Prisca,

I didn't mean to ignore it, I just wasn't ready to respond. I know what I want to say, but need to be sure I say it correctly, and wish to re read a few articles to be SURE I don't misunderstand things. Fair enough?

No

We never lived in the same town.... but yes in the same thee county area, which is several million people, she is several towns over, and I just don't go or need to go anywhere near her town.

Did she ever know your:

* Address
* Phone number
* Email address

If so, have you changed those?

What's stopping her?

Not only is this issue (NC and EPs to avoid contact for life) covered in the articles that you say you have read, but this has been covered repeatedly in your previous threads.

Is there a reason that you are being so vague and forcing us to question you repeatedly in order to get BASIC information regarding ending all contact with this OW??

My word.

You told us in the last thread that you two had to text each other in order to avoid running into each other bc you lived in close proximity and frequently went to the same places. You basically said it was unavoidable unless you texted each other.

Can you explain the discrepancy?

I went back and double checked....you said "places" in one post and then you said one place in another post and added it was a big part of your life that you were unwilling to give up.

Did you change your mind?

Still not sure why we have to wrestle this information out of you.

Yes, yes and yes.

And the final answer, yes and/or blocked.

You are being very vague.

<<<<You told us in the last thread that you two had to text each other in order to avoid running into each other bc you lived in close proximity and frequently went to the same places. You basically said it was unavoidable unless you texted each other.

Can you explain the discrepancy?>>>>

SusieQ,

I have nothing to hide. I just decided that I could avoid EVERYWHERE (singular, plural) we went or she went in the past... a non issue for me. My friends and I have other placed to meet. We (OW and I) went to SEVERAL places together, and I really don't miss any one of them. There was one place that was a bit special, but a non issue. I just decided that it was appropriate to just end it, period. I hope I'm not sounding like I'm misleading you at all.... since I left her, we have never seen, spoke, wrote or crossed paths. There were a few texts, which was easy to just cut off. I'm sure she has another agenda and I'm just not interested. There's very little reason at all that she would "pursue me" for any reason. It's clearly over.

I really hope you see that I'm genuine and trying for help, and have answered all questions to the best of my ability and honestly. I mentioned early on that the OW was a non issue and that was the truth. There's just not a lot of detail, because there's just nothing left.

No discrepancy... the above says it all, but let me know if you need more details. We do NOT live in close proximity, but one of the places is fairly close, but certainly avoidable....

<<<<<<Not only is this issue (NC and EPs to avoid contact for life) covered in the articles that you say you have read, but this has been covered repeatedly in your previous threads.

Is there a reason that you are being so vague and forcing us to question you repeatedly in order to get BASIC information regarding ending all contact with this OW?? >>>>>>

Forgive me but I don't know what EPs mean. Yes, I've read the articles, and it's in place... not sure what you're referring to in "covered in your precious threads"......

I'm open, what am I missing?

Let me know about whatever, and I'll explain. Yes, there's a TON of details that have not been posted, but the meat of it has.

So, you moved? That would be the only way I know to change your address.

Blocked isn't good enough. She could easily reach you from another number or email.

Blocked will work. If she called from another phone, it would not be in my data base and not answered. She does not have my business number and has never called me on it. The only email she has or ever responded to, is my personal email address, which only close friends, like her, my SO, kid, and a few friends have. It was easy to change.

The OW (as you call her), is not an issue, nor was she an issue once the divorce was final. She was not the cause of the divorce, nor did she affect it. She was not a topic of argument or fighting. She was also not an issue in me returning to my SO. When I returned to my SO, the OW was discussed, as other things, and we agreed to put those parts of our life behind us, not to be brought up again. The OW has NO effect on our relationship today... zero. My goal was to completely have her out of my mind (to where she didn't bother me in three months and I'm ahead of schedule.

So, the goal today is to improve the situation with the SO, and enjoy life. We are both stubborn enough and goal oriented enough to make it work... but there's no downside in constantly improving the quality, getting good advice from others, and support from good friends and counseling. We are at that point now, hopefully continuing up hill.

Can you offer anything to improve upon that?

This is what you posted on 5-14.
You now post that you have no contact with her.
I asked you before your previous thread was locked, Is this place where you and OW both go to a bar?

Every unknown number will become a trigger in that case. You aren't serious and it is outrageous that you expect your BW to put up with not knowing which calls will get through rahter than simply CHANGING YOUR NUMBER.

Dr H has done this once or twice you know.

Tell me about why Dr H has had to change his phone number.....No, I didn't know that.

No, but why do you ask? And, I really feel it's inappropriate to bring up a thread that was closed. It was closed for a reason, correct?

Question for all.....

We are looking for additional things to add to our do list... things that will help us grow together.

We have some choices, of looking into simply simple times together... a few hours for a dinner, walk, bike ride, etc., and/or focusing more on things that involve a trip somewhere, overnite, a nice town to visit, or activity to participate in or what ever.

Looking for a good balance on what works well.

Of course the simple stuff we will do more often, but will more emphasis on a trip or two, even a few times a month be more meaningful?

Thoughts?