Thank you, I know this sounds unbelievable but for some reason I cannot think of things like that to say. I don't know why, but thanks for the suggestions. I hope I can learn that way of communicating. I think he was upset because I was walking too fast for him, but he didn't say anything so I didn't know.

Those are key phrases in the program:
"It bothers me when ..."
"It would mean a lot to me if ..."
"I would love it if ..."

It's because he has you walking on eggshells, got you constantly second guessing what you are doing wrong.

Even without the crazy stories of where he's been, and very inexplicably walking away (to use his phone no doubt) his behaviour screams affair. Dont you remember the signs?

Plans UA time, but never follows through.
Uses any counselling to create arguments.
Attached to phone night and day.
Makes you feel powerless and unimportant on big decisions.
Is contemptuous about your emotional needs.
Acts like your presence is a nuisance because they are constantly twitching for 'alone time' to contact OP.
Highly unbelievable stories - they don't even care if you swallow it.

Respond to baiting without love busting and snoop for dear life.

There is hope. His moodiness and exhaustion are not the side effects of a happy lothario, but a typically lost and fogged out man with a conscience that his hurting. Find out why before he hardens more against you.

It's not your fault. Find the external cause and kill it.

Stop wondering what YOU are doing wrong when all you want is time and attention.

Looking at his phone will uncover exactly nothing. Any affair communication would be deleted as a matter of course. The fact you've found out he does hide things from you shows a need to be much more wide awake.

GPS on his car (to prevent another call around to the hospitals)
Spyware on phone.
PI.

Do it.

I would like your thoughts on this:
We are homeless right now and living in a trailer. My husband's Mom is dying of cancer and has less than a year to live. My husband hit my car and the bumper was hanging off. I am a realtor so I can't drive around in a car with the bumper hanging off. At first he said he would ask his Mom for money to get it fixed, but I didn't feel good about it, so I got financing for the repair. My husband agreed that we wouldn't take the money. Behind my back he talked with his mom and had her send a check. I told him I don't want to cash the check and he is disagreeing and said he wants to deposit into saving because we need the money. What should I do? I feel like I can't trust him.

Knowing what you know, or should know by now, about Marriage Builders and the Policy of joint Agreement, what do you think you should do?

My husband and I have been doing marriage builders. I bring up doing the program about 2/3 times and he about 1/3. We had been going pretty good and not having too many problems. He has a problem with anger and hating woman. The other day he said he couldn't live without me and thought I was the most beautiful woman in the world and then the next morning was mad at me. He called me a "[censored]" which I had to look up because I never heard that before. He said he had a sex dream about me the night before and was frustrated. By the evening the next day I was tired of him ignoring me and being mad at me, so I asked if we could talk for a couple of minutes and he kept saying 'leave me alone". I kept trying to work it out so that we wouldn't go to bed angry. He got mad at me called me that name, squirted a water bottle at me and threw something small in my direction. He was scaring me so I went to a hotel for the night. He threatened me that I had better not spend our money on a hotel, I did anyway. I took my rings off and don't want to be around him or talk to him anymore. Any ideas?

My husband has a hard time sharing his feelings and by using a 3 minute timeframe for each of us to talk, I found out he is upset about not having sex (I would not because he says he is going to leave me often, flips me off and calls me cuss words, etc. He doesn't get it that any woman would not have sex with a man when he does those things. )
And he is also upset that we are with my family for Christmas again and not his. I asked him a while ago if he wanted to see his Mom and he said "No we just saw her" I asked him a while ago if he wanted to go to Colorado to see his son and he said" No they are coming here in January"
He gets frustrated, doesn't share his thoughts and feelings with me and then takes his frustration out on me! Ugh. At least now I understand what is behind all this anger. Should not be directed at me though!
Any ideas or articles about how to get my husband more in touch with his thoughts and feelings and then sharing them with me?

Have you seen this?
What to do with an Angry Husband

He needs to get into anger management and you need to plan to separate from him.

When you say you're doing MB are you doing the materials yourself?

Threads merged. Please stick to one thread.

I see from your original thread you were advised to snoop. Whatever happened with that?

You need to stop making excuses for this behavior. Your husband is sharing his feelings with you. He is doing it by abusing you. Until he learns to behave differently, you will continue to be at risk.

Don't focus on the rationalizations offered for your husband's anger. Focus rather on the anger itself. That is what needs to be controlled. Until he learns how to deal with frustration, he is dangerous to be around. Frustration is present in everybody's life. Nothing excuses his behavior.