Yeah, he answered my email on 3/13. Advice: file for divorce.

Today is the first time he's missed a call with our daughter. He's degrading into a worse and worse father.

Darn it.

Your daughter has you as her rock.

His missing the call is a big hit in his account in your love bank. Each time he does father up.....it is a deposit.

I sent over a new call schedule this week to his lawyer, so I am willing to believe that he got this wrong on accident, but who knows. I'll know if he tries to call her tomorrow.

Hi guys,

I found an attorney I really like here in my new county. I am still having money issues, but he will put me on a payment plan. So, I will be filing soon. I feel a bit bad about potentially filing during Holy Week, but it's a bit of poetic justice. A year ago on Easter (yes Easter) he went to church with his family and then started a physical affair with OW later that day.

This year, I'll be reclaiming Easter for what it was meant for at least one of the things it was meant for--renewal. I would have liked to say that the other things it was meant for--reconciliation--would have been achieved by this point, but that is beyond my control. Even God, who forgives freely, requires repentance.

Glad you found a good lawyer. Stay strong. God is in control.

Well, got the attorney... filing next week, I guess. I'll have him served when he comes for his next visit. He missed a call with DD, so I am not sure when he'll want to come next.

Your lawyer can serve him via certified mail, can't he?

Personal service is required in ca. I could get him served in Northern California as well.

Your divorce attorney would know best, but it seems service by mail is also possible. Obviously the site could be mistaken, but it might save some money to do it by mail if you can...

http://info.legalzoom.com/serve-respondent-divorce-papers-california-25102.html

Yeah, I only have his work address and I have no clue of he will certify that I served him, do it's safer to do it in person. I'll just have my dad do it when he drops off my daughter on his next visit. Cheap and guaranteed.

A person who is not related to you would be better. If your WH should ever contest that he has gotten served at all, non-family stands up better in court. At least have a non-involved person present as a witness.

In Oregon it cost $35 for service from the local sheriff.

Ask your dad to snap a pic on his cell phone when WH has the papers in his hands. Your attorney or you should file the proof of service ASAP after he is served.

You could also maybe ask your neighbor to come over and do it but I don't think it's a problem that your dad serves him. I doubt WH will contest it vs making more of a fool out of himself by denying he was served...but even then if he wanted to go there, that's on him.

Get a process server to deliver it to him at work (witnesses galore).
Your attorney should be able to get a recommendation of one from family law attornies in the Bay Area.

Yeah, his lawyer sent my old lawyer a note on Monday saying that his very broad non-disparagement clause was "non-negotiable at this point" as part of the post-nup. Then said that they would explore "other options for resolution" if I didn't comply by the 13th. He doesn't know I am already filing, do this is just further confirmation that I should.

His lawyer justified that crazy clause by saying that I was "interfering with his job prospects" and harassing him because I exposed to his clients and boss...back in September. I haven't talked to anyone there since then and he didn't lose his job. Also his lawyer said that I was putting my daughter at risk because "a stranger contacted my WH's ex-mistress asking for naked pictures of her, my WH and my DD. " That's just so outrageous. I didn't mention my DDs or my WHs name. It's just so dumb. Also, the use of "ex-mistress" is silly seeing as how they are in contact. Someone even posted on one of the internet posts that they are still in contact. If she was his ex-mistress he would have no clue what was going on with her. These people really think I am very dumb.

All they want is the internet posts to be taken down. They are obsessed with that. It's not like even if I took them down, the toothpaste would go back in the tube. Everyone knows they had an affair. So if they pretend like nothing is going on until after a divorce, it's not as though respectability is somehow restored to their relationship. Everyone will still know she was is mistress and ruined his marriage.

Yep, my WW is obsessed with the Internet postings, too.

Your WH is delusional. He thinks you're going to stay married? Unbelievable. I think when he's served he's going to be absolutely shocked.

He thinks the threat of divorce will make me take down the postings, which I won't take down and I can't take down if I wanted to anyway.

But no, I don't really want to stay married anymore, even though it's very painful. I loved him very much and we had a good, playful marriage for the most part (although there were too many love busters, which of course tends to ruin the good part).

On a positive note, I got a contract position and am fasting for Holy Week. My daughter is also doing very well, considering everything.

He knows what he has to do if he wants to reconcile. It's sad that it has to come to this, but this is completely on him.

I'm happy to hear you landed a job and that your daughter is doing well.

Filing this morning. Pray for me and my marriage please, friends.