Originally Posted by indiegirl
It sounds like you are not planning to do exposure, in which case your husband will be enabled and trapped in this addiction and any marriage recovery attempt completely futile. It also sends the message he is irredeemable and unable to face the music or make amends publicly. Is he?
I so hope that you are still reading here. I am not on here a bunch these days, but I have kept checking back each day and felt sad when I didn't see a post from you.

I quoted a part of indie's excellent post to point out that when we, the BS, but also the person who the WS still DOES want to call "home", dares to raise the bar high for our spouse, in many cases they CAN meet and exceed that expectation! Many of our (former)WS's have actually ended up thanking us for yanking them back to reality!

Not sure if you realize, but you can click on any poster's ID and then click "view posts", and then go to their first post here on this board. You can read the "beginning" threads from any of us and see that many of us were just like you, and didn't want to "embarrass" our spouse further.

And in some of our cases (mine included), you can take a bit of a shortcut and have a read here: Voices of Experience (false recovery)

DDays - six months of them
THANK YOU God and Marriage Builders.
We never knew that it could be this good! smile