No, I have not heard back from him.

Did you email him again and notify the MODS if you don't hear back?

Here is a conversation with my WW today by text.

J3: You were asleep, so I'm not sure if you understood what I was saying this morning. I'm very sorry for those things that I've done.

[An hour later I sent this:] And though I am very sorry for the things that I have done that were disrespectful and insensitive, those should not be deal breakers. When people make mistakes, they can atone for their mistakes. Without forgiveness reconciliation and atonement every relationship is doomed. I'm not excusing what I did, but had we had this conversation earlier those things would have stopped earlier. Instead you kept it all in, and you let your resentment simmer, and then reached a Breaking Point. Why did you do that?. Don't you have a peace chair in your classroom where students who have wronged each other talk out their feelings and work it out? You allow that process for your students but you don't allow that process for your marriage.

WW: I know this is all my mistake. Im sorry.

J3: When we renewed our vows I had hoped that we would stick to them this time. Marriage is hard work, and every couple has their differences. I feel those differences in the same way that you do. But when we married, two became one. We don't let our differences shatter our Union. We keep the love alive. And we can do that if we so choose. I want both of us to be happy and ecstatic in the love that we share. I don't want to just cruise through a marriage clinging to lifeless vows. But we did exchange vows, and those vows define us.

WW: I want that too. But at this moment I�m in a different place.

J3: What place does God want you to be in?

WW: God, I think, would want me to stay with my family.

J3: The reason you are in a different place is because you have allowed other men to meet your intimate needs. That has put your heart in a different place. All this other stuff we could work through with time and care.

WW: I know we can. But what about those needs?

J3: Suppress them. We all have temptations. I do too. But I forsake all others for you.

WW: I will try.

J3: Does that mean you are willing to put in place the extraordinary precautions?

WW: I said I will try.

J3: Thank you, but is that a yes or a no?

She did not answer that question. But later in the afternoon she sent me a picture of her classroom which she is getting ready for the school year. � Look at the back area. All nice and organized.�

I replied: It is looking beautiful, Mrs. J3! Your kids are going to be so happy this year in your classroom. They always are.�

My wife is a GREAT teacher. Anyway, she is at this point unwilling to do the EP�s, which indicates she is either reluctant to have to lose face to the people she's been chatting with, or she doesn't want to give it up, or she is entrenched in an affair. In the final analysis, not giving up the EPs is a deal breaker for me.

Here the EP's that were laid out to ww:

Our marriage has been ravaged by infidelity three times now, but we can recover from it if we are willing to take extraordinary precautions and stick with them. I am willing to give our marriage one more chance if you are, but there are precautions that must be put in place. Here are the steps we would need to take:

�You should reveal all information about your infidelity to me. There can be no secrets, passwords, etc.

�You should make a commitment to never see or talk to any of the men you Skyped with and were on (name of chatroom) with again.

�You should go on SKYPE in my presence and end the relationship with all the men you have skyped with.

�You should take extraordinary precautions to guarantee total separation from the men you have contacted by Skype and in (name of chatroom). This includes going on (name of chatroom)in my presence and letting them know you will not be returning and that your presence in the room was wrong and hurtful to your husband and your family.

�You should block potential communication with the men you have been in contact with (change e-mail address and home and cell phone numbers if they have them, and close all social networking accounts; all forms of communication are to be available to me for checking & monitoring).

�Account for time (We both give each other a 24 hour daily schedule w/ locations and telephone #s).

�Account for money (We give each other a complete account of all money spent. Receipts are saved for cash transactions).

�We spend leisure time together.

�Avoid overnight separation.

�Allow technical accountability.

Sexual fidelity is surely the key component of marriage. Many people fail at that, but if they openly state that they are not even willing to put all their effort into achieving fidelity, they are not fit to be married.

Your wife seems to be saying that she will not prioritise fidelity. She seems to be saying that she will stay in the marriage if you will let her, and if you'll be nice to her, but she won't make any effort to be faithful.

Do I understand that correctly?

Yes, that is the message I am getting from her. I would like to know more about the encounters she has had and if she is still in contact with these men.

I have to agree.

I just sent something to the moderators, Brain.

Since my wife won't accept the EP's, I have asked her to move out,and she has agreed. Without EP's in place, this isn't a safe marriage. I can't sleep at night knowing that she might be doing this, and I can't afford for this to affect my job performance.

I am surprised that she is taking this stand. She has said that she loves me and has also indicated that she is making the biggest mistake of her life. But she won't let go. I asked Dr. Harley in my e-mail if he has any suggestions that might help her. She is headed down a destructive path and I worry for her health, safety, and well being. I have asked her to call our health care provider's family therapy department to get help. I don't think she will do it. She doesn't want to have to share this with anyone. Prayers would be appreciated.

It will be interesting to hear what Dr. H has to say. It's possible that your wife feels powerless over her cravings and impulses, thus cannot truthfully promise not to engage. Or she just doesn't care enough.

I would ask Dr. H about exposure here. Having your blessing to keep quiet about the cause of this breakdown is not good for you.

Praying for you, j3.

Thank you for your prayers, Marcos. Please include my wife in them.

Dr. Harley is addressing you on the radio show today. Are you listening?

He doesn't seem to have high hopes for your situation -- you should separate, and even divorce. He says he believes this is "willful" on her part, and "being married to someone like that is a disaster."

I certainly am!

I missed it. I will look for it and listen to on loop.

Thank you for letting me know.

Thank you for the heads-up, Prisca. I did not know that my letter to the Harley's was going to be addressed. I was able to listen to the show just now, and Dr. Harley, as always, added very helpful insight and clarity to my situation. I am grateful to him and Joyce.

I thank all of you who have chimed in and given advice.

Just, I listened to the show and Dr Harley thinks its a good idea she leaves and that you get divorced.

Yes, Melody. I listened to show yesterday as well. The night before the show I had asked WW to move out since she wasn't willing to do the EP's, and Dr. Harley verified for me on the radio program that this was the right thing to do, which was a big relief. His insight on the situation was very helpful and affirming.

My next steps are to file for a legal separation and begin the annulment process with my Church. The latter is no guarantee by any stretch, but I am going to pursue it.

Is there a reason you are filing for separation and not divorce?

I'm Catholic. Down the road I think this will end in divorce.