Kily
Thanks for your response on my thread. I'll comment on yours later on, when I have privacy.

Thinking of you,
H_P

Ps thanks for the Valentine's Day wishes. How was yours?

Kily,

You need to talk to your lawyer. Here is why. This IS NOT ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS FOR HIM. It is about breaking the control he has over you. The more you differ, the longer he only pays half of the mortgage. What are you going to do when he marries her and brings into the house and you STILL own 1/2 of it? Answer me that question.

Kily, this is business. You are confusing it with your feelings. He is NOT going to settle this without lawyers or he would have already. Just to get rid of the woman the hurt him so. He didn't do that. He has a very sweet deel and he isn't going to let go of it.

It isn't his call whether lawyers are involved or not. If you want out, he has two options, buy you out as you wished, or see a lawyer and let the fighting begin. It is NOT his call.

I suppose you could move in. I know for sure I would remove my stuff from there if I wasn't living there. Then he either settles up or the house goes on the market, or he goes to court.

You should talk to him ONCE. Tell him you want out of his life NOW. Because frankly until you get out of his life, you don't have a chance of ever being in it. My personal opinion is that the break must be clean and complete before he will ever see you in any other light than he does. He needs to address his issues and he won't as long as he has you to blame.

Young Lady, quit the romantic feelings stuff (stern face inserted here <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ) and get with the program. You have a life to lead, several children to help raise, and your exBF is NOT contributing to these very important goals by his OWN choice. He has chosen another woman. That woman was foolish enough to agree.

Trust me on this Kily, you don't want to be the woman he is engaged to. You really really don't. I hope he is happy, and I hope she is happy, but I'm telling you, you wouldn't be in the circumstances of their marriage IF it happens.

Get out of his life anyway you can and do it now. Then if there is anything there, or it "is meant to be", it has a chance to be.

This is business, and it is about your son, don't be confusing feelings up in something that must be done. I am very seriousl about this.

God Bless,

JL

JL - Again many thanks to you.

I am intending on continuing the presence of the lawyer. For me, it is my way of protecting myself from guilt trips, anger trips, and as you stated -control trips.

I'm not so certain if I even want to sit and talk with him on the issues becauase there seems to be NOTHING really to talk about. What is the point? So he can try to convince me to settle for 25%? Truthfully, I think he LIKES status quo...Does he believe that she will want all of my stuff there when she moves in and that I will quietly dissappear? That will happen once the mortgage is signed...

He called me out of blue on Saturday night to see if I waned to meet him and DS at Chuck E Cheese so we could "talk" about the issues! My response to this was a "no" because I felt that this was an inappropriate setting for this kind of discussion. Plus, He was giving me no notice of any kind! It was either "do this now, or not at all!" This of course really hurt me because I would have given anything to spend time with them. I simply felt that it was a ploy to get me to back off from my current plan.

My request was to set a time when DS would NOT be present where we could sit and seriously discuss this. Does anyone think that this is an out of line request? I felt that such a public place with all of the chaos going on would be counter-productive to reaching some sort of resolution. Or was this a ploy by him to see if I was still willing to jump through hoops to be with him?

Did I miss out on an opportunity here? I keep kicking myself, thinking that it could have been a healing event.

I have been avoiding as much contact with him as I can. He pointed this out when he extended the invitation. His opinon was that I'm not giving him a chance to even get a word in edgewise...Maybe it's because I'm firm in wanting to settle all of this and move forward already.

At the end of this week, I intend on notifying him in writing that he needs to either see my lawyer and have this settled, or I will be moving in. I need to be forceful to ensure that he will carry through with his verbal commitment.

This is SO scary.

Kily,
I won't pretend to know much about the legal issues. I have always disliked those sorts of wranglings, and I don't know have good advice there.

I wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. You're right on the Chuck E Cheese thing. Good grief, I can't even barely hear myself think there. You need to discuss this stuff without DS around.

Perhaps it's good that you're unavailable to him now. It might make him see what he's missed out on, all this time.

I don't think I'd dream of moving in there, at all..by the way. I'm Putting the legal stuff aside.) Do you want this for your son? You moving in, and you and his dad at such great odds. Just a thought.

Take care dear one,
H_P