Thats a pack of nonsense. ""Closure" means to close, not continue. Don't tell this piece of crap that you are going to reveal it. That will be a double betrayal to your husband and son.

Don't talk to OM in person.
Tell your H you have cheated on him with OM.
Your child can, sadly, not be friends with OM's child any more.

You blew it by crossing a boundary.

OM is worried about covering his own [censored] and is a coward like the typical OM. He doesn't care about you, your BH or your son. I hope you don't buy this garbage and continue to protect the OM instead of your husband and family.


You have been told how to cut things off. Are you going to expose your affair to your husband?

Welcome to MB

]
So sez the fox in the henhouse. "Please don't disrupt my assault on this family. It will ruin my good time."

This peice of CRAP cares nothing about your children or you. He is screwing their mother, and destroying their family, FOR GODS SAKE.

Ma'am, you need to wake up and start using your brain. You are allowing this predator to hurt you, your children and your husband.

llk,

You wrote, He said that I can't reveal the affair because it will damage our kids and they will be extremely hurt and nothing good will come out of it.

Actually the affair has already hurt the children, and continuing to lie to your BH will continue that hurt indefinitely into the future.

Your children deserve parents that love each other. As long as you are in this affair or keep it a secret you cannot fall back into love with your BH.

The OM has attacked your child every bit as much as if he had hit him with a stick, he is in no way a friend of your child, and your child should never see or be around OM.

Gamma

See this is why you need the help of your non-addict husband. Your husband can help guide you away from all the stupid illogical reasons your ADDICTION will come up with of why you have to speak to OM. Closure? Closing the door means NOT speaking to him.

See,

You don't have to speak to some outsider of your marriage about ANYTHING in your marriage.

It's NONE OF HIS BUSINESS what you tell your husband.

It's none of his business what you tell your kids

It's not his place. At all.

Just who does he think he is??!! Telling you how to raise your kids when the little friend in his pants is more important than his kid's friendships. Maybe you will say that you've done the same thing to yours - but it's still none of his business what you do next! Don't make decisions with him - ewwwww.

That's the other thing about the affair that bugged me more than the sex. The lies and the fact that the two ADULTERERS made all the plans about MY marriage. They always talk to each other, not the spouse. Why? Drama, drama, drama.

Talk to your HUSBAND about the future, not the skeevo. You and your husband will decide how to end your affair and who to tell.

He will not get off scot-free - but decide with your husband what to do about this problem - not the man who thinks you are some kind of bored housewife and is using you for cheap sex.

Make your plans with the man who stood up and married you.

The intruder in the marriage gets NO say in what you do or say with your husband. Ever. And he would have some nerve to complain about that.

I hate to use psychobabble terms, but -

enmeshment?

Seems to fit here, and maybe llk_1 will think about whether it is so good to be enmeshed with this guy or not. Can she make her own decisions, or does she have to run them all past this guy that she is not even married to? Where does he end and she begin?

I have to wonder.

I really hoped that her initial post meant she was considering facing up to her own mess and fixing it.

However this silence, and this focus on OM means it is probably just one of the many, many low points of an affair. Affairees are clingy and dramatic with each other.

If she can threaten him he might trot out some fake affection to keep her sweet for a while. Not so hard to send a few 'sure I love you' texts. I think we were supposed to support her idea to threaten him. That's the only way to get her next fix.

BSs always think affairs are so idealistic and happy. But really, they have to be happy clappy with each other due to the sick hold they have on each other.

If you read affair text messages, affairs sound idyllic - but it's all show. This is what they really look like.

I'm guessing that llk did not llk the advice she was given...though I do believe that she came her to appease the guilt that still resides in a compartment of her soul.

Addictions are sad. They suck out one's life force. And once they take hold, they don't let go without a preternatural strong will or a heroic intervention.

The best thing that llk can do right now is dig deep and find the courage to admit her affair to her husband and then send him her for help and guidance.