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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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OK, then Thank you all for your help. I'm NOT going to stay with my husband for the sake of the children and there is no chance for reconciliation with my marriage with or without the OM. Like the title says, I ended my marriage the wrong way. I wish I had left without the man involved. It didn't happen. I regret it deeply. I came here for help with my divorce. The OM wasn't the part I was looking for advice about. I'll find another support group that is more suited to what I am looking for help with. Thanks again. We don't dispute your desire to get divorced and can help you there. But no one here is going to help you pursue an affair with a dirtbag. There is no future in an affair. If you "regret" your affair deeply, then end it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 166
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 166 |
OK, then Thank you all for your help. I'm NOT going to stay with my husband for the sake of the children and there is no chance for reconciliation with my marriage with or without the OM. Like the title says, I ended my marriage the wrong way. I wish I had left without the man involved. It didn't happen. I regret it deeply. I came here for help with my divorce. The OM wasn't the part I was looking for advice about. I'll find another support group that is more suited to what I am looking for help with. Thanks again. We don't dispute your desire to get divorced and can help you there. But no one here is going to help you pursue an affair with a dirtbag. There is no future in an affair. If you "regret" your affair deeply, then end it. I don't regret the relationship with the OM, I regret that it was an affair and that is the opportunity I took to leave. I wished I had left my husband without anyone else in the picture. I knew my husband would become vindictive and spiteful when I left. Which is why I was afraid to leave for years.
WW(Me)- 35
FWH-48
Married 10yrs (12/22/06), together 16 years
3 Children- DD7, DD9, DD12
FWH-D-Day- 05/15/06- 07/26/06
Married 12/22/06
Me-EA/PA began 01/28/17
moved out 2/7/17
Divorce filed 3/1/17
previous PA approx 2010-2011
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I don't regret the relationship with the OM, I regret that it was an affair and that is the opportunity I took to leave. I wished I had left my husband without anyone else in the picture. I knew my husband would become vindictive and spiteful when I left. Which is why I was afraid to leave for years. You will regret your affair, everyone does. You are making a huge mistake and setting a very poor example for your children. You aren't going to get any support here committing adultery.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 20,450 Likes: 4
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I'll find another support group that is more suited to what I am looking for help with. Thanks again. One that supports your affair?
FWW/BW (me)
WH
2nd M for both
Blended Family with 7 kids between us
Too much hurt and pain on both sides that my brain hurts just thinking about it all.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 166
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 166 |
I'll find another support group that is more suited to what I am looking for help with. Thanks again. One that supports your affair? No, one that supports me with my divorce.
WW(Me)- 35
FWH-48
Married 10yrs (12/22/06), together 16 years
3 Children- DD7, DD9, DD12
FWH-D-Day- 05/15/06- 07/26/06
Married 12/22/06
Me-EA/PA began 01/28/17
moved out 2/7/17
Divorce filed 3/1/17
previous PA approx 2010-2011
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Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,842
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OK, then Thank you all for your help. I'm NOT going to stay with my husband for the sake of the children and there is no chance for reconciliation with my marriage with or without the OM. Like the title says, I ended my marriage the wrong way. I wish I had left without the man involved. It didn't happen. I regret it deeply. I came here for help with my divorce. The OM wasn't the part I was looking for advice about. I'll find another support group that is more suited to what I am looking for help with. Thanks again. We don't dispute your desire to get divorced and can help you there. But no one here is going to help you pursue an affair with a dirtbag. There is no future in an affair. If you "regret" your affair deeply, then end it. I don't regret the relationship with the OM, I regret that it was an affair and that is the opportunity I took to leave. I wished I had left my husband without anyone else in the picture. I knew my husband would become vindictive and spiteful when I left. Which is why I was afraid to leave for years. By leaving the marriage during an affair, you go with a corpse strapped to your back. Drop the affair so you leave unencumbered.
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Posts: 1,842
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You will only find support for the divorce minus the affair here, which is what you got.
End the affair, complete the divorce.
Many divorce attorneys will see you with a free initial consultation. Call around.
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 166
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OP
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Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 166 |
You will only find support for the divorce minus the affair here, which is what you got.
End the affair, complete the divorce.
Many divorce attorneys will see you with a free initial consultation. Call around. I have called 37 divorce attorneys and legal aid so far. I will keep trying. Perhaps I will come back once the relationship with OM is over. Thanks again.
Last edited by hangnthere; 03/09/17 12:11 AM.
WW(Me)- 35
FWH-48
Married 10yrs (12/22/06), together 16 years
3 Children- DD7, DD9, DD12
FWH-D-Day- 05/15/06- 07/26/06
Married 12/22/06
Me-EA/PA began 01/28/17
moved out 2/7/17
Divorce filed 3/1/17
previous PA approx 2010-2011
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
I'll find another support group that is more suited to what I am looking for help with. Thanks again. One that supports your affair? No, one that supports me with my divorce. We support the decision to divorce, but any place that supports your affair is no friend. That is not "support," but enabling.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3
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Posts: 7,362 Likes: 3 |
You admit in your very thread title that you are ending your marriage the wrong way ...
Are you enjoying the drama?
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Posts: 789 Likes: 4 |
I wouldn't wish infidelity on anyone. It's the worst betrayal from the person you least expect it from. I would say that I hope it never happens to me again but I am CONFIDENT that it won't. You wrote this.
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