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How about just about the entire new Nickel Creek album, "Why Should the Fire Die?"

Somebody More Like You: "I didn't hear you say you're sorry, the fault must be mine. I wish you all the best of luck at finding somebody more more like you... I hope you find someone your height so you can see eye to eye with someone as small as you"

Anthony: "Anthony, oh he said he can't love me. But I think he can, and I told him so just before he ran." (especially ironic b/c that my WH's first name he doesn't use, and I wrote a song called Anthony when we first started dating)

Helena: "You look so sweet waiting for me while I wait for her to give me any reason to leave" (this whole song is sung from the perspective of the WS who ends up losing both)

Can't Complain: "I cheated on her with a friend of mine. But remember I warned her and I'm a guy, so she can't complain."

Jealous of the moon: "I hate to see a friend of mine laughing out loud when she's crying inside" (gosh, I feel like they're singing this one to me)

Best of Luck: "he's still shaking it off buys flowers for his wife, guilty he could even think of life without her,
gets home looking like he's seen a ghost, she's ready for the worst, but when he tells her, she breaks down crying i'm so sorry"

Why should the fire die: "Why should the fire die? My mom and dad kept theirs alive."

Ugh. It's such a great album, though. I got it right after WH left. Then I happened to see it sitting in his car one day. How can he listen to it with a clear conscience?


(Formerly SadMommy05) BS, 29 (me) XH, 27 DD, 1 M, 2001 high school sweethearts OW, 36, divorcee, "we have a friendship people can't understand" WH left out of the blue 9/5/2005 I filed 11/1/2005 D finalized 6/20/06 XH and OW married 1/6/07. Ugh!
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Wow Sadmommy, that does sound like an album to stay away from. I think the same thing when I hear adultery songs, "What does WH think when they play this song?" I gotta stop worrying about what WH thinks.

When I was a WW, there was a Sawyer Brown song, "All these years" (I think). I loved/hated this part sung from a BH point of view:

"You say I'm not the man I used to be, well neither is that guy".


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
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Here's the lyrics to the whole song:

She likes adventure with security
And more than one man can provide
She planned adventure feeling sure that he
Would not be home 'till after five
He turned on the lights and turned them off again
And said the one thing he could say

All these years
Where have I been
Well I've been down the rode to work and home again
And I'm still here
Untill I'm gone
Don't you rub it in too hard that I've been wrong
All these years

She said, "You're not the man you used to be"
He said, "Neither is this guy"
She said, "There's some things you refuse to see
But I guess sometimes so do I"
She made no excuse why she was lying there
She said the one thing she could say

All these years
What have I done
I made your supper and your daughter and your son
Still I'm here
And still confused
But I can finally see how much I stand to lose
All these years

I'm still here
And so confused
But I can finally see how much I stand to lose
All these years


Me-41 BS (FWS)
DH-41 WS (FBS)
2DD's- 10 and 12
Married 15 years
Separated for 2 years after my A
Reconciled for 1 year before his A
D-day for his A 8/23/05
WH moved out 9/16/05
Divorce final 1/23/07
Affair ended or month or so later
My Story
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Anything Country, it's all way too depressing!


"Never argue with idiots or WSs, They just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience"
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Dark End of the Street (Eva Cassidy)

At the dark end of the street
that's the way we always meet
hiding in shadows where we don't belong
living in darkness, to hide alone
You and me, at the dark end of the street
You and me

I know a time has gonna take it's toll
we have to pay for one we stole
It's a sin and we know it's wrong
Oh, our love keeps going on strong
Steal away to the dark end of the street
You and me

They gonna find us, they gonna find us
They gonna find us oh someday
You and me, at the dark end of the street

When the daylight all goes around
And by chance we're both down the town
If we should meet, just walk, walk on by
Oh, darling, please don't you cry
Tonight we will meet at the dark end of the street
Tonight we will meet at the dark end of the street


Love Lies Bleeding (Elton John)




The roses in the window box
Have tilted to one side
Everything about this house
Was born to grow and die

Oh it doesn't seem a year ago
To this very day
You said I'm sorry honey
If I don't change the pace
I can't face another day

And love lies bleeding in my hand
Oh it kills me to think of you with another man
I was playing rock and roll and you were just a fan
But my guitar couldn't hold you
So I split the band
Love lies bleeding in my hands

I wonder if those changes
Have left a scar on you
Like all the burning hoops of fire
That you and I passed through

You're a bluebird on a telegraph line
I hope you're happy now
Well if the wind of change comes down your way girl
You'll make it back somehow

Can You Stop the rain (Pebo Bryson)

Can You Stop the Rain by Peabo Bryson

Here's another morning without you
Here's another day; will I get through it
Without breaking down?
Haven't seen the sun since you've been gone
Like my heart, I lost it when you left me
And it can't be found

How can I go on?
Baby, I'd be living on memories
Of you and me
All the love we made
All those tender nights
And those endless days
They're all here inside

(Chorus 1:)
Baby, can you stop the rain from falling?
Won't you chase my clouds away?
I'd give anything to see the sun again
Only you can stop these tears from falling
I can't face another day
Baby, can you stop
Can you stop the rain?

Ev'rywhere I go, I feel you there
Following my footsteps like a shadow
Of my broken heart
Sometimes, it's a pair of passing eyes
Or it's just the way someone is talking
And there you are

Am I all alone?
Don't you ever wake up
And reach for me
Where I used to be?
Is there any chance?
I just can't believe
You're not lonely, too
Just for me and you

(Repeat chorus 1)

(Bridge:)
If you were here for only one night
Baby, I know you'd remember
'Cause loving you once wasn't time enough
I know we can make it together
Together

(Chorus 2:)
Baby, stop the rain
Won't you chase my clouds away?
I'd give anything to see the sun again
Only you can stop these tears of mine from falling
I can't face another day
Baby, can you stop
Can you, can you stop the rain?

How can I live without you, baby?
How could I let you go?

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I've got several.

My STBXH (wow - first time I've typed that - whew, what a kick in the gut, lump in the throat, stab in the heart) had the first A less than 1 yr into our marriage. The OW left a message on his VM; it was the song "You are the love of my life" by Sammy Kershaw. I actually loved the song and thought of my H when I first heard it b/c he was. We got past the A but he was so unfeeling that if it ever came on the radio, he wouldn't change the station.

Now, there have been other As. The last one he fell in love with or at least as much as he can love. Anyway, they've had an on again/off again R. The last time it was "off" he bought her an angel figurine (she said he was her angel), bought her flowers in her favorite color and had a CD made for her (he made a copy for himself). It had several songs on it. Among them are: Brick House (Commodores), I Will Always Love You (Dolly Parton), I Love to Lay you Down (Conway Twitty), She's one in a Million Girl (?). Three others that I don't remember now.

Anyway, I was w/him a day or two later and he played the CD while I was w/him. He had no clue that I knew the significance of the CD. I was white knuckled and thin lipped the whole time and he asked "What's wrong?" "Oh, nothing".

I've got a long laundry list of others that remind me. One I heard in a store that made me mad and made me cry at the same time is by the Eagles "Already Gone". The lyrics are something like:
I heard some people talking just the other day.
They said you were gonna put me on a shelf.
Well, I've got some news for you and you'll soon find out it's true.
And you'll have to eat your lunch all by yourself.

I'm already gone.

It was common news to everyone but me that he stayed w/me for insurance and $ and wanted to D me to be w/OW. I thought the song was quite appropriate.

There are many others, mostly country.

Sara Evans - You should have thought about that when you were cheating

Toby Keith - Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then

on and on and on.

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Hey, there, L2S! Did you notice that this thread started in 2000? Kind of fun, huh?

It's funny that you mentioned the one by the Eagles, "Already Gone"! I brought that one up just recently at the codependency site that I post on. I consider it my theme song! The words in that song that stand out to me is:

"So often times it happens,
that we live our lives in chains.
And we never even know
we have the key..."

Anyway, hope all is well with you! Keep me posted and take care!

Jen

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Ok...I am on call at hospital...I'll bite.

My songs/triggers:
1)Unforgettable: What we danced 2 at our wedding. Also "What a wonderful World".
2)"Wonderful Tonight"..he used to say that song reminded him of me.
3)My divorce song: In Th End by Linkin Park
4)"All I ask of You" from Phantom of the Opera...most songs from Phantom too...the song above plus others were overture at my wedding (evening wedding) and my bridal party came out to them as a harpist played...too surreal. I can hear the songs now..even as far into my recovery (personal only) and fall into tears.
5)"If I'd been the One" by .38 special


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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How about "You Can Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac?

"loving you, isn't the right thing to do
how can I, ever change things that I feel?
If I could, maybe I'd give you my world.
Open up, everything's waiting for you.
You can go your own way, you can call it another lonely day.
.....everything's turned around,
Packing up, shacking up is all you want to do...."

Kind of goes both ways maybe.

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"I will always love you" by either Dolly Parton or Whitney Huston. I found a love note from the OW where she said she was going to make a recording of the Dolly version for my H. Everytime I hear that song, I have to turn off the radio or walk out of the area where it's playing. makes me wanna PUKE!!


Me 47 FWH 49 M 26years 2 DD 24, 22 D-day 10/03 Daledogsmom@yahoo.com *formerly known as Dougswife*
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The Reba McIntyre song "You Lie" would bring me to my knees sobbing in a matter of seconds for a long time.

Now when I hear it (which is infrequently), I remember the deep sadness I felt back then, but the song no longer invokes pain in me now. That healing happened gradually over the years.

Lori

You Lie:
"We lie in the dark I know you're awake
The only sounds are the sounds this old house makes
But, Oh, how I long, I long to hear your voice
Desperate to talk, yearning to touch
Burning inside 'cause I want you so much
So I say I need you and leave you no choice

Chorus:
You lie you don't want to hurt me
So you lie, buy a little time, and I go along
What else can I do, maybe it's wrong
But you know how much I love you
So you lie 'til you can find a way to say goodbye
You lie

How long until you just can't go on
And the urge to break loose is just too strong
You should let go that's what you want to do
Oh but you don't know, you don't know
If it's the right thing to do"


VERY HAPPY! FBS/FWS; 47yo; M-29 yrs.; DS-26,DD-21; our affairs: 1990-'96
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I can't listen to "She will be Loved" by Maroon 5, it was FWH's song for FOW (barf!!!!). Don't really listen to Maroon 5 period anymore....shame too.

another "bad" one is Shameless by Garth Brooks....figures though, huh?


A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.

FWH (him) 40
FBS (me) 38
together 12 years, married 8
5 kids (his, mine & ours) oldest 16, youngest 6
EA/PA/EA 11/2004-12/2005(all with same OW {19 & our nanny for 1 year prior}yuk)
DDay 11/2004
False Recovery 08/2005 - 09/2005
RECOVERY '06
NC not very firm at first, but now securely in place!
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How about these.

For FWW The Reason by Hoobastank.
I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why i need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

For me Uncle Krackers Follow me-
You don't know how you met me
You don't know why, you cant turn around and say good-bye
All you know is when im with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

And I worry 'bout the ring you wear
Cause as long as no one knows
That nobody can care
Your fellin guilty
And I'm well aware
But you don't look ashamed
And baby I'm not scared
Im singin...

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

Solo

Won't give you money
I can't give you the sky
It better off if you don't ask why
I'm not the reason that you go stranded
We'll be alright if you don't ask me to stay

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

You don't know how you met me
You don't know why, you cant turn around and say good-bye
All you know is when im with you I make you free
And swim through your veins like a fish in the sea
I'm singing....

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

Follow me
Everything is alright
I'll be the one to tuck you in at night
And if you want to leave
I can guarantee
You won't find nobody else like me

And Kid Rock and Cheryl Crow
Living my life in a slow ******
different girl every night at the hotel
I aint seen the sun shine in 3 damn days
been fuelin up on cocaine and whiskey
wish I had a good girl to miss me
but I wonder if I'll ever change my ways
I put your picture away
sat down and cried today
I cant look at you while I'm lying next to her
I put your picture away
sat down and cried today
I cant look at you while I'm lying next to her

I called u last night in the hotel
everyone knows but they wont tell
but there half hided smiles tell me somethin just aint right
I've been waiting on you for a long time
fuelin up on heartaches and she'd whine
I aint heard from you in 3 damn nights
I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I cant look at you while I'm lyin next to him
I put your picture away
I wonder where you've been
I cant look at you while I'm lyin next to him

I saw you yesterday with an old friend
it wuz the same old same how have you been
since you've been gone my worlds been dark and gray
you reminded me of brighter days
I hope to be coming home to stay
I wuz head of the church
I wuz off to drink you away
I thought about you for a long time
can't seem to get you off my mind
I cant stand why we’re living like this way
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home
I just called to say I love you
come back home


BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby


When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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Oh one more my FWW hates. It is from the Sweet Home Alabama soundtrack.

Again Uncle Kracker.
To Think I Used To Love You

You made me laugh some
You made me cry some too
You sent me off into a world of pain
And made me someone new
You made all kinds of promises
But only some came true
Now I know you need me more than I need you

[CHORUS]
To think I used to love you
For reasons I don't know
You polished up my halo
And I dirtied up your soul
I sure had a good time
But we both know I can't stay
To think I used to love you but I'm leaving anyway

You know I'm not perfect
And I tried to make you see
Somehow you though of everything
But you didn't think about me
Lies and disappointment
Makes your world go round
It's to late save me so you might as well come down

[REPEAT CHORUS]


BS 38
FWW 35
D Day 10/03
Recovery started 11/06
3 boys 12, 8 and a new baby


When life hands you lemons make lemonade then try to find the person life hands vodka and have a party.
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I heard a new one recently, I think it is Nelly Furtado(?)

It's entireley about her cheating, and that he knows, and she knows it's killing him ... she tells him she's going out with the girls, but they both know it's an unneccessary lie. The main line at the end of the chorus is "I don't want to be a murderer."

My H couldn't turn this song off fast enough when we heard it on the radio.


WH's A: 1/18/06 - ???? D-Days: 3/28, 4/14 (false recovery), 9/5 8/11 -- WH announces that he doesn't love me anymore. 9/5, confirmed A was renewed, PBL & re-exposure which gets him investigated. He refuses to move out and gets blatant with the A. 10/15, “Plan F-U”. Yuck. But it did start some talking. C w/OW continued until ....? MC with SH 11/24, WH says he loves me. Making progress. My own and with us.
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The one that really gets me is "Dont ya wish your girlfriend was hot like me" by the Pussycat Dolls (or Girls?). It is the song the OW picked. She thought I was just his g/f in the beginning. How cute, huh? She never saw me by the way but I saw pictures of her on the web and she is NOTHING compared to me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />! I can't believe my H didn't laugh when she picked that song but he was in the fog <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />.


BS (me) 30
Ex-FWH (iamsosorry) 32
Married 1997
DD, 10; DD, 6
A - PA 10/8/05 - 11/23/05?? - will never know the whole truth!!
ILYBNILWY speech - 11/10/05 - the day before my Birthday.....Happy Birthday to me!
D-Day - 11/23/05 - Happy Thanksgiving to me!
D-Day 2 - 4/10/06 - Happy Easter to me! (First time I found out it wasn't a ONS as he's been telling us all)
Divorced - finalized 7/07
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Yeah, I saw that!!

"So often times it happens,
that we live our lives in chains.
And we never even know
we have the key..."

Yeah, that's the other part of the song that fit so perfectly into our situation.

I'm really having a hard time w/the whole thing. I know D is the RIGHT answer given all that has happened. It's just so darned sad and painful. I know in time the pain won't be so intense but being in the midst of it all really sucks right now.

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the man who says he "never loved me" and "married me for all the wrong reasons" used to say that our song was "heavan" by bryan adams....it was the song we danced to at our wedding...so i cry when i hear it now


Heaven

Oh - thinkin' about all our younger years
There was only you and me
We were young and wild and free
Now nothin' can take you away from me
We've been down that road before
But that's over now
You keep me comin' back for more

Chorus

Baby you're all that I want
When you're lyin' here in my arms
I'm findin' it hard to believe
We're in heaven
And love is all that I need
And I found it here in your heart
It isn't too hard to see
We're in heaven

Oh - once in your life you find someone
Who will turn your world around
Bring you up when you're feelin' down
Ya-nothin' could change what you mean to me
Oh there's lots that I could say
But just hold me now
Cause our love will light the way

Chorus

I've been waitin' for so long
For somethin' to arrive
For love to come along
Now our dreams are comin' true
Through the good times and the bad
Ya - I'll be standin' there by you



after i discovered the affair and my H and i agreed to work on our marraige.....

he played the song "stand by my woman now" by Lenny Kravitz and told me that this was how he felt about me now


There were times I wasn't kind
And there were times I wasn't even around
And there were times I made you cry
So many times I had to say goodbye
When you want to talk
I'm on the phone
But now baby I am here for you alone

I'm gonna stand by my woman now
I'm gonna stand by my woman now
cause I cant live my life alone
Without a home

There were times I didn't understand
And there were times I wouldn't hold your hand
But now baby now Im here for you
cause baby I am so in love with you

I'm gonna stand by my woman now
I'm gonna stand by my woman now
cause I cant live my life alone
Without a home



and he said that he couldn't stand to hear this song because of the guilt it made him feel "Picture" by Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow


Living my Life in slow ******
different girl every night at the hotel
I ain't seen the sunshine in three damn days
Fueling up on cocaine and whiskey
Wish I had a good girl to miss me
Lord I wonder if I'll ever change my ways

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her

I put your picture away
Sat down and cried today
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to her

{Sheryl Crow}
I called you last night in the hotel
Everyone knows but they won't tell
But there half hearted smiles tell me something just ain't right
I've been waiting on you for a long time
Fueling up on heartaches and cheap wine
I ain't heard from you in three damn nights

I put your picture away
I wondered where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him

I put your picture away
I wondered where you been
I can't look at you while I'm lying next to him

{Mix of Cheryl Crow and Kid Rock}
I saw you yesterday with a old friend
It was the same ol same my with my review been
Since you been gone my worlds been dark and grey

You reminding me of brighter days
I hope you were coming home to stay

I was head of the Church
I was off to drink you away

I thought about you for a long time
Can't seem to get you off my mind
I can't stand why where living life this way

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home

I found your picture today
I swear I'll change my ways
I just called to say I want you to come back home

I just called to say I love you come back home



but my H started seeing OW woman again.....he moved out....and now they are living together


so now the song i can't stand to hear is "what it takes" by aerosmith

There goes my old girlfriend
There's another diamond ring
And of all those late night promises
I guess they don't mean a thing

So baby what's the story
Did ya find another man
Is it easy to sleep in the bed that we made
When you don't look back
I guess the feelings start to fade away

I used to feel your fire
But now it's cold inside
And you're back on the street
Like you didn't miss a beat, yeah

[color:"red"] Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep
In the night, without thinkin' you lost
Everything that was good in your life
To the toss of the dice
Tell me what it takes to let you go, yeah
[/color]


Girl before I met you
I was F.I.N.E. fine
But your love made me a prisoner
Yeah, my heart's been doin' time

[color:"red"]You spent me up like money
N' then you hung me out to dry
It was easy to keep all your lies in disguise
'Cause you had me in deep
With the devil in your eyes [/color]

Tell me what it takes to let you go
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go
Tell me how it is that you can sleep
In the night, without thinkin' you lost
Everything that was good in your life
To the toss of the dice
Tell me what it takes to let you go, guitar

Tell me that you're happy that you're on your own
Yeah yeah yeah
Tell me that it's better when you're all alone
[color:"red"] Tell me that your body doesn't miss my touch
Tell me that my lovin' didn't mean that much [/color]
Tell me you ain't dying when you're cryin' for me

Tell me what it takes to let you go, ooh
Tell me how the pain's supposed to go, yeah
And tell me how it is that you can sleep
In the night, without thinkin' you lost
Everything that was good in your life
To the toss of the dice

Tell me who's to blame for thinkin' twice
No no no no
'Cause I don't wanna burn in paradise, ooh

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 261
C
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C
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 261
Oh I must respond to this. Everytime that I go into this rant: I am done I can't take anymore! This song comes on the radio. It is really biazarre. I have even changed radio stations to find that it is on another station. I have tried to turn off the radio for a while and put on kids music then come back and find that it is on again. It has been haunting me!!!!

I am going to keep on lovin you cuz its the only thing I want to do. I dont' want to sleep I .... REO Speedwagon.


AGGHHGHDS $##@%@#! let me rant and be mad at him sometimes I think.

Oh another favorite is Amy by the Eagles as it is the name of OW- AMy what you want to do, I think I will stay with you for awhile maybe longer..... Another bad one.


After D-Day I couldn't even listen to the radio. Then I realized that all the songs weren't about us- although, I felt like they all addressed problems that we were having. the hoobastank song always gets me. I had a dream one night that H sang it to me. Then I awoke! I am still not sure H feels atleast he is sensitive to turning the station when i am not happy.


I thought I might compile some songs on disk for H and put them in his car. I guess i will have to use different songs so as not to LB. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />


me BW- 29 WH- 29 2kids- 2&5 married 10 years "Love is the gift of self. It means emptying oneslf to reach out to others. In a certain sense, it means forgettung oneself for the good of others."
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,788
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 3,788
My ultimate divorce song: "It's My Life" re-done by No Doubt....at midnight on new years' 2 years ago, my friends had the cover band at the ball play that song for me..as we all had a sickening sensation that that very evening, at midnight also, my xh was marrying his (7 mos) pregnant ow...three days after judge signed our papers.

That song reminds me of how I was duped...how I was lied to for two years from this man...and yet, how I am not going to take it. That my life is MY LIFE...it's not his anymore. There is NO us anymore. There may never have been. It also reminds me of my struggle. How I did all I could do to see if there was any way possible for my child to grow up in a "complete and whole" home with marriage intact. Was not to be. It reminds me of the rosey colored glasses I used to wear daily. Reminds of how I used to have simple blind faith in him. And how I felt after those glasses were ripped off. How I was trying so hard to believe he was NOT the man, the WS he had become..that my H was still alive somewhere down in that dark soul. But the song now to me is a celebration of my struggle to regain ME...that was the hardest. To redefine myself after all that has happened. In the end, I was freed to live my life..To move ahead and to heal, without any regret. MY xh? He is living a life chock full of regret and angst. They fight constantly and separated twice last year...only after then one married year together. He has had TWO affairs that are KNOWN behind her back. He was freed only to remarry the wrong woman...remarry a woman of lies and deceit immediately after leaving our marriage. And he is reaping the rewards of that stupid mistake. I am moving on. And now? I heard the song today. I think now about the future. It's good.

Going back to Nashvegas this weekend. Yep. Seems to now have become the every other weekend ( when I do not have ds) that we spend three days together. He's coming to GA next month though. I never thought two years ago that I'd smile again. Or that I'd experience joy being alone. But I did. And I was and became happy with just me. And that's whammo! When it happened this time. We will see where it goes...but so far, it has real promise. He is a man of substance and character...and well, I am a woman of the same. I am blessed w/the most wonderful child in the entire world. Life is good. It did NOT turn out as I originally planned nor wanted it to. But then again, I think it's always best to learn how to embrace God's curveballs He tosses at us...

My song for you out there healing...thinking...reasoning..


"It's MY Life"...No Doubt

Funny how i find myself in love with you
If i could buy my reasoning I'd would pay to lose
One half won't do
I've asked myself
How much do you commit yourself?

It's my life
Don't you forget
It's my life
It never ends

Funny how i blind myself
I never knew if i was sometimes played upon
Afraid to lose
I'd tell myself what good you do
Convince myself

It's my life
Don't you forget
It's my life
It never ends

I've asked myself
How much do you commit yourself?

It's my life
Don't you forget
Caught in the crowd
It never ends.


me:37 BS; s:7; xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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