Yes....but can you explain this part a bit more please. I'm not sure I understand.

"Eliminating exposure targets"

Would it be harmful to let the WH know that I've seen the photo of him and the OW? Or I should say, my sister letting him know. She feels she wants him to know that it was sent to me, that it broke my heart, and that what he is doing is wrong. I know he's not gonna care because it's just one person, but I don't know if it would do more harm than good right now until I do start the exposing process.

My feeling is kind of why should his feelings be spared? Mine certainly weren't. But I'm still afraid of pushing him to far......I know I have to get over that.

Who told you all of this?

You still need to expose to all of the OW family and friends. Until we expose, we never know just who will be a true support in helping to bust up the affair..

People who I thought were in support of our marriage...weren't. And people who I thought did not care...DID support us greatly (and continue to do so).

As for the family members who "don't want to get in the middle"...my experience is that many of those people were waywards themselves. Who-da-thunk.

This woman has an extremely bad reputation around town, and is well known for what she does. Most of my friends know her, and have told me these things. She is not a nice person at all.

Why would you confront your husband about the photo? Be doesn't need to be convinced that he is having sex with another woman.

Your husband is incredibly selfish and uncaring of your feelings right now. Your sister means well but your husband just really doesn't care and won't until the affair is exposed.

Do you speak with the attorney about protecting your assets?
Because he has control of the assets, and has abandoned you for his girlfriend and only given you $250 I am concerned he may start hiding money and other property that hou have lawful rights to.

Good. When you expose post her on www.PlayerBlock.com and warn others about her.

It is a good idea to expose the affair to all the targets listed on my exposure thread. As long as you don't, your WH and the OW are perfectly free to spin the story as they see fit.

I'm still waiting for the call from the lawyer, Jedi. I had gotten two referrals for good lawyers in our area. I spoke with one, and just didn't get a good vibe from her, and I'm waiting on the other one to call back yet.

Jedi.....I'm sure he's been hiding money for a while now. I haven't seen her cashed paycheck come through since last month. He's paying her cash, and taking out lord knows what before depositing into the bank,

I'm having a big conflict with exposure right now. The area this woman is from, and most of her friends are from, is right where our restaurant is located. Many of these people come to our restaurant to spend money. This will effect our business, and the bottom dollar. This is still part my business, in spite of what he says, and it is our only source of income right now. It pays the house payment, and the house bills. I can't feel good about the possible negative effects of that right now.....in spite of what he's spending on her. This has nothing to do with how it effects him.

Honestly, I don't care how it effects his reputation, that he did to himself. He was well respected in the community before this, but I believe he's lost a lot of that. My concern is for the business itself.

You will be competing with her for every penny unless you drive her off. Besides you needn't tell the town, just go for her friends and relatives. No one - besides the adulterers - will really care. You will also be surprised at how supportive people can be.

The biggest threat to your livelihood is a potential sexual harassment lawsuit claimed by this woman. Indeed your husband is paying this woman cash for what? Why take her off payroll? So he can say she is not employed for sex? Does he believe she can't make a claim. Get the facts.


You have to speak with an attorney ASAP both in regards to your finances and a potential harassment claim against the company. Have courage and speak your own truth. You can't operate out of fear.

-Read Melody Lane's exposure plan.
-Work w/us everyday and begin exposure
-Read Surviving an Affair
-Work with an attorney
-In the state your marriage is in due to your husbands affair, you can be easily be gaslighted, thus you need our assistance everyday. Present your questions and concerns here and please follow the guidance. Answer members questions so we can help. Its easy to lose veteran members help and engagement with newbies when newbies don't readily answer questions or make up their own methods or cherry pick the program.

We're all volunteers that have been through hell and back. We have seen what works and have seen the affects of best laid plans from half measures. There is a wide consensus marriage and individual counseling regarding affairs typically makes the situation worse. Case in point, your counselor leading you to enable your husbands affair by being non-judgemental plus taking half the blame for his stupid decision to have an affair. There are no good reasons to abuse one's spouse.

Talk with you attorney about the financial situation and what you can do to protect your assets. Do you officially own the business? It may be, that you will have to file for divorce to be able to prevent your husband from sucking the business dry and spending a lot of money trying to impress OW with his generosity.
Your attorney will be able to tell you what the best way is.

Do not make the mistake of thinking he would never do that. He is not the husband you knew at this point. You can always stop the procedure if you reconcile, but it is easier to reconcile when you still have your retirement funds instead of being broke, because he squandered all your joint money on OW.

If you do not properly expose the affair there is little hope for your marriage.

Yes, I have read the Expisure plan, and everything I could on this webpage about surviving the affair.

Yes, we own the business, via loan of course.

I know that I am not at fault for the affair, I would never take ownership of that.
That was 100% him! All I take ownership of was my faults within the marriage, but the situation he is tangled up in right now is 100x worse than anything we ever had issues with in our marriage.

I found out yesterday that in her last marriage, right after they divorced, she took him to the cleaners basically.

Please, understand I am waiting for contact from the lawyer, I will be calling a 3rd today also, and making appts to go in for a consult. The first lawyer I contacted, I just didn't get a good feeling from her at all. I wasn't comfortable with her. I am working on it.

Ginger, then what is your plan to expose? You don't seem to be answering our questions about exposure.

Monday. I need time to plan.

You waiting til Monday is very very bad. You don't need a lengthy drawn out plan. It needs to be done. They need to be exposed. Period. Sitting on it any longer is going to destroy your marriage.

I have a big job interview I'm preparing for today.

I'm starting to get scared. Two people have now told me since last night that she will take him for everything she can get. I also just found out that they are living in a house not far from our home. She lost her home because of the court case against her mortgage, so I imagine he is paying for it.

I've also been told he does not seem happy, he's quiet, distant, and making poor choices at the restaurant. No one from the restaurant will talk to me about it, except the one waitress who isn't speaking to him. She said the flaunt their relationship, but I have a feeling it's more her than my H. She's very in your face. She wants to be me.....she thinks she has power.

I'm calling the lawyer again in a few min, to schedule a consult.