Shwond:<p>Why didn't you wait until you got a divorce before having your affair? I find it particularly unsettling (cruel?) that "you went looking for someone to fill your gaps." That decision was clearly yours and not because your husband forced you into this situation. Did you talk to your husband about your needs?<p>If you are here to consider working on your marriage you will receive support, in that this is a marriage BUILDING site. It's doubtful you will receive much sympathy if you are simply trying to justify your actions.