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Tom6969 Offline OP
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They have both left the workplace for new jobs, within the last 2 weeks.

I am very concerned she will press charges for illegally recording the phone call, which I just verified is a felony in NY... WTF?????

How do I expose the proof without getting arrested???
I did just read your entire Exposure 101 thread.

Also if they ended their affair, should I still expose as heavily? Exposure is to kill the affair... and I think they have ended it.

I am not even sure I want to save the marriage now. Unbelievable

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Did you record it using a VAR in your own home? Then it is not a wiretap, you are free to record sounds in your own home. You are just picking up sound like any security surveillance system would be.


Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
WW filed for D - February 2016
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Originally Posted by Tom6969
They have both left the workplace for new jobs, within the last 2 weeks.

I am very concerned she will press charges for illegally recording the phone call, which I just verified is a felony in NY... WTF?????

You can play the tape for the OMW and your children. It is not in your wife's best interest to press charges because that will result in a huge exopsure. Does she want it to be on the news?

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How do I expose the proof without getting arrested???
I did just read your entire Exposure 101 thread.

You tell everyone you have discovered your wife is having an affair and just leave the evidence out of it.

Quote
Also if they ended their affair, should I still expose as heavily? Exposure is to kill the affair... and I think they have ended it.

Yes, you should expose it just as heavily. And no, exposure is not just to "end the affair." Not sure where you got that idea.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Tom6969
They have both left the workplace for new jobs, within the last 2 weeks.

You need to expose to the workplace anyway. They may be legally liable for your wife and her bosses reckless, unprofessional behavior.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by LostOnLeftCoast
Did you record it using a VAR in your own home? Then it is not a wiretap, you are free to record sounds in your own home. You are just picking up sound like any security surveillance system would be.

AND how would anyone know you didn't tape that in your home?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Stay calm, melody gave all the advice you need to get the exposure done.

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Tom6969 Offline OP
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Its D-Day.

Why expose to kids and family last? Shouldn't they be first?

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Originally Posted by Tom6969
Its D-Day.

Why expose to kids and family last? Shouldn't they be first?

No. Start like I told you so you can finish with your family where you can get the most support.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
No. Start like I told you so you can finish with your family where you can get the most support.

Yes, you need to follow Melody's advice. The order is very important so that you don't have your family members inadvertently leak the information to your WW or OM. If they get wind of it they will try to get their version of the story out FIRST before you get your evidence out, and it will dampen and cast doubt on your evidence/narrative.


Me-BH, 47
Spouse-WW, 47
Married for 18 years
DS, 11
D-Day #1 - November 1998 (7 months after wedding)
False Recovery, 16 years
D-Day #2 - November 2015
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Exposure complete. Hardest thing I have ever done... kids took it hard. Really, really hard...

WW pisseddddddddddddddd, she left for the night. Do I check in to make sure she is ok? Where do I go from here...? you guys have been a huge help

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Originally Posted by Tom6969
Exposure complete. Hardest thing I have ever done... kids took it hard. Really, really hard...

WW pisseddddddddddddddd, she left for the night. Do I check in to make sure she is ok? Where do I go from here...? you guys have been a huge help

Can you give us an overview of your exposures? Did you complete the exposures to the OM's facebook contacts?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Tom6969 Offline OP
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Yes. OM's wife and I have been talking, so she knew. I let her know first that I was ready to blow the lid off. OM's FB contacts were hidden but I knew at least 3 of them that play in his band, so I sent to them first. Then to WW's FB contacts. Then to about 6 of our very close friends. Then my mother, then the 3 children. 2 of them are hers from a previous divorce, they ALL supported me and our family. Only one I could not do (Melody please don't yell at me... I know, I know...) was WW's ailing father. Sorry, I could not hurt him like that. My decision, I know you'll disagree, but it was my decision and I am the one who has to live with the consequences. You don't know all my reasons...

This morning she's raging mad. Says filing for divorce Monday. Says she should have done this long ago. All of which I was prepared for... but it still hurts ... bad....

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I would also reach out to the OM's parents and ask them to intervene. Have you been in touch with them?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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Originally Posted by Tom6969
Yes. OM's wife and I have been talking, so she knew.

I don't understand. How could she know if you just got this recording? Did you play the recording for her?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


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