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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
I though this site was pro marriage There's a huge difference between being "pro marriage" and knowing how to save marriages.
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Miss, I don't know how versed you are in finances, but would you like to pay for a house you are not living in? She will not be able to get it financed into her name for quite some time as she is unemployed and even if she were employed, would not be able to secure the credit to refinance. And mortgage companies do not have to abide by a divorce court's ruling, they will go after whomever's name is on the mortgage. You don't stay married to someone just because you have a house in your name. That is a ludicrous reason to stay married. People who own houses get divorced every day.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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I have been through counseling ma'am! And did you know your SO was a cheater prior to marriage? Of course not, but that is not the point. The point is what you know now. My suggestion would be to find a good male counselor who can help you learn to make better decisions. Trying to save a short 2 yr marriage with multiple affairs is not sound judgement. You have very little invested at this point. The longer you are married, the more damage you incur.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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] She will not be able to get it financed into her name for quite some time as she is unemployed and even if she were employed, would not be able to secure the credit to refinance. This is an adult woman who can figure out her future on her own. You are not her poppa.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
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Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10 |
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 9
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OP
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Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 9 |
Am assuming you mean I am in denial?
Her: 2ndM ME: 3rdM Blended family with 2 @ home and 1 visiting
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Can you make sure she's with you 24/7?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,476 Likes: 5 |
Did you read through this and listen to the radio clips?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 9,549 Likes: 10
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Joined: Sep 2008
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Am assuming you mean I am in denial? I'm answering the question posed in your thread title. What puzzles me is that clearly, you see that you might be in denial, and yet you resent the advice from people here to face the fact that your wife is a serial cheat who never went into this marriage intending to be faithful. In your first post you ask "Or do I need to just run like hell!?" - showing that you recognise that the marriage is probably doomed - yet when people tell you that indeed it is, you are angry with them. You listed a string of affairs that your wife has had, including during her first marriage, and you show that she has been physically abused by another men during your marriage, and has had several affairs with men she picked up off the Internet, and is addicted to male attention, yet you snap at people who tell you to run like hell - which is the suggestion that you your self made! What answer are you hoping we would give you? And do you think it is unreasonable, given all the details you provided, for me to answer your question "Denial or what?" with "Denial"?
BW
Married 1989
His PA 2003-2006
2 kids.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 7,449
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This is a good example of what happens when a BS becomes so caught up in their emotions (wanting to stay married) that logic and reason goes out the window.... 
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