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Yes, I know it's a public service. It's just hard and it "looks" bad in court that I did it. It sort of makes you look bitter and crazy, especially for a custody case--even if it's justified. People want you to "take the high road" because they have no idea what that really means.
I wouldn't be surprised if SHE posted that there, although it was probably culled. I have no reason to post her anymore. There were already like 3-4 posts up.
One would think she would stop doing this type of thing. But who knows. People with character issues don't really learn from their mistakes.
And honestly, I still feel somewhat bad about posting her (even though I know I shouldn't). She'll live in google hell for a long time.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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I'm not so sure it makes you look bitter and crazy. Unless you do it AFTER the divorce. Then it's vindictive. Maybe I've been hanging around here too long, but I don't see how it can be seen in a negative light when it's done before a divorce.
Remarried 7/16
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Well, custody bureaucrats like to "encourage positive relationships with a new significant other" and other such nonsense. This isn't some woman he met two years after a divorce or anything like that.
Anyway, I am not going to worry about this unless I have to. I checked all the civil courts in which she could have filed a lawsuit or a civil harassment order and didn't find anything.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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She'll live in google hell for a long time. Maybe I'm a sociopath but that's the sort of thing I'd find hilarious. Trouble caused to APs by exposure always cracks me up. I also think of the passage in Proverbs that compares adultery to scooping hot coals into your own lap and expecting not to get burned.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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You aren't a sociopath. I'm just neurotic and am constantly worried about intentionally inflicting harm on others. It took me a while to even put up the cheaterville thing, even when she was literally shoving the affair in my face through social media. But then when she took it down, I went into rage mode and posted her on 5 million different sites. The extent to which I went to post stuff made me feel bad--like I was stooping to her level.
I am getting to the point where I actually don't care what he does anymore, so it hardly seems worth the drama. I just want both of them to be gone and to only have to tangentially think of WH when I get dd ready for his visits.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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I am getting to the point where I actually don't care what he does anymore, so it hardly seems worth the drama. I just want both of them to be gone and to only have to tangentially think of WH when I get dd ready for his visits. I'm still dealing with the legal drama myself, so I know what you mean.
Remarried 7/16
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Sorry NM, I thought your drama was over.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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Divorce is. I'll update with the nitty gritty details once everything's over.
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Yeah. The funny thing is that she could probably save money and time if she just hired one of those "defamation" sites to take them down, since she has not real tort claim. It's just all smoke and mirrors.
The same with me. WH is guaranteed to make this a crazy part of the custody trial, etc., which makes no sense as it has nothing to do with kiddo. I am sure reading his custody declaration will be delightful. Mine just said--husband spent copious amounts of time conducting affair, left me with kid, so kid is better off with me. His will be about how insane he thinks I am (so insane that it was a-ok to leave kid with me for months and months, but now it isn't).
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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I expect it to be over in a few months (and I expect to win). Thank God there are no children involved.
Remarried 7/16
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You know, even if your attorney doesn't practice torts, she/he may be will to write a cease and desist letter.
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I know. For now he doesn't want to because he doesn't think it rises to the level of harassment. Harassment is a criminal charge, not a tort claim. Even her tort attorney is not claiming tort anymore because it is not defamation. He is saying that it is criminal "annoyance." My lawyer said that if she really wanted to do anything or could do anything, she would have done it by now. There is no way to claim that I am a threat to her because I am not. I live 500 miles away from her and haven't contacted her since October and there is no pattern of contact. I simply posted the truth about her on the internet.
My lawyer basically said, " people may think it's in bad taste if they wish, but the truth is protected speech."
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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My lawyer basically said, " people may think it's in bad taste if they wish, but the truth is protected speech." That's why I love my new lawyer. He not only says it's protected speech, but he thinks it was the right thing to do. In fact, when I first consulted with him last year when I was considering changing lawyers (thank God I did), he helped me brainstorm things to do to bust up the affair, and he suggested exposing the affair to the employer. He had never even heard of Marriage Builders! Did I mention he goes to my church? 
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Has a criminal complaint actually been filed or is this her contacting you in some manner about her intention to file a criminal complaint?
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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No criminal complaint has been filed. What she would have to do, I think, first, is get some sort of protective or restraining order. However, a judge would have to grant it and then I would have to violate it for a criminal complaint. For the police to take action directly, there would need to be a direct, credible threat from me over a period of time.
I have never threatened her, nor would I, so that's not an issue. I live 500 miles away from her, so...yeah. There is no threat from me at all. I'd like her to go away of course, but only because it's the right thing to do and it would seriously save her soul.
She should be more afraid if WH, who pushed me against a wall and kicked down a door in his anger, than she is of me.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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My lawyer basically said, " people may think it's in bad taste if they wish, but the truth is protected speech." That's why I love my new lawyer. He not only says it's protected speech, but he thinks it was the right thing to do. In fact, when I first consulted with him last year when I was considering changing lawyers (thank God I did), he helped me brainstorm things to do to bust up the affair, and he suggested exposing the affair to the employer. He had never even heard of Marriage Builders! Did I mention he goes to my church? That's great!
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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Hey PW, Here's my show, which BrainHurts was so gracious to provide the links for: Radio Clip of nmwb77's show Segment #2 Segment #3 It was from July of last year.
Remarried 7/16
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WH didn't pay health insurance for any of us. It has only been two weeks, so I am not sure if it was a mistake or deliberate. Do I:
1) go through IM to make him aware so I can take little PW to the doctor--
2) go through lawyer who takes a week at least to do anything. He's a good lawyer, but takes forever and I need to get this done ASAP.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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Thanks. It was instructive when Dr. H asked what she had to offer and you couldn't come up with anything.
Me: 38, have been divorced for 4 years
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WH didn't pay health insurance for any of us. It has only been two weeks, so I am not sure if it was a mistake or deliberate. Do I:
1) go through IM to make him aware so I can take little PW to the doctor--
2) go through lawyer who takes a week at least to do anything. He's a good lawyer, but takes forever and I need to get this done ASAP. If the little one needs to go to the doctor, I'd say use the IM. If it's not an emergency, though, go through the lawyer (letting him know it's urgent). Make the doctor's appointment for a week later or something like that. On the other hand, if you're paying your lawyer $250 an hour, it may be cheaper just to pay the doctor out of pocket...depending on what the visit is for.
Remarried 7/16
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