These are great, fun ideas!!

And I have a three year old, so I am at the library all the time actually! I go at least once a week to get new books and do story time and color time with the beh beh!

Oh, I saw the lovely WHs response to the petition. He is asking for sole physical custody!! Seriously. One cannot make this stuff up.

What a jerk. He's delusional.

It's just to be controlling and throw me off. I know it's not something to be seriously worried about, but he is just downright evil that it's pathetic. My daughter has been in my primary custody for a year. There is no judge in the world who would grant him primary custody.

He also wants to take half my retirement and the savings because he is just that lovely and splendid. He is also trying to put his silly internet provisions in to protect the OW. He has also racked up 10k in debt in the last 8 months we have been separated.

I see now what Dr. Harley says about women truly being done in a relationship. my WH would have to obtain a character transplant to ever have a hope of getting me back. I don't want him back, especially after he has now threatened to take my daughter. Oh and he just happens to be out of state with her right now, so that makes me feel horrible.

He really has turned into the worst person I have ever met.

What address is your WH using?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Hopefully it will not be a long, drawn out process.

He is using an address I have never seen before. He seems to have moved into a new place. I don't know if she moved in with him. But it California it seriously does not matter at all.

Nmwb77,

Did anything ever happen with the internet posting case. WH is trying to get the ones I put up taken down through the custody case.

My ex tried to get them taken down during mediation. I told the mediator it had nothing to do with the divorce because neither her name nor mine were mentioned. We spent 2 hours on that issue, but in the end the posts stayed up. (Of course, I can't take them down anyway, but I didn't tell her that. I stood my ground on principle.)

Your husband is trying to use the custody case? Seems his affair is a good reason he should not get custody.

I agree. The state of California, not so much. Moved in with the mistress? Totally fine to have the kiddos around! If it weren't for the weather and the beach, it would be total rubbish. (But sunshine and beaches do go a looooooong way).

It would be an extreme long shot for him to get custody anyway given that he hasn't asked for it until now and didn't stop me from moving. It seems like a desperate response to the divorce petition because it is. I've been depressed all week because of this, but I really shouldn't be. My lawyer thinks he is delusional.

He is just trying to make me mad and get a reaction. I think he would like me to engage with him. No way.

Yeah, it's definitely a ploy. Just keep doing what you're doing.

Is there any chance, that he will refuse to return her to you?
In all other cases, I think most judges are people like you and I, who want to do the good thing. They have seen many parties blaming each other and being entitled, but in their hearts they want to punish the bad and reward the good.

You just have to give the judge the right arguments and he will gladly reward you with custody.

PW, while his moral fitness should be brought up as a factor you should prepare a list of the 100 other reasons (and you have them) why you should have sole custody (might as well go there if he is) or at least be the custodial parent. A judge is not going to make a decision on adultery alone so don't hammer it to death. CA isn't even a fault state.

Even though no report was filed, you should also mention the time he pushed you into the door and left a bruise. Judges do not like to hear stuff like that. You can even state that you previous lawyer advises you not to file a report if they ask why wasn't it reported. Maybe you have already done so, but you should have a written list of all the reasons you should have sole or primary custody and all the reasons your WH should not. That you have family support where you live is big. WH has been sleeping on people's sofas.

Listen. Hes not asking for anything. His lawyer is asking for money.

Already Done, BR--

And I did file a police report when he pushed me. I just did not press charges (and the DA would not have either). His horrible work schedule, the fact that I have been the primary parent for a year, his vagabond lifestyle now, and of course the big issue that he is asking for all of this NOW, after I filed and not before, will all be listed. I also live in a better area with better schools and she has significant ties here already with family and friends.

He will list that I have epilepsy (controlled with meds) and that I put OW on the internet (cry me a river).

There is a chance, of course, but I doubt it. She is an actual responsibility, which is not something he wants. The reality is that he'll ask for her as image management (see, I FOUGHT for my kid, without actually fighting). If he had wanted custody of her, why didn't he prevent me from leaving? Why didn't HE move when he had the chance? I had her for 5 months when he waffled in and out of the house to conduct his affair. Now I have had her solely for 8 months in Plan B. It's clear I am the more responsible one.

Ah gotcha. I didn't remember the report but woo hoo that you have it.


Yep and you have valid reason to shoot that down. Plus the support network of friends and family, you caring for DD w/o him for the last year, etc. strengthens your argument about your epilepsy not being an issue. He really has nothing going for him

And he still has the chance to move to be close to his daughter but he chooses not to. It's not even like WH has a well paying job which is needed to support his daughter (heck he doesn't even give you CS voluntarily), family, or a house up there. He has none of that. This was one argument I had prepared in my divorce. My exWH claims our children are his priority...then why do you not live closer instead of whining about how much you miss them? Either make it happen or be quiet.

Exactly. He never prevented me from moving, gave the impression that he was going to move and then never did.

He is just doing everything he can to stick it to me because you know, the cheating and deceit aren't enough. Now he needs to threaten to take the person I love the most in the world and be just a big jerk about money ( did I mention he racked up 10k in debt in the last several months!). It is very difficult for me to just not come to the conclusion that he is a horrible person and a train wreck.

I realize that anybody could fall for the temptation of an affair, but the length of this coupled with his absolute resolve to punish me though any means he sees fit is really beyond anything I could have ever imagined.

I has gotten what he wants--freedom from "the great oppressor with her inconvenient demands for fidelity", no need to punch me in the face on the way out of the door.