Appreciate the folks on this site have been witnessing the betrayal drama in all its forms. It starts to become pretty consistent and predictable. It's a stage drama.
It's common for the betrayed to have been blind as you displayed when you first posted. Your husband relied upon your blindness to keep up his affair. He also used other tactics to distract.

Then you came here and you started to wake up and see. You began the exposure in order to open up the eyes of others surrounding and to help yourself get support while the lights were shining in your husband direction.

You only got partially through the exposure. Your husband realized what you are doing and is now heaping on you the moral responsibility for the OW children's welfare.

Know his trajectory has not changed. Don't become blind all over again. He has not entered into a recovery plan with you. You have made a deal with a devil to stay MUM at a weak moment.

Finish the entire exposure without his approval. Then send along a letter mapping out a recovery plan.

It's hard for them to stop talking at all. They work together. I've told my H that he needs to start looking for a new job and also not be in any of the projects she's leading. What's more hard is that here in Sweden we can't just quit, our period of notice is 3 months -_-

And this is why I should have talked to the OWH about it.

How do we handle the period of notice? He can't transfer to another office, this is the only one, and he's one of the best at his office, so they wont let him go earlier. He refuse to speak to his boss since he's a bit of a jerk.

This is still an issue even if I tell the OWH.


Also, I want to explain why I need to stand by my promise. This weekend we have been totally honest which is one of the reasons why we are here, and I confessed to have kissed another man 1 year into our relationship. It was "just" a kiss and I felt terrible afterwards but I never had the guts to tell him about it (haven't seen that man since then). I just made sure it never happened again, which it never did, with anyone. We are trying to move forward, him with knowing about that kiss, and me knowing about that affair.

What you can do - after you have exposed to OWH and all her family and friends - is visit his employer and tell them about the affair. Your H can put in his notice immediately. The employer may let him go sooner because of his unprofessional workplace conduct.



Like I said, that is a foolish "promise" that should not be kept. You need to get to work and finish exposing this affair. Don't be an enabler.

You have a longshot chance to save this marriage and that chance is entirely dependent upon busting up this affair. Your ONLY chance at doing that is exposing the affair and doing it QUICKLY. You have a small window of opportunity to make that move before the affairees start spreading stories about you. When that happens, your opportunity is gone because people won't believe you.

This whole thread has been very frustrating because it is obvious you have very little discernment when it comes to your own situation. We have tried to tell you since day 1 what was really happening and you didn't believe us. For your own sake, please put aside your own failed ideas and start listening.

Making a "promise" to help your husband cover up his affair is like driving the alcoholic to the bar. Why in the world would you enable the affair? Whose side are you on?

This is your first rodeo.

This forum has helped so many to ride their rodeo, please follow the advice. You don't know the bull. Melody does. She knows the next moves he will make and what you should do NOW in order to have a chance.

Unless you expose to OWH and their employer then this is what you're heading for.

False Recovery-Need Voices of experience