Half an exposure is a weak exposure.

I refuse to tear that bandaid off. It hurts.

Regardless of how much pus is growing under it.

In my experience, this will cause MORE resentment for her than if you just expose.

Dr. Harley advises against having the wayward expose herself.

Just rip the bandaid off and be done with it.

To be clear, you didnt cause the damage!!!! DO NOT take the blame for telling the truth.

I understand your feeling of being done fighting, but one of the main tennants of exposure is to be broad and deep with exposure and hitting any place that is a soft spot to crush the affair. Particular focus on the the other person spouse and family can be devastating to the affair.

Exposure is your job, not hers. You don't talk about it, just act.

You exposing: therapeutic for both of you and recommended by Dr. Harley, who is a therapist.

Making her expose herself: demanding; forcing her to DO something painful and embarrassing; feels punitive (like a father and a child); hard to get over.

I'm just loosing faith that its going to do any good. She's a serial cheater. The life I'd have to live with her from now on is to much for me to endure right now. I come from a divorce family, with an alcoholic father.

Marrying her was an escape from that. Our first few years were magical and her family was the best. Its all been downhill from there and I dont want to live the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. I may expose more to her friends later tonight but I'm emotionally drained.

Hey MichLove4,
Sounds like you might have married Ex-Mrs WalktheWalk, or at least her twin sister. It also sounds like you are making a lot of the same mistakes I did. I didn't expose big enough, I figured that when she came clean about one POSOM, that was it, not that she threw one under the bus because she was grooming another coworker to be her next POSOM.

Please listen to the posters here, don't make the strategic and tactical mistakes I made. I sense that you are well-intentioned, but see you ending up failing if you don't start executing the program.

Make a plan with the help you find here,execute that plan. You will have a far higher chance of success. The path to success is much narrower when dealing with a serial cheater.

Be prepared for nastiness and anger from her and possibly the in-laws.
You only did partial exposure, so you have given the other parties a chance to rally, re-align stories, spin you as a lunatic, etc.

Well just fired off my last message to all her close friends and copied her on it. This should be a fun weekend to be around her.

Not sure if this is the place for this but up until I found out about her multiple affairs I was using my amateur physco-analytical skulls to figure her out. Now that I've exposed her I started to realize that she's always gone after unavailable me

1) She drove 6hrs to visit him
2) Was I think going through a divorce or was separated at the time
3) Co-worker that is leaving in January
4) Some random dude that she met in New Orleans and lives in TN or KY

She has major issues with her Dad. Mom and Dad were "happily married" but come to find out that Mom is unhappy but stuck it out foe the kids and Dad is distant (always working in the barn) and never validated her feelings and wants. Gets upset and angry when he doesn't get his way, even though the rest of the family wants to do something else

This is so her:

Constantly craving and searching for a romantic relationship

When in a relationship, being desperate to please and fearful of the other�s unhappiness

Inability to maintain an intimate relationship once the newness and excitement have worn off

Choosing partners who are emotionally unavailable and/or verbally or physically abusive

Choosing partners who demand a great deal of attention and caretaking but who do not meet, or even try to meet, your emotional or physical needs

Using sex, seduction, and manipulation (guilt/shame) to �hook� or hold on to a partner

Kaaaaaboooooommmmmmm

If exposure was the goal today that was a direct hit! She is absolutely pissed at me. More fallout tomorrow as she doesn't know that I told her parents. Found a txt from her Mom and they'll be talking tommorrow.

The greater the anger the more devastating the exposure was to the affair and behaviors.

Work was her hidding place to carry out her second life and that came all crashing down today

This. Have you exposed to all of the above? Under 3, children don't really understand. From age 7, you must expose to children. Your daughter is in between. If your 4yo daughter can understand it is wrong for mommy to have a boyfriend, you should tell her.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_exposed.html
https://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8112_lesson.html

Yeah I hit all those. Her second affair was a coworker at the same place as the third. Now that her supervisors are aware of her problem I'm tempted to send a follow up email stating the current affair is not the first and this is an ongoing issue for her. Thoughts?

I'll take a look and gage if my daughter needs to know or can comprehend

Good idea!

How old is she?

Turns 4 January 11th.

I am sure that child is too young to understand, wouldn't you agree? Some 4 year olds can get it, but I think it is stretch for a 3 yr old.

Have you done all of your other exposures? I was skimming through your thread and read that you were hesitant to expose and felt it was damaging. Exposure is the most therapeutic thing you can do for your marriage. I just want to make sure you know this and have done a thorough exposure.