God's intervention. He also credits Karen, his wife of 48 years.

"When you're [an addict] you really want people to leave you alone so you can feel sorry for yourself and keep [up your addiction]," Eades says. "It's very important to have [someone] who loves you enough to stay with you through it." [John W. Kennedy, "Entering Ministry After Addiction," Leadership Journal (Spring 2011)]

AskMe #2848948 03/27/15 10:17 PM
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 11,239
People that were in affairs and come out of them also state on these forums y hat they were nearly insane at the time.

Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
A
AskMe Offline OP
Member
OP Offline
Member
A
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,088
Originally Posted by Jedi_Knight
People that were in affairs and come out of them also state on these forums y hat they were nearly insane at the time.


I believe for some that affairs become an addiction that trys to fill a void that can't be filled. Some have described it as you said, something where they felt insane; because they were doing something insane they knew inside they should not be doing.

Page 87 of 103 1 2 85 86 87 88 89 102 103

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 134 guests, and 64 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Confused1980, Bibbyryan860, Ian T, SadNewYorker, Jay Handlooms
71,840 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5