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Everyone,<p> Well, my WS has called off and on on Thursday. I kept the plan and didn't talk to her. She of course wouldn't leave a message. She is coming to my office at 9am to get the kids. It is going to be hard seeing her, but I know that it will also be good to see her. I just wanted to let you all know that I am still around.<p>Indy<p>[ November 17, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Everyone,<p> She just called my office. She asked were she can pick up the kids. That means that she called my parents house. She was very short. Once I said at my office she just said thanks. I guess she is going to be late again.<p>Indy

INDY_357,
Keep your posture and keep it short contact. Did you tell her that how long you are going to wait incase she is late and no call ?. I would leave within 30 minute of no show and leave message n her phone.<p>Hang in there Indy, proud of you.

Redhat,<p> Thanks for the support.<p>Everyone,<p> I took the kids with me to get a haircut. She was 30 minutes late. SHe walked in my office right after I left. My boss told her that I just left and she tore out after me. Needless to say she missed me and the kids. She called my office and told my boss that she would like me to call her. No sooner did I show up so did she. I went to put my uniform on and came to send the kids off with her. I wanted her to see me in my uniform. I don't know why. I guess I wanted her to see me as she always did when she came into the office. Of course she didn't bring SD. I would love to see that girl I miss her deeply. <p> She did ask if she could pick up her stuff today and I said that would be impossible since I have to work today and that I still need to get the things together. I then told her that I can't talk about it now. She said fine and that she was sorry that she was late. I told her that is was ok. I was very calm with her. I looked her in the eye when I talked to her. I don't know but man I just wanted to reach out and touch her. I hunger to do that again and it really SUCKS that she doesn't want me too. I will check in alittle later. It is time to start contracting kids into the Marine Corps.<p>Indy<p>[ November 17, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

INDY,<p>Way to go. I don't know how you could restraint yourself not to let your emotions take control. I would not be able to. Let her start doing "you love me and you love me not". [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I have to bring my 2 D to the Christmas play rehearsal, roller skating practice & sailing. I will check in later ... get busy as much as I can.

Redhat,<p> Now that everything has calmed down alittle bit. I was hurtful to see her, but I didn't let it show. I wonder if she noticed. I guess I will have to wait and see. <p>Let her start doing "you love me and you love me not". <p> I don't think that she is asking herself that. She knows that I love her. She knows that I don't want this. <p>Indy<p>[ November 17, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Everyone,<p> I feel as the time grows near for my WS to drop off the kids the more troubled I get. It is almost like I trying to avoid it. I don't know why. I just hope that I show the same stregth that I showed at the office. Is this feeling normal?<p>Indy

Friends,<p> Well, she is late again. I guess I will have to get my lawyer to send her a message concerning the time she is to drop them off by and her support issues. This is rediculas. She is acting like a child. I don't see a good way for me to do it without LB all over the place. She just needs to respect the fact that she needs to at least have some responsibility. Am I wrong??<p>Indy

Indy,
Well, she is late again. I guess I will have to get my lawyer to send her a message concerning the time she is to drop them off by and her support issues. This is rediculas.
Agreed, you should do it but send voice mail before as a warning after you get the lawyer send the letter. Breif to the point, no LB.
She is acting like a child. I don't see a good way for me to do it without LB all over the place. She just needs to respect the fact that she needs to at least have some responsibility. Am I wrong??
As long as you do it to the point and no unreasonable demand or judgment, it is not an LB. IMVHO, do it quick before it get to you irregardless what reason she had. You just have to state the fact and the occurances then put your demand. No judgment on why or intent.<p>What time did she dropped S ?.

Everyone,<p> I found out why she was late. The van is broken down again. She called and asked if I had gotten her pages. I then immediately knew that she was the one that called my cell phone the other day. I told her no that I didn't. She told me about the van and I said fine I will get the kids. I then asked her where she was and that was a stupid question. She said that she was at the OM's house. If they are such a good couple and this is where she is living then why not tell me she is at her house? She also asked if I knew where it was. Of course she knew that I did. I drove out there and I called from the road. She brought the kids out and I put the kids in the truck and she immedately went into the stuff into the agreement just like at my office. I asked her to close the door and she said no. I then just pulled away and the door closed on its own. While I was pulling away she said that you had ten days to get me that stuff and she also called me an a**hole. What did I do wrong? I just can't win can I?<p>Indy<p>[ November 17, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Indy,
At this point you take care of yourself and that what exactly plan B is for. As long as you protect yourself you are winning. You are doing good. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>... she immedately went into the stuff into the agreement just like at my office.<p>could you refresh me on the agreement, just curious ?.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by INDY_357:
<strong> I put the kids in the truck and she immedately went into the stuff into the agreement just like at my office. I asked her to close the door and she said no. I then just pulled away and the door closed on its own. While I was pulling away she said that you had ten days to get me that stuff and she also called me an a**hole. What did I do wrong? I just can't win can I?
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Indy,
It's a power struggle you are engaged in.....control issue. Don't fight it. Let her be. Give her the dam* stuff.....don't get down and dirty with the fight. Let her wonder what is up then.<p>Believe me, the "stuff" and who possesses it isn't going to "make or break" your M. I read once about one woman whose WH had even gone so far as to open joint bank acct. w/OW? See? They want to "share" and get on with their lives. Well, HE came home after the A ended.<p>Just go with the flow. The more you fight against her, the harder she fights YOU.....give in.....then she has nothing to fight. Just the wind. And HE can't "build himself up" in her eyes by calling you names and justifying himself by comparing to your attitude(they prolly BOTH do that!).<p>Make any sense? I'm just really only now starting to understand any of this. ANybody else wanna take a stab at this & Explaining it to Indy and me?<p>Lupo

Redhat,<p> She some of her pictures of when she was in high school and the things that belonged to her father. Those things I really don't have a problem with. That was what I and my lawyer agreed to. That kept her out of court. She then submitted a list of stuff from the house that had nothing to do with her dad. I of course told them no way. She got what she asked for originally. I called and left a message with my lawyer and he will call me on Monday. If she wants this stuff so bad then she needs to pay her child support bill. <p>Indy

Hello All,<p> Sorry that I cut out last night. I think that I needed sometime to think alittle bit. I talked to my cousin about last night. He thinks that I should just talk to the lawyer on Monday about drafting the final divorce papers and have them sent to her. He said that she needs bounderies set, because she thinks that she can do anything she wants too. I tend to agree with the bounderies. <p> I talked to my kids on the way back to my parents house and they told me that my SD was there and that she was upstairs. I just wish that she would have come down to see me. My son told me that she was spending the night over there with them. That really hurt my son and I. To see your child in pain caused by his own mother is almost unbearable. I have said this once before about how she kept things and pictures of other people that she was with before me. She has given everything that has to do with me back. It looks like she is even doing that with the kids that we had together. It is like she is trying to erase a big mistake in her life. I and the kids are that mistake. I don't know any other way to say it. Does anyone have any insight into this kind of a situation?<p> Also, I would like some insight as to what she said to me last night please. When I asked where she was at she said that she was at the OM's house. Is there any reason that she just didn't say at her house. I know that is where she has been living. <p>Indy<p>[ November 18, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Everyone,<p> I called my lawyer's office last night after I was at the OM's house. I think that I will go to the storage facility and get the stuff that she listed in the agreement. I will try and return it on Saturday. I think that I will just drive it out to their house. I think that the only thing that I have to look forward to is being a divorced man. I never expected to see myself in this position, but I understand that life always throws cruves at you to make life what it is. LIFE. I don't know if I am wrong or not but I think that we should just send her a final divorce settlement and the kids and I will leave when my orders come in from Headquarters. Am I overreacting to this situation? I don't know if I am or not.<p>Indy<p>[ November 18, 2001: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Where did my post goes ? ... darn it. I reply to you earlier before I left to bring D to practice.<p>Return all the one in the list but the one that she demands and if you think it is out of line let your lawyer handle it and ask for child support.<p>He thinks that I should just talk to the lawyer on Monday about drafting the final divorce papers and have them sent to her. <p>Let her filed it not you. Normal WS behavior, they could say my SO Dv me, the b@st@rd !!!. For now get to the issues and leave it there.<p>I think that I will just drive it out to their house. I think that the only thing that I have to look forward to is being a divorced man.<p>Drive around with your S to the park & play baseball. It would not change a bit and if WW see you she probably have a calendar marked with the occurance, don't give her that pleasure.<p>I never expected to see myself in this position, but I understand that life always throws cruves at you to make life what it is <p>No one does, I value M so much too, my W is my first and only woman that I have. We have to deal with it. We will survive as many before us when the Dv comes. IMHO, Give it time ... only time could reveal it ... don't finalized it yet until you are ready. When you have no more feeling for WW and start to "hate" her.

Redhat,<p> She filed for divorce back in Feb. She wanted to get it done real quick like. I think that she has made herself clear. She wants my SD and the both of them to be a family. Like the kids and i never existed. That is hard to bear, but I now realize that I was meant to be alone. I don't know why I just do. <p>Indy

Indy,<p>Time will heal you. For now you have to be come to term w/ yourself. Take your time. I don't know what Z will say about this.

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