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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
On one of the radio shows, Dr. Harley suggested that a wife who was having disrespectful thoughts could write them to him or write them on the forum, instead of saying them to her husband. I think that's what Leo was doing. Is it still an AO or DJ when it's not directed at me? Yes. And then we will educate him on how to identify the disrespectful judgments he is making, and the need to eliminate them. They are still disrespectful judgments, even if he doesn't say them to you. And they still need to be eliminated. We are here to teach him how to do that. But he calls it retarded. He's not serious.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
You don't think it's a problem that your husband is threatening you with divorce to control your behavior? He has done that in the past but is not currently doing it. He is currently doing it.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
It would be wise for you to not post on his thread, but rather, stick to your own. He has left the forum (he wasn't angry, but he didn't feel like it was helping him), so I'm posting on his thread on his behalf. He is still following the advice to stop the AOs and DJs, and is working on calming techniques. But he is trying to figure out how to work through his negative thoughts and feelings as he does this. How does he keep from getting discouraged when he's not seeing any changes in the short term? Is there something I can do to help? Did he see my post about UA time? Did you see my post that you will NEVER see any changes if you skip this step? NEVER? Is that why he left?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 257
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Joined: Jan 2016
Posts: 257 |
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
As long as your husband continues his disrespect and anger, and as long as you skip UA, your marriage will not get better.
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