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Got nothing to report - its her house.
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Could OM fake an email from the company to get you to back off?
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Could OM fake an email from the company to get you to back off? What do you mean?
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I think it's called setting up a spoof account. Since it came from OM's area, just putting it out there.
Did anything come from WW's office?
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Got nothing to report - its her house. Did you call to at least see? You two are separated, she is not living there...you have lawyers and she broke in and messed the place up. I would file a report if they will take one.
Last edited by SusieQ; 12/04/15 03:53 PM.
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Had a cousin of OM reach out to me from exposure. He just sent me a picture of a screenshot of my divorce case which is publicly on my county's court website. He said "Stop sending my family your bullsh**. You come off as a psychopath"I told him "Tell your cousin to stop having an affair with my wife... He comes off as someone with zero morals" He responded with "You don't know my family, so please leave them out of this. Relationships fail. Everything will get better over time. It might hurt today,but look towards the future, no need to live in the past. If she doesn't want to be with you that is her choice. I know it sucks because I've lived it. Please stop sending every family member you find on facebook the same message"I closed the conversation with "I am sorry you felt your best move was to give up on your wife/girlfriend and accept your failed relationship, I am not someone who is just going to silently allow my wife to continue this affair. Like I mentioned previously, we were very much in love not that long ago. Quit playing "damage control" for OM and stand up for some decent character and ask him to end the affair instead. If I realize at a larger date I would like advise as to how to "give up" or quit on my wife, I will be sure to take you up on that phone call as you seem to know first hand...since we are sharing legal papers I'll be sure to let you be the first one to read OM's answers to my 1st set of interrogatories and the transcripts from his deposition. Lastly, you don't know my family either - so ask OM to get out of it." I think I handled it well, this is just the highlights. I brought up that we are not divorced, the case is just started. I detailed that I am declining that we are "incompatible." It appears the OM is in defensive mode. I hope I am adding fuel to his flame and eventually he will slip up with my wife. I have come a long way. This kind of conversation would have really had me rattled a few weeks ago. You guys have prepared me in a way that helps me deal with this. It felt natural and I was able to quickly reply and I did not lose any sleep over it. I am posting this because I wanted you all to get some good reading material  Great response, WC. APs and people who act as enablers of APs are usually waywards themselves or otherwise not very knowledgeable as to how successful marriages work. This is a very typical response from these types of losers and you handled it excellently. I'd echo the others who have encouraged you to focus on your own well-being. Your wife may eventually come around but the path she's put herself on really takes her out of the equation for the time being. You can start building on your own future right now and if she decides to join you, you are prepared with the right game plan (MB) to make that an awesome future for the both of you. But if not, you don't have to wait for the dust here to settle. Positive changes build positive momentum and positive momentum will carry you through this and ensure that you come out of this stronger and smarter than you were before. The emotional fallout may be less intense and more sporadic than it was a few months ago but it's not going to disappear for a while. Having that positive momentum and changes to look back upon will disarm it when it creeps up on you in the coming months, no matter what happens here. Keep up the good work.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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We talked about getting together a schedule that makes me into an attractive man. WC, I hope you can turn your focus to what is good and right for you, and not so much about being an attractive man for the sole goal of winning you wife back. You will naturally be an attractive guy by doing things that create a good life for you and that take good care of you mentally, spiritually, and physically. Your wife may decide to never give you a second look again (sorry), no matter how attractive you make yourself. But you will gradually come out of this dark time happy and healthy and ready to have a great life regardless because of doing what is good for you right now. But if your focus is all about being attractive to get her back, then what happens if she doesn't come back? You crash and burn? Please remember, that you didn't lose your wife because you were unattractive. She chose to step out of her marriage because of her boundaries, which were already loose before this current affair. Yes, there are things that you should do differently if you recover your marriage; but remember that you were practically newlyweds and your wife was already seeking out attention from other guys (plural intended). You are very lucky to have SMB and HPB in your corner.
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I agree with Ax. You're doing great.
Remarried 7/16
Thanks MB!
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We talked about getting together a schedule that makes me into an attractive man. WC, I hope you can turn your focus to what is good and right for you, and not so much about being an attractive man for the sole goal of winning you wife back. You will naturally be an attractive guy by doing things that create a good life for you and that take good care of you mentally, spiritually, and physically. Your wife may decide to never give you a second look again (sorry), no matter how attractive you make yourself. But you will gradually come out of this dark time happy and healthy and ready to have a great life regardless because of doing what is good for you right now. But if your focus is all about being attractive to get her back, then what happens if she doesn't come back? You crash and burn? Please remember, that you didn't lose your wife because you were unattractive. She chose to step out of her marriage because of her boundaries, which were already loose before this current affair. Yes, there are things that you should do differently if you recover your marriage; but remember that you were practically newlyweds and your wife was already seeking out attention from other guys (plural intended). You are very lucky to have SMB and HPB in your corner. Ironically my wife is SMB and HPB's cousin ... So if I never knew my wife - its possible I wouldn't have their support here when my wife went wayward... Really funny God.  lol.
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I called the police. Officer came out and said I can't file anything because we are married. However, there is an official record of the break in. The cop informed me of a funny thing - she was at the police station today asking for harassment charges against me on the grounds that I am "emailing people at her work." I told the offic[u][/u]er that its legal and I am very much against adultery. He said right now (the copies of the emails she provided) are pretty harmless but he said I should "stop doing that, she made her decision...it doesn't affect your religion, it makes you look bad, I am just advising you so you don't face civil litigations...blah" HOWEVER so I tried to innocently pry out which emails she was providing. Hoping it was a particular one I started talking about it, I said "I talked to an HR manager not to long ago, roughly two days...He said I should only contact him, which I've done." He said, "Ah yah that was one, I saw what the HR rep sent you and your response." WHICH means she saw my response. I can only imagine the conversations they are having...
Last edited by WrestlerChemist; 12/04/15 05:41 PM.
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It's very strange to me that she had a copy of HR manager's email.
Makes me wonder if OM works in IT at this company, if said manager is aware that their subordinates have copies of their correspondence with you, and why they would provide that to your WW.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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It's very strange to me that she had a copy of HR manager's email.
Makes me wonder if OM works in IT at this company, if said manager is aware that their subordinates have copies of their correspondence with you, and why they would provide that to your WW. I bcc'd OM on my HR emails. He doesn't know that the HR knows OM has the emails in his inbox. However, it is hilarious that OM sent it to her. I know exactly everything about the OMs job position he is not in IT.
Last edited by WrestlerChemist; 12/04/15 06:24 PM.
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So, back to exhausted. What an adrenaline rush today was. I am going to send her an extremely brief Happy birthday email tomorrow. Nothing that could be misconstrued as harassing. I am going to lay low for a little while, next activity is going to be get her a Christmas present - which will not be easy (I do not know this person anymore). Call me crazy, but I still love her somehow after all this... I guess until she approaches me or something like today happens again, I am going to use this thread to vent about how I feel about her occasionally and ask advice about schedules...
So, what does a normal morning look like for you guys? I started Google searching "successful daily routines." I started making some checklists (remember I am checklist oriented). I intend to have something concrete to start on Monday...
Really I am trying to put a ton of specificity into the morning routine, since most of the day will be WORK.
I don't know, just brainstorming and I am interested in what you guys do or have found success with.
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Your emails have hit adultery land hard, you are doing nothing wrong, so don't listen to mr. ignorant police officer. (what does he know about civil suits, and giving you "legal" advice is above his pay grade).
Keep up the pressure on the workplace, consult an attorney about the workplace (a well written letter from your attorney could spark them to say, OM/WW are not worth it)
She has officially moved out, that is a legal lever you can use in the future if needed.
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Your emails have hit adultery land hard, you are doing nothing wrong, so don't listen to mr. ignorant police officer. (what does he know about civil suits, and giving you "legal" advice is above his pay grade).
Keep up the pressure on the workplace, consult an attorney about the workplace (a well written letter from your attorney could spark them to say, OM/WW are not worth it)
She has officially moved out, that is a legal lever you can use in the future if needed. I can't really afford having the attorney do any extra work. Ohio does not have any AoA laws so it may not even be worth it. You are right about one thing though... I hit adultery land hard. As hard as I could, and I need to be content with that. I'm in for a long December. Happy birthday mrs. Wrestler Chemist 
Last edited by WrestlerChemist; 12/05/15 01:17 PM.
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So, back to exhausted. What an adrenaline rush today was. I am going to send her an extremely brief Happy birthday email tomorrow. Nothing that could be misconstrued as harassing. I am going to lay low for a little while, next activity is going to be get her a Christmas present - which will not be easy (I do not know this person anymore). Call me crazy, but I still love her somehow after all this... I guess until she approaches me or something like today happens again, I am going to use this thread to vent about how I feel about her occasionally and ask advice about schedules...
So, what does a normal morning look like for you guys? I started Google searching "successful daily routines." I started making some checklists (remember I am checklist oriented). I intend to have something concrete to start on Monday...
Really I am trying to put a ton of specificity into the morning routine, since most of the day will be WORK.
I don't know, just brainstorming and I am interested in what you guys do or have found success with. Christmas gift sounds like a good idea. I start my days with a daily Bible reading/devo time 6:00-6:45 AM. Then I go to my gym and spend about an hour lifting weights M-F 7-8 AM. I have some flexibility at my work with regards to when I show up, so it's usually between 8:30-9 AM. Spiritual growth/discipline and physical fitness is important to me so that morning routine has been very helpful to me. What are some goals you've set for yourself that you can work on? You'd want to (if possible) structure your morning around those.
Happily remarried to wonderful woman who I found using the guidelines in "Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders" 2 baby boys, working on #3 and couldn't ask for anything more. When my ex's affair happened: BH 28, Ex-WW:29 Married: 7 years Together: 8 years D-day: 10/5/2014 D filed: 1/22/2015 D Final: 6/4/2015 My story
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I have a long commute from 5-6am. I Use the time to pray, listen to audible books including my current Bible section, and to call family. From 6-7, put out fires. From 7-8, I like to read a current article to keep up in my field while I eat breakfast at work.
Until recently, I started days off with a cup of coffee, bible reading, then walking the dog. Then other reading and household stuff.
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Ohio does NOT recognize AoA lawsuits....from as far back as when I was in law school there in the previous millenia.
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Ohio does NOT recognize AoA lawsuits....from as far back as when I was in law school there in the previous millenia. I know. That's why I am not getting my attorney involved against the company. 1) cant afford 2) nothing to go on really 3) see #1 I was looking at AoA law in general and just had the thought that even if OHIO recognized them, I probably still could not afford going through with it. Thanks Brits for the confirmation though on AoA in OH. I start my days with a daily Bible reading/devo time 6:00-6:45 AM. Then I go to my gym and spend about an hour lifting weights M-F 7-8 AM. I have some flexibility at my work with regards to when I show up, so it's usually between 8:30-9 AM.
Spiritual growth/discipline and physical fitness is important to me so that morning routine has been very helpful to me.
What are some goals you've set for yourself that you can work on? You'd want to (if possible) structure your morning around those. I have a long commute from 5-6am. I Use the time to pray, listen to audible books including my current Bible section, and to call family. From 6-7, put out fires. From 7-8, I like to read a current article to keep up in my field while I eat breakfast at work.
Until recently, I started days off with a cup of coffee, bible reading, then walking the dog. Then other reading and household stuff. Based on what you guys have here, and what I had come up with on my own first - I refined my morning to look like this: Wake up 645am, Workout until 730am, Shower, Breakfast and Bible reading at 750, Depart for work at 815 and arrive and start work at 830am. My evening has been made to look like this: Take dogs for a walk 815pm, Make a list of tasks needing completed the next day 845pm, Journal or Reading a Book 9pm, Silence & Prayer 945pm, Go to sleep 10pm. I guess my goals are to be physically healthy - I might look into some 5k runs - maybe someday I try a half marathon? I just want to be proud of how I look. Obviously my biggest goal is to remain as spiritually active as I am due to this circumstance even when the circumstances change. I also want to find my niche in the church body. I will have to ask about volunteer activities before I find what God is calling me to do.
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