We talked all night last night. He is out of the fog. He is coming home friday. Ready to work on things, do marriagebuilders with me, agreed to everything. No contact, offered to quit everquest. I am soooo happy. I am being cautiously optimistic but feel like the tides have turned in my favor.
Just wanted to give the update.
Thanks for helping me guys!
Love ya!
Layli

Alright layli!! I know you still have a long road ahead but that's still great news. I can only imagine how you must feel right now. Good luck to you. I can't wait to read how things go!

My dear dear Layli

I am so pleased for you. Yes be optimistic, be happy, but now the hard work begins.

Keep us posted, and wishing you well from London.

Lisa

WOO WOO Layli!!!!!
I am very happy to hear the news, and I wish the best on both of your journeys to a better and glorious marriage.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

layli,

That is awesome!!! As others have said the hard work begins, but through MB you know what the work is that needs to be done!!! And you can do it!!!!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

waoth thow lwlkj....

Sorry, hard to talk with my jaw on the floor!!!

Well I am soooo happy for you!! But 2 things...be ready for withdrawls and probable setbacks, and be ready for a possible false recovery. I'm not saying that will happen...but it can and does. We had too many to even count! (but at the time we hadn't discovered marriage builders either)

Don't waver on your boundries...find the strength that you're not sure you have (but WE KNOW you have!!!) and remember that it WON'T drive him AWAY, it will only give him more respect for you!

Anyway, I'm SUPER happy for you and hope things are all downhill from here!! (or is it uphill??)

thanks for all your replies guys. couldn't have made it this far without you.
Hope, I brought up the withdrawls to him and told him it would be hard, like giving up an addiction, he said it didn't matter all that mattered was me.
He is going to come and start posting here so other FWS can help him through the tough times with me.
He was so open about issues he'd had for a long time. I felt like it was the first time we really talked in forever. He was completely accountable for what he had done, very pleased.
Boundaries are set and will not be compromised again. I have all his passwords and he is telling her No contact. Feel like he is really open and more importantly appreciative of his second chance.
I know the fog doesn't end in a day but it's like I told him, "It wont be easy but I promise it will be worth it."
So nice to let the happiness in, i just want to pinch myself.
BTW he changed his passwords to something that had to do with our fresh start, very sweet.
Don't know if I mentioned it earlier but we are planning on renewing our vows this August on our 5ht anniversary.
i love you guys so much. I really mean it, i would have been so lost without you.
(((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))
Layli

layli - I am so happy for you!!!! Good luck with all the hard work ahead. Things sound very promising, and I will pray for you that they continue to go well. I think that it's a beautiful idea to renew your vows in August!

Just one question: you say your H has agreed on NC, have you sat down and written a NC letter to OW?

Jen

Layli, I am very ahppy for you. Are the two of you going to get counseling? WS and I are in that now and it helping tremendously to have a 3rd party help us through issues.. my h is not as willing as yours yet.... but he wants to save the marriage... just not wanting to come yet.. but talking about it.

Congrats!

honey

Find the place within yourself that loves your husband with all your soul .... then use that place as your center for future discussions and interactions.

If you feel you have wandered off to a "bad place", and spoken to him away from your loving center .... excuse yourself and say: "I am going to go away for a little while to re-center my mind and settle down my emotions. When I do that, I'd like to continue this dicussion."

Lordy .... I wish I had done this in our earliest recovery! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> I didn't know nuttin' back then!

Stay true to the better part of yourself.

Pep

Great stuff Layli, I am soo envious <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> Neil.

Thanks again for all the great posts guys. Any suggestions on what his NC letter should say?
Except stay the hell away from us lol
Any suggestions would be great guys thanks
Layli

Layli, do you have SAA? It has some sample NC letters. Basically it says I'm sorry I did this grave injustice to my spouse, I can no longer continue in a harmful manner to my marriage, we can no longer speak, I regret my actions. Nothing mushy, no "I'll always care" or "thanks for the memories"...just simple remourse and goodbye.

If you don't have Love Busters, Surviving an Affair and His Needs Her Needs you might want to get them. They're all pretty inexpensive and will give you two something to start working on right away while he's still on his initial high.