THANKS JAKE My favorite line is "she wolf in a shepherds skin" .... priceless!

Susan, Jake's poem is a pretty accurate portrait of me hitting him on da'haid with a 2X4, some years back.

His loving, artistic rendition of the massacre. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> I guess ya had ta be there! I think I left a mark!

Jake was fogged in his 4 year affair. I had a few words to say to him. His name was Tristran at the time. Remember Jake?

LOL!

You mean that BYTCH was YOU, Pepper? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Why yaiz.... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

pepper a bytch--never!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

ROFLOLPIP <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Why yaiz.... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Pepper, you sounded just like Scarlet O'Hara when you said that... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Suz

Pepper - It may be presumptuous of me, but from reading some of your recent posts I gather that you are having some "rubber meets the road" issues with your son. Nothing, not even the marital problems I'm having, compares to the CHOICE questions I had to make as a parent regarding my children. To be responsible for the growth and nurturing of another human being humbled me, dropped me to my knees at times. I feared that I would make a CHOICE for one of my kids that would stifle their life force, or steer one of them in a direction that was not what their spirit truly cried out for. It is an awesome responsibility, being a parent.

In The Soul's Code by James Hillman, the main idea is that at birth we are each like an acorn, with the potential to become a great oak tree. What happens to us throughout our life either enhances or suppresses our potential. As a parent, our task is to nurture the oak child, but as a parent we have our own agendas. A parent is not always able to see the potential of the oak child because of those agendas.

Now that my children are adults I don't make CHOICES for them anymore, and I have to say it's a relief. Since they are still evolving, I can't say what kind of effect I've had on them. Maybe I'll never know. So far, even though my marital problems have caused me more time in shock than anything my children confronted me with, the decisions I made regarding my children still seem more important. That's what made me decide to write to you, to let you know that raising a child is the most difficult thing I've ever done, and to let you know that I feel for you.

Thank you, Pepper, for the generosity you have shown us on these boards. I am thinking of you.

Lablady

Lablady made me get up and dance and twirlllll around the room! THANK YOU

Mr. Pepper said nearly the same exact thing a few days ago. ~~~"This is so much harder than repairing our marriage after our problems. My God this hurts."~~~

You have lifted me. I feel like such a failure sometimes.

Whew, I thought I might get hit upside the haid!!!

Lablady

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You have lifted me. I feel like such a failure sometimes. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I absolutely cannot believe this. You should NEVER feel like a failure. YOU, PEPPER, of all people!! NEVER!

I thought all the same things that lablady said, but I am sorry I didn't express them earlier in the day so you could twirl around the office.

With a son going on 23, I know that relief. Raising children is hard... much harder than repairing the marriage. I agree!

((Susan)) "I feel like such a failure sometimes" .... is exactly why *feelings* should not be our major compass in life! I feel that way, then, I don't. Some of the "feeling like a failure sometimes" is my pridefullness. As if I were to good ...to good to make foolish mistakes, mis-steps, and make prat falls right on my face. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

OF COURSE I make mistakes and fail .... duh! I am human or hu-woman!

Failure is only in the mind anyway. It can always be re-framed to mean something good is about to unfold. A teachable moment.

Good grief, Pepper. You are always one step ahead of me. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hopefully by the time I get your age I will be so wise. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

take a break and IM me, and we will work on that dialect now! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

What were you like as a child?

pepper- i want to write to you being adopted myself, and my brother also. i understand some of what you are dealing with but i think the issues of his mental health and adoption are two different issues. id like to discuss this with you.

Pepper:

"I am human or hu-woman!"

No, you're hu-(wo-(wo-(wo-(wo-(wo...)))))

It never ends! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Thanks to you and lablady for the shift in perspective on this "choice" stuff. I can't say I agree right now that raising kids is harder than fixing my M, because I haven't done that yet, assuming I will. We did have SF last night, though, and she didn't have bad dreams. But this morning is WEIRD. She's very aloof. Keeping busy. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

♥ Qfwfq

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> We did have SF last night, though, and she didn't have bad dreams. But this morning is WEIRD. She's very aloof. Keeping busy </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That is all a part of the dance...

She got closer for that time...but then pulls away

PS...I ordered the Dell. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Jake was fogged in his 4 year affair. I had a few words to say to him </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Pepper, I wish you had said some words to me when I was fogged in MY long term affair.

Or did you? I don't remember if you were around then.

Sad to say, but I may not have listened back then....or I listened and didn't hear <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

Jake is to be honored in my soul book as one of the people who stood up to my "righteous" outrageous battering .... and fought back (although he was waaaay underqualified to match me in a street fight ...LOL!) He is one of the few people I really blew my stack with on a message board .... I found myself YELLING that he was a horse's [censored] ....... and he managed to maintain himself throughout the business I was laying on him. I trust Jake to tell me the truth, because I don't frighten him.

I refer to him as my brother sometimes, cuz we can fight like snapping lizzards, but maintain a closeness.

Ain't that cool <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

That was on another board, not MB, right?