Faith1,<P>Good to hear from you. I'm glad things have turned around for you. <P>I'm in the process of gathering some info that will let me know if they are still talking and how frequently. Also, I will know soon if he is in Junior Achievement with her again. She knows I know he was in JA with her last year, and she hasn't mentioned that she will be starting again next week. Until I get that info, I will continue to plan A. What I find out will dictate my course of action. Assuming he is in JA with her and the phone contact hasn't diminished, it shows total disregard for me and our marriage. I may have no other choice but to file. If it pushes her off the fence to him, I can live with it. It's almost 6 months past d-day and it's time I regain some self-respect and maybe some respect from her.<P>sad dad<p>[This message has been edited by sad dad (edited October 02, 2001).]

sd,<BR>I agree. Keep us posted on what you find out.<P>

Hi,<P>I know where you are at. Been there myself. As scary as it was (at least in thought, I was petrified), the reality of going to plan B, H moved out, etc. was not as bad as I imagined. <P>WS wanted space, oh he kept saying that over and over. Finally he got the space and guess who was the one who adapted better? Me. Right. Then he wanted back. The pendelum swing/waffle stuff. That was bad for me. But I focused so much on bringing him home that I was losing sight of me. I was allowing WS and OW to hurt me. <P>Ok, on the 1st Saturday in March, I had a dream. Gave me confidence. Don't laugh. Well go ahead, it is kind of funny. But I got confidence anyway. Told H to go ahead with the D paperwork, in fact, hurry up. I was anxious to get on with my life. <P>Hello?@!?!?! wake up call to H and scared OW. Not in my plan, just kinda turned out that way. Now they both did not know what came over me. I never told H about that dream but I will be ever grateful to G Clooney (even if he is a lady's man or so I am told....). It was just a dream.<P>What I am trying to say, is that you need to find what gives you the drive to look out for your interests and that of your family. Let the WS wallow in the mucky A. In reality, the A is never that nice anyway. They have their bad days too. Kind of nice to know that. I used to file that thought away and save it for when a depressing mood came over me. <P>After that I was able to send H a note and tell him to go and live with OW until he got over his guilt. Hm..... I meant it. H didn't think so but I did. Then guess what, gave him his rope, like he said he wanted and then he took a look at the real OW and said YUCK!!!! Took a while but he still says yuck. Of course there are times he still likes her and he can go to her, but he can't come back and he knows it. No sided waffle. Can't be done. So I removed my side of his waffling. <P>Not sure how much of this makes sense. I am getting kinda tired. Sorry for the rambiling. <P>Take Care & <<<hugs>>><BR>L.<P>

Orchid,<P>I would plan B in heartbeat if my W would leave, but she won't. She never says she needs space or anything like that. I may talk to her about a separation agreement one more time. I really don't understand why she won't agree to it. If we agree to 50/50 shared custody, she (and I) are both protected in future custody proceedings and she will have the freedom to do whatever she wants. I just don't think she wants tp agree to anything in writing. I guess I can't worry about what she will or won't do or has or hasn't done. I've got to do what's best for me.<P>sad dad