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Joined: Jan 2010
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you need to ask her who has been cussing in the past few weeks We'll gladly help you fix your mistakes and her fix her mistakes and then together you can both solve your marital problems.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Aug 2014
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Sir - I encourage you to remove yourself from your family home before you harm your family. Could you stay with your parents or in-laws for a while?
I also encourage you to email Dr. Harley. He has helped many men learn to protect their families from their anger. He can help you too. His goal is to safely restore marriages whenever possible.
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
So, you did it again. I've been there.
Dr. Harley told you to stop it.
You've got to stop it.
Your marital problems are not going to get better until you learn to control yourself. Your wife and child are in danger until you learn to control yourself.
You can learn to control yourself, and this website teaches how.
And you've got to learn to control yourself NO MATTER THE COST.
Got to do this, JBTK12.
"Stop it," said Dr. Harley. "You know that by doing this you are wrecking your relationship with your wife."
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,209
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Coach-
If I remember correctly, you told Dr. Harley that stopping it is easier said than done.
Right now, when something makes you frustrated or nervous, you feel a rush of adrenaline which causes temporary insanity. Do you see how that was true last night? You feel cornered right now with your wife bringing this out into the open and with the forum giving her advice that causes you to feel uncomfortable.
So what you have to learn is how to
1. Recognize when you start to feel the adrenaline surge.
2. Remove yourself from the situation.
3. Calm your body until the adrenaline dissipates.
After you get very skilled with Step 3, you wont need Step 2. This process of changing your brain-nervous system response will take time and practice. Anger Management class can hep you learn how to control this auto-response which is destructive and threatening to your wife.
Please know that many of us have had to learn this. I have had to work on this myself. I developed the anger habit as a response to the frustrating problems in my own marriage, and it served to complicate matters instead of protect me. This forum is a goldmine for you and will hold your wife accountable also. But you NEED to learn to stay calm regardless of what your wife says or does.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,460 Likes: 4
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FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Depression
by ClarencePeterson - 09/22/24 11:19 AM
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