BTDT,<P> Thx BTDT. It most assuredly is my prayer that this is the wake up call my W needs to work on the M. <P> As for the door, so far as I know there is no fix for it short of completly replacing it all together. Which is my intention. Other that a few small cuts my hand is fine, no pain or swelling at all. <P> You are correct when you say it is in my heart to fix it. But what if W never decides she wants to fix it? Then what? You don't really need to answer that one. I kind of know already.<P> I do have a question I would like to ask you if you wouldn't mind. But I do not want to ask it here. Could I trouble you for your email address? Either way, Thanks.<P> jd

JD -- don't be so hard on yourself.<BR>I think this may be a catalyst for better things.<P>I'm a fence sitter. There are moments when I am convinced that I should be working on a divorce, and that I could never be happy with my H. And seriously -- a minute later I can believe that I ought to be trying harder to make things work, and that we could have a great future. <P>I can think that OM is my soul mate -- that we met and fell in love for a reason. And yet I can also see that we would be destined for problems and our relationship is not good or strong.<P>My H has been doing a plan A without knowing it before we found MB. Now he's more consciously plan A'ing. It has taken all the pressure off of me for which I am grateful, but it is NOT ending my affair. In fact I am in more contact with OM now than ever. In some ways thats good, because it makes me see more and more that our relationship will someday end.<P>At the same time, if my H reacted the way you did yesterday, or if he decided to move to Plan B...it would probably bring things to a head much quicker. <P>So I personally don't think that your LB's yesterday mean the end of your marriage. I think your stress is a sign that you need (for your sake) to go to plan B. Maybe its even just Plan B until you feel more stable to return to Plan A.<P>Just remember -- that YOU said things in the heat of the moment -- so did SHE. So while she said she would not "ever" come back -- it may have been the anger talking.<P><BR>

just thought I'd throw this out also....<P>From time to time I like to browse through the Notable Posts/THreads list. THere's a LOT of wisdom and expereince in there. You may already do this as well, but if not, go for it. ....A virtual self-help library for marriage-building. <P>here's the link: of course, if you will scroll down you'll see several topics - Plan A Plan B, etc....<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000554.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000554.html</A>

Hi jd,<BR>Hmmmm.... replace the entire door?! REALLY?? There is no way, I'm too cheap. Besides, it's the inside part of the closet so I think what I'll do is just stuff the hole with something, some cloth? Ya think that would work? and then patch it with a gob of plaster!!!!!!!!! I'm too cheap to replace the entire door! <P>I have a better idea, I think I'll make my kid fix it...<p>[This message has been edited by BINthereDUNthat (edited September 06, 2001).]