Exposure is starting to work. Let time do it's work. Also see a lawyer about custody and kids missing school.

Do whatever you legally can to protect your kids and your access to them. Surely someone knows where they are. I don't know the laws where you are, but here there are truancy laws that I believe could be applied to a parent who is not sending their kids to school.

WS often do crazy stuff after exposure. It is too bad you were not more on guard, but they are hard to predict.

UPDATE:
I think my wife has been destroyed by the exposure and is not rational.
I still don't know where she is with our girls.
Our girls have now missed 2 days of school.
Here in Australia I don't have many options in this current situation, though ultimate would be a Court Order which still takes time, best option for now is to try for neutral ground negotiations which I'm doing.
Mother of my wife is now here (drove from interstate) to start negotiating with her.
Lets see what next couple days bring.


BTW, I've forgotten the codes, WS, etc?
Is there a link for the codes?
THX

Here:

Abbreviations

Have you seen an attorney?

UPDATE
Wife phoned just name, chatted for an hour.

Everything is my fault, her version of past days events is different, she asks why did I tell people about the affair, says I'm controlling, etc, etc, etc.

I'm trying to negotiate something fair in relation to our 2 girls, where they stay, how we do easter, etc, etc.

Do I tell her why I exposed her affair?
(even if I do I doubt she will understand)

Other advice please?

I can't understand why you're focusing on your wife's reaction to exposure. You know that exposure was the right thing to do. She will not understand while she is in her affair. Why is this the issue that you focus on every time you post here?

What are you doing to get your girls back living in their home? What legal steps are you taking to enforce your rights as a father, and their rights to be with their father, in their home?

I have spoken with various people's and I'm doing all I can to get our girls back to living at their home and getting life back to normal for them, my wife is making this difficult even though she thinks I'm making it difficult.

My wife wants money from me so she can move away, etc, etc, but its not that simple..... By her wanting to move out, she has placed herself in a very difficult monetary position which makes it difficult to move out and she is now blaming me. Its not my fault, she wants to go, she even acknowledged days ago that she would be in financial hardship.

I have suggested that our girls and my wife come back to the home along with my wife's mother so that my wife feels safe and she is thinking about this.

I'm writing her an email/txt saying that I love her, its important we show strength for our kids, etc, all other issues can be sorted out over time, etc.

Though I expect that she will just come back asking why I exposed her, blaming me, etc.

If someone could advise on the emphasis going forward and what do I say when she continues to ask why I told people about the affair.

What "various people" have you spoken to? Have you spoken to anybody with the power to make your wife bring your kids home? Have you spoken to a lawyer to get an emergency hearing before a judge?

Where are the kids living? How do you know they are safe?

Has your wife been going to work this week?

What is her employer doing about this workplace affair?

What does she feel unsafe about?

How would having her mother move in make her feel safe?

My mother in law says the kids are safe.

My wife on the phone said the kids are safe.

My wife has NOT gone to work this week (probably blaming me). I have no idea what her employer has done, the employer cannot sack them but may have voiced their disappointment, etc, etc.

My kids have not gone to school this week.

Legal avenue's are slow here in Australia and even then the parties have to show they are making an attempt to resolve matters.

She claims to feel unsafe because of a slightly heated conversation Saturday afternoon, but she is pissed that as she has no car, little money, etc which makes it very difficult for her with the kids, so she is saying I'm making everything worse and not doing everything to protect the kids.

By having the mother in law here, means I might get the kids back her which is best for them.... I'm not sure if this is a great idea, however its an idea to get the kids back to their usual home.

Dr Harley talks about telling the kids the truth and telling kids 7+yo the truth, my wife would go just ape [censored] at any suggestion of telling our 10yo my wife had an affair.

It is extremely important that you tell the kids. Their welfare is more important than her desire to cover up her affair. It is in their best interest to get the facts about their lives. If you don't tell them the truth, she will be free to tell them lies.....about you.

Your wife is not supposed to like the fact that you tell your kids. You are talking as if your wife is some sort of exception, while everybody else's wife loves the idea. Don't you think Dr Harley knows the unfaithful spouse will be upset at exposure, but he advises it anyway? Have you any idea why he advises it? Have your read any of the free materials posted by him, about affairs, on this site?

So, you have not told you kids. Who have you told? Who exactly were the "some others including family" that you told on Saturday?

How did you inform their employer? Did you write a letter? Did you send an email? To whom was the communication addressed? What exactly did you write? Please copy the letter here.

How do you know that their employer cannot sack them? Employers can discipline workers for breaches of their contract, for unprofessional behaviour, and for sexual harassment. Do you know of a clause in their employment contracts that says they cannot be disciplined?

Have you had any response from the employers to your communication, and if so, what did it say?

I can't believed how laid back you are being about this. You are trembling in fear at your wife's upset about being exposed, and doing nothing to get this affair dealt with at the workplace, and to bring your kids home quickly.

You have no idea what the employer has done because you have not followed up with them, and - be honest: you have no idea what your legal rights are, and how to go about getting a court order to get your kids back, because you have not taken proper legal advice.

You're taking this less seriously than I am.

Please describe this "slightly heated conversation".

I thought you gave her your credit card to go shopping? What happened to the credit card?

What does she mean that you are "not doing everything to protect the kids"? What does she want you to do?

SugarCane;

I have and am taken legal advice. Her employer did say she cannot be sacked by this event. She returned the credit card saying I can have it back she didn't want it.

It seems she wants the cake and eat it in the short term at least, she's said either (1) she moves out, with the kids, whom I can visit, and I effectively help pay for setting this up as we are separated, or (2) I move out and she stays in our home with the kids whom I can visit, and I effectively still keep paying for her/kids as we are separated.

So in effect she is using money vs kids against me, but the fact remains that once we are separated that she needs to pay her own expenses which she basically cannot afford to do. I'm getting further advice on this later today.

In relation to 'not doing everything to protect the kids' she is blaming my actions such as 'exposure' and maybe our 'loud conversation' (where I said she lied, she said she didn't have sex, I said give the rings back for safety of them) as being actions to not protecting the kids.

When did the employer say this to you, and how did they say it? By letter? By phone? You said earlier that you had not heard form them.

You did not answer my questions about how you exposed to them, and to whom the letters were sent.

You did not answer my questions about who else you exposed to.

You don't seem to want to deal with the issues I am raising, and that is making it hard to give any more advice.

The affair was exposed to her employer, several of her friends, her parents, my parents & some of my family, several of my friends. I did not put on my facebook (which I don't use much) because this would potentially reach a too large audience of people not close to us. It was too difficult to send letters because I did not have emails of people so I generally did it via phone conversations. I only showed evidence of the affair to a few of my friends. On around Sunday the person she works with (effectively her boss) said she cannot be sacked by exposure of the affair.

I'm not trying to beat you up about this, but I do need to know, so I am asking you to be very specific in your answers:

1. When you say you exposed to her employer, to whom at the organisation exactly did you expose? Was it to the person you describe here: "the person she works with (effectively her boss)" - and did you expose to that person by phone? Did you expose to anybody in that organisation by letter or email? Did you expose to the person you consider to be OM's boss?

2. Have you exposed to anyone on OM's side? Is he married? Have you traced his wife or girlfriend? Have you contacted them?

The other guy live's in another state. He is not married. He has 3 kids with 3 different ladies. He had a girlfriend but no longer as about a month or so ago I've been told. I have his email & phone number but that's about it. He also has a FB site and he is part of a band which has a facebook site. I cannot see his personal FB site thru mine (as he must have blocked me) but I can see it through another's.

I exposed it to the top boss at the organisation and this boss spoke with both my wife and the other guy. This boss also spoke with our state manger and the state manager also spoke with me.

PS
My wife's mum seems to be somewhat minimising the affair without seeing evidence.