She's in the fog. The stuff she is saying is straight out of the wayward handbook. You can't go by what she's saying right now. Once the affair ends she will not believe she said these things.

Great job!!!! I have so much more hope for you today than I did the first day you arrived. You have done a wonderful job. Now, all you have to do is stand back while the affair crumbles, making yourself the more attractive option. MAKE SURE that you have caused as much havoc as possible for the OM. One of my concerns is that you have no spoken to his father. That is a critical exposure.

I would also call her father and try to enlist his help. Tell him about your W's plan to replace you with this other woman's husband. Make sure he knows that his daughter has wrecked TWO families for this POS who has no respect for marriage and certainly no respect for your wife.

I would also tell your wife that your child is to never be exposed to her vile affair. The OM is an unfit adult and should never be around your daughter.

MELODYLANE<---------Feeling OPTIMISTIC!

Thank you. I needed something positive. After the high of last night I am about as low as I could be. The scary thing is how methodical and organised she is being. She cant see anything other than her being with him. It's hard. They are painting me as a psycho husband and said her work friends saw me as that.
I know this bast**d pursued her but she sees that as 'getting what he wanted', no guilt displayed whatsoever, her happiness comes first.
Since her depression, all she has read were these self help books, tiny buddah etc, all idealistic clap trap. She is way too intense for her own good. Please tell me there is hope...

The OM is treating his wife like crap, trying to convince her she has mental issues etc to get the kids off her. Also being really nasty, trying to force her to sell house so he can get his cut. Classy guy.

Things look dark because WW is trying to discourage you so you will stop fighting the affair.

You are in good hands here. Do not despair or give up. This is trench warfare.

Affairs are irrational. It will not work out for her. Maybe some people that she's lied to think you're crazy, but most people are more than likely disgusted with her. Even in this day and age the vast majority of people view adultery as morally wrong.

I appreciate what everyone is saying but what more can I do? I cant fight the affair any more than I have done. The OM's father is 73 with heart problems, I don't want to harass him. Apparantly he has said that his son is an 'excuse of a son' after he learned of what happened.

The only trump card I havn't played is that the OM's BW's parents are willing to meet my Father in law and set him straight on the type of guy OM is. He has been treating his wife terribly for months and wont pay child maintenance. It is worth pursuing I suppose, every little helps...

Like ML said earlier, once you're done exposing the affair you just have to wait for it to crumble. Hopefully your WW will be one of the ones that realizes quickly that it isn't going to work for her.

I agree you should not "harass" him, but you HAD BETTER EXPOSE THE AFFAIR TO HIM. Don't even think for a second that you can skip that KEY, CRITICAL exposure. I know some people believe that old people are idiot savants and just useless human beings, but we have had many parents who intervened and saved marriages.

I have told you MANY times to expose to the OM's father and I do not understand why you have not!!! Why would leave an opportunity like that sitting on the table for absolutely no good reason?

I have been spending my valuable time helping you and you just ignore the advice - given many times - to expose to the OM's father? WHY?

A damn 72 year old man has been through many more trials and tribulations than you, so I can't imagine where you got the idea they are too fragile and/or stupid to handle bad news. Do you imagine it will be the first time in his 72 year life he ever got bad news??

Trust me, a 72 yr old can handle bad news much better than you!!

Look how your mom pierced through your wife's fog with her strong remarks. You don't think that made an impact? I assure you it did. So don't forfeit a chance with the OM's father. Expose.

You have done great. You have the inside track. Don't forget that. You are the father of her child. The OM is not even taking care of his own children, let alone that he will want to take on a strange one. As was said earlier in this thread everything that was said and done by you are pebbles thrown into the water. You don't see any change, but in time, the heap of pebbles will break through the surface.

You stayed calm during the conversation and so did she. When she was gone, you could let out your feelings and it will be the same for her. She does have conflict inside, but will never show you of course. A coward like OM is not attractive and he will slip up here and there and things will slowly add up in her head.
Have patience.

It may be a good idea to have the OM's wife tell your parents-in-law what a negligent husband OM is. Parents want someone who will take care of their daughter and he is not even taking care of his own family.

You have done great and have speeded things along. Many people you have exposed to will agree with you, especially people who have been betrayed themselves. You never know who will make an impact in this process and the bonus is, that your wife and OM will forever be the persons who wrecked 2 families.

Thank you all for your kind words. It's hard to see the positives at the minute. My wife also said last night that she doesn't regret leaving me at all and even if it doesn't work out with this guy she wouldn't come back. It's so cruel. All I ever did in life was my very best for my family, I am a dam good father & husband & have done my best to give them both a beautiful home. I know I shouldn't pay any attention to what she says as it's not real or true.

On the OM's father, I will try to phone him again but the OM is still threatening to report me for harassment.
I do know from an ally that his father is disgusted with him and has descried him as 'an excuse of a son'.
They are not answering their door anymore and are very wary of visitors.
My wife asked me what I was going to do to OM had he answered the door- I just said I wanted to look him in the eye & tell him that there would be no happy ever after for him with my wife and tell him exactly what I thought of him. She said she would set up a meeting if I wanted but not to go to his house again. I doubt the yellow bast**d would agree to it but who knows?

Don't you get it? I'll bet this is going to be the last straw for the OM's old man. He will probably throw the bum out when he learns about it. It is precisely this exposure that the OM fears the most. That is why you are experiencing all of this bluster.

It's true. POSOM doesn't want to get in twuble with daddy.

Look up the harassment law in your state, but unless POSOM has power of attorney over his father, he has no standing to claim you're harassing his father. One contact does not harassment make.

EXPOSE TO THE OM's father!!! You have no idea what the father knows or doesn't know. Let the OM "report" you for harassment. You can report him for harassment for having an affair with your wife! Let him explain that to the police.

Now, go expose to the OM's father, and don't stop until you have done it!!

Also, considering you have not even made contact with the OM, I don't see how he can possibly get you for harassment. My ex's AP apparently reported me to the police multiple times, but I never heard anything from the police.

Contacting the OM's father has nothing to do with "harassing the OM." Actually, he is harassing you by having an affair with your wife.