CLEAN UP THE KITCHEN!!!

I took care of the eggs and wished my Wife goodnight I even brushed her shoulder with my hand. she pulled away slightly and said don't in a soft moan voice; but it wasn't like adamant like last week. So today I would say a little progress was made. I'll refrain from touch until more love deposits are made.

I can see now why I need to be home at the same time. Even though she was upset in the beginning of the day I could tell she became conflicted with showing me no emotion while I showed her attention.

You got it!! And the more you are apart the more she will demonize you.

I'm going crazy not knowing her new phone number. She turned the old one off and said last week I don't need the new number because of the exposure.

I was wondering how to ask her for the new one cause I'd like to text her some nice things when we are apart.

Today (Friday) I had the day off.

I bought some new flowers to place on the table of the dinning room because the old ones were wilting. I left a note saying; " (her name, I hope you had a fantastic day! Here is a bouquet of beautiful flowers for a beautiful woman! -with love me"

I was outside when she arrived home playing with one of our dogs, so I entered the side door and my wife the front. immediately she said what are these, I said huh? what... How many times did I tell you not to get me anything, I said there's a note attached. I did it because the old ones were wilting and it brightens up the house .

She replied, if you want to get me a bouquet, make should the divorce papers are in it, that would make me happy. I started to laugh a little cause she was smiling and chuckling when she said it. I just said "Really now???" and she said yes. So not to argue I just said I do not want to talk about divorce and asked how her day went, the answers were short.

fast fwd. sitting on the couch together, I said I can tell something is bothering you, would you like to talk? she replied I debating weather or not to goto my friends Deedy's because I told you I do not want to be home when you are home. So I said, Can I ask you something? she looked... I said where did our relationship go. once again she said I checked out long time ago. I know recently you have stepped up and began to help with a bunch of stuff, but it's too late; I want a divorce, I replied I will not divorce you because I do not believe you can just turn off your emotions like a light switch. I still care for you, believe in you and love you, that will never go away.

She received a text, so I asked for her phone number in case of emergency. she said I have my family you have yours for emergencies. then She said, my therapist told me not to do this...(I guess talking to me) because my wife never said what exactly her therapist said.

I could see where this was leading, so I quickly halted and said lets not talk about this. How' bout dinner? she replied I'm not hungry, okay, It's Friday, lets go do something fun! she said you don't get it. That note I left you the other day...I meant what I said, we aren't going to be doing anything together.

I can understand why due to everything that has happened. I left it at that.

I asked if she wanted any carryout and I left to go get some dinner with my Mom, since I haven't seen her and to discuss everything.

When I arrived home she was already in bed, but got up to use the bathroom when I walked in so I said goodnight, and she said goodnight.

I was able to put the GPS unit on the vehicle after she went to bed, so now I can gather more evidence.

I think the affair must still be going on the way she is acting. Maybe she has some deep rooted issues that she needs to deal with alone without me in the picture. She did go from her first marriage to US without any break. I looked up her first divorce paperwork and she started dating me 1 month before her divorce was final. She has said she needs time to work on herself and she wants to be alone. It's hard for me to see that if that is the truth. I can wait till she figures things out, but she may not wait. I need to keep fighting and know I did everything possible before this divorce is eminent.

Yep, the "deep rooted issue" is that she is having an affair. Its not any more complicated than that, I promise you! Just hang in there, you are doing just fine.

Anything new on the job front?

Thanks ML,

nothing new on the job front other than the boss saying I'm working on it.

I'm so frustrated... It seems like no one is willing to do anything. No investigation, for conduct unbecoming (that is what my former boss should be charged with)

I keep pressuring them, that's all I can do. I waiting to meet with the Chief still.

This world is so crazy, everyone I meet is like just get over it and move on with your life. I'm like easy for you to say, it's not you that this is happening too and it's not the Christian thing to do.

I do have friends that support me and all of you Plus I have a friend at the PRCT where the OM/former boss was transferred too. He offered to be my spy

Radio Clip of LMG's Show
Segment #2
Segment #3

Thanks Brainhurts for linking that.

It's Saturday morning; I have today off. Unknown what the wife is planning today. She"s a little distant again today. Although I was sitting in the living room watching a Christian channel, and she blew up saying really??? I said what does that mean, I can't believe what your watching. So this just proves to me that what's going on in our relationship is spiritual warfare.

She sat on the floor next to where I was on the couch and was playing with the dogs. I could feel she was being slightly receptive...I asked would you like to watch something? She said no I'm going to take a shower soon.
In the past I used to give her back and shoulder massages when she sat on the floor so I asked would you like a massage she turned her head and rolled her eyes and said Nooo... (Sarcastically)

A few minutes went by and we were just hanging out with the dogs and watching tv; so I tried to rub her back and she said what are you doing; You said you used to love back massages. She didn't say anything. She pulled away so I stopped and then she hopped in the shower... And locked the bathroom door.

No more pushing for physical contact. Its like the book says one step forward two steps back.

Patience is my new word now! Continue to gather evidence and have patience with my love kindness. WWJD

So you know to stop doing that, right???? The last thing you need to do right now is convey the sense that she is being judged. You and I know this is spiritual warfare, but you need to be more clever than the devil.


It's ok to ask but when she says no, then STOP IT. Don't just keep doing it if she says no.


You got it!!

I overheard her talking to her girlfriend today.

Her counselor is pushing her in the wrong direction. He said he doesn't know why I would want to continue a relationship after all that happened. Plus He said what I did was childish high school stuff on the exposure. And then said I'm trying to win by not giving in to a divorce. But I did hear my wife say that the counselor thinks I do love my wife; but not to let that sway your thinking or fall into a trap by not getting a divorce. He is reaching because he only k owns one side of the story. Who says that!!!!!!

Then my wife said to her girlfriend, right he thinks he can change my mind- well he won't. So my wife is getting bad support from her so called best friend.

This battle has just begun I say!
Patience! I say
Continue to show love. Because I k ow it is working; otherwise she would not be calling her best friend and getting reassurance that she thinks she is doing the right thing.

So what if my wife says a little to late; at the very least she will remember me as a kind loving man!

She will question her decisions more and more so just hang in there!! You are doing just great.

Do you know the name of her counselor? If so, I would anonymously send him/her EVERY one of Dr. Harley's books.

I'll have to check my phone records, for the name, because I called him the day of my short exposure of the affair, and he did not return my call.

I don't have the financial resources to purchase all the books and mail the counselor. I'll try to figure something out, b/c this counselor is putting on the breaks for my wife's heart to open up to me.

The affair is still going on!

I got confirmation today from the gps unit on her vehicle.she went out to his side of town- she has no friends or family out there and no reason to be less than a mile from his house.

How long was she out there? Are you pretty sure she was with him?

I have a video of her exiting his car and they kissed and the she drove home .
So she is lying and the affair is still going on.


What to do now?

When you see her next, tell her you know she is still seeing the OM and ask her to end her affair. Tell her how much it hurts you that she is seeing this man.

Can you get him in more trouble at his new post?

I was going to leave a note on the counter tonight saying how she is the best wife in the world!

And not say anything about what I know immediately

Her bday is on the 25th so I was going to take the day off. Because I'm sure she was gong to do something with the OM.