<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Indecision:<BR><B>...It seems that every time I start to feel like life will go on, another blow is dealt. Yet why is is that WS and OM are doing fine? Why is it that their lives are ok while mine flounders?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Indecision, trust me, they're probably not as OK or fine as you think. Coming from a WS who drifted out of the fog recently, I can barely imagine anyone in their situation really being "fine". <P>I don't know what your story is, but you're a lot better off than they. You're the one who's going to be ok.<BR>Take Care and hang in there buddy, he never gives us more than we can chew...<P>

A GP Dr. can perscripe antidepressants. I have been on Zoloft and am currently on Wellbutrin. Some side effects can be a decrease in libido. Especially with Zoloft which is one reason I switched as of course one of my H EN is sex!!! Call a doc ASAP and get started. They will usually start you out slow and increase your dosage over a couple of days!!! Hang in there!!!!

Inde,<P>I am at work. I read this and need to know how you are doing. You know that I am not far away. Do you need to talk? Let me know & I can give you my number. My H is home and I can let him know about this. In fact, he & I are both available tonight if you need to talk. Might actually be good for my H as well. <P>Please please reconsider doing anything harmful to yourself. There are those who care for you that will hurt deeply and I am sure you know it. <P>I understand your feelings. Been there myself. <P>Take Care,<BR>L. <BR>

indecision,<P>I'm glad to still get the chance to post to you and that you are considering medication. I'm currently on Wellbutrin and Celexa. According to the DR they work on different chemical imbalances so I have them all covered by taking both. The Wellbutrin has helped my mood and helps keep me motivated and the Celexa is great to keep me from crying so often. As someone else here said, the doctor may start with one thing and adjust as you go along. The main thing is to talk to the doctor and don't be afraid to admit that you need help. Stress is an ugly thing and it can do ugly things to your mind and body. Try to eat something but I completely understand if you have to force one meal a day down. My buddies on D/D board suggested fruit because the natural sugar was good fuel for the brain. <P>Good luck to you and never forget that you have many friends here at MB that are here to support you no matter what.<P>PP

I feel very badly for you. The OW was also my best friend. I just found out about the sexual part 2 months ago but it happened almost 6 years ago. Still hurts like ****. The very worst part is they were in MY BED. I haven't slept there since June. I can't tell you had much that part of it hurts. <P>My H is going to counseling again and on medication. He's been saying he's sorry, etc. but he also lied blatantly about it for 6 years to PROTECT HER and save her marriage. She is now divorced, a lot of good it did. I know I will never completely trust anybody again. I am working to save my marriage but it is very hard sometimes. I know it will be worth it in the end.<P>How long have you been separated? This is none of my business, just an honest opinion. Do you think you are ready to date right now? You are still married right?<P>I hope you can go to counseling and medication can really help. I take serzone. Prayer works wonders too! good luck.

I really recommend effexor- its the only anti-depressant that fights both depression and anxiety- its like prozac with a punch! REALLY keeps me from crying too much. Plus my doctor said its the fastest acting because of its short half life! ( I was sobbing my guts out on Valentines day as she was telling me this!) Any good gp could prescribe it. You start at a low dose then can work up to a 150 mg time release capsule once a day- that what I am on now. Doesnt affect my sex drive. Pray for STRENGTH. Strength by the minute by minute, then hr by hr.... God will never leave you nor forsake you though you feel like you are alone- you really are not. Read Psalm 34- it will comfort you. Quit focusing on THEM think about you. They are living in a fantasy land believe me- think of your W as temporarily insane. You are stronger than you know. Take care- lifeismessy

Once again, thanks so much to everyone for all the support. I really needed it today. Head still in a vise. Spoke to a mutual friend of mine and the OM about it. Him and his wife have been the most supportive of me during this time, and they saw how great I was doing, and after I told him this he could not believe it. He absolutely cannot believe that this 'friend' would do this, and assures me he is feeling guilty about it. Still working this out in my head.

Just to clarify above:<P>Spoke to a mutual friend of mine and the OM about it.<P>Means I spoke to a true friend that is also friends with the OM, but not really anymore. Found out since I told him and his wife this story she admitted while he was on a business trip, OM took his wife out to a bar with friends and got her drunk. Said if she had been weak she might have fallen. The thing is that this guy is quite unattractive and is aware of it, and I guess he has used this strategy to get women before and knows it works. Although I have already moved on from wanting reconciliation with my wife(we've been separated 2 mos now), I do want to hurt OM. I know this may be selfish and self-serving, but I want to really let him know that he did major damage, and that if not for him, I might still be happily married today. There are two ways to do this in my mind: I can tell him I no longer suspicious of him and that I'm glad he's been such a good friend, blah blah blah and let the guilt eat him up. Or I can do what everyone else does and confront him and tell him that I know the truth and where I think he can go. Like jdmac1 told me today, the only thing that comforts me(besides all of you MB's that offered support to me) is that I know I want to move on and leave my selfish wife behind.

Inde,<P>Sounds like the OM thinks he is god's gift to women. Ugly or not he is charming to a certain degree. <P>Piece of advice?? Don't throw your pearls before swine! <P>Even if you did either one of those things, think he is smart enough to appreciate it? Many of us have wasted time, energy and money trying to educate OPs. Basically they are not worth it because if they had redeeming qualities to that effect, they would not have been in the positions they were in. Mind you some of our mates could be those OPs. Harsh as it is, it is a thing they have to learn on their own. <P>So to tell or not to tell. Well, if you tell and it is not received are you going to have any regrets? Can you just say and walk away regardless of how it is received? <P>L.<BR>

And I believe that gives you a leg up on not only that jerk you thought was a friend but on your personal road to the recovery of your emotions.<P> As for the other man and hurting him. I'm with you brother. I know how you feel 100%. All I can say is that if I were you(and I kind of am in that I have an OM in my life as well)I would set back and watch what God will do to the other man. See your faith has been tested to the very limits during all this. If you survive with your faith intact, or even if you don't, Gods revenge on this evil person will unfold, eventually, right before your eyes. Believe in 'WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND'. "Vengence is Mine" saith The Lord. And He WILL have it.<P> Sorry for preaching, but I do believe in what I am saying.<P> jd

yes! what jd said! you go guy!