it works the same. EVERY attorney in the US scares the hell out of the betrayed spouses about exposure because their goal is to facilitate the easiest divorce possible. They don't care about your children, they care about making their job easy. However, very few judges actually advocate lying to children. Keep in mind, the moral responsibility for your children falls to YOU and not some unnamed judge or court bureaucrat. It is in your childrens best interest to know the truth but the court does not have their best interest at heart. Their main concern is to facilitate an easy divorce. They don't give a damn about your kids and will never answer for their upbringing because the buck stops with you.


What will be the "conclusion" if their mother teaches them that wrong is right and their father gives his endorsement by his silence? Who will teach them right from wrong? Your children are being taught that adultery is acceptable and you are not countering that corruption. They will learn that their instincts about right and wrong are the problem here and will learn to QUESTION their own instincts about right and wrong. That is gross dereliction of duty as their parent.

Why is it ok for your wife to tell them lies but not ok for you to tell them truth?

It is your job to give your children moral guidance, not leave them in the hands of a corrupt parent who is teaching them wrong is right while you hope that they "come to their own conclusions." How will that happen? By osmosis?

Kids who are morally neglected by their parents CAN come to their own conclusions on their own if they take the initiative to learn right from wrong on their own as adults. But what if they don't?

if my attorney asked me to lie to my kids and screw with their heads, I would tell him to go to hell. I would tell my kids the truth and inform the attorney he needs to get off his dead [censored] and defend my appropriate actions, if necessary. don't sacrifice the best interests of your children because your lawyer is lazy and uncaring.

I do not disagree with you MelodyLane. However I must be mindful that I do not do anything at this time which hurts my chances of getting additional custody of our girls.

I know I must have a big influence in my girls lives otherwise they run the risk ***EDIT***!
***EDIT***, none of us are perfect, etc, however it was my wife parents who split at 12 years of marriage (just like us) and who had no father love and who's father told her at 13yo she was a slut for wearing make up and who's mother told her that her best asset is what she sits on and who's mother was caught by my wife 13yo taking money for sex and who's mother lent on her kids emotionally for ever. Just wish I new all of this before marrying her!

I will do the best I can for my girls... we do love each other hell of a lot!

Please read this and listen to the radio clips.

Exposing to Children

update & starting a new thread at:
Divorcing/Divorced � wife might relocate interstate without kids!

So my wife and I separated mid March.
She had been having an affair for some 4 to 5 months.
I exposed the affair, she went crazy.
We ended up in Court for interim orders in relation to custody of our daughters 6yo & 10yo, so the girls are currently seeing both of us.
We are back in Court soon, however my wife wanted to undertake mediation this week and today we had a joint session where she proposed some options in relation to custody of our children. We eliminated 3 options and were left with one option being she wants to relocate interstate WITHOUT our daughters but wants the girls spending ALL school/christmas holidays with her and she would also travel back to spend a weekend a month with the girls.
Her reason for wanting to relocate are; to have a relationship (with the guy she was having the affair with) and she had put the girls 1st for 10 years and was not happy and if she can become happy then she would be a better mother and to get away from my family & friends (who know about the affair, etc).
The Court cannot make her NOT relocate, however the Court will probably not allow the kids spend ALL of the school/christmas holidays with her.
I'm stunned that my wife, mother of our kids, might choose to relocate interstate without our children to risk trying to find happiness with another guy (whom I think has part time custody of 3 of his own kids from 3 different woman).
I don't know who I married, I know she had a difficult upbringing with no father love and a narcissistic mother who was emotionally dependant on her kids (being my wife and her brother), though some say my wife is just a narcissistic manipulating woman quite like her mum. She just quit our marriage for this guy without at least trying to professionally work thru our relationship issues.
I find myself in a difficult predicament!
I don't think my wife has even thought of what she would say to our daughters about her moving interstate & leaving them with me.
My heart bleeds tonight for my daughters!

PS we live in another country.

I'm sorry to hear that she's such a horrible parent. Just do everything in your power to protect your children. They're going to need you now more than ever.