Have you considered recording him?
There are a few BS's who have put small voice activated recorders in their WS's vehicles.

Then you could hear what he really says when he's not in your presence.

They are easy to conceal, and work really well.

I am so sorry to read your story. I have lurked on here for awhile but this is one of my few posts.

Over the years my husband has lied and kept the truth from me until finally an EA turned into a PA and he lied about it.
My constant criticism of him over the years didn't help and encouraged him to run to the woman who thought he was great.

We have had many arguments over the years when I had caught him in one more lie or concealment. It usually ended with me ranting and raging and him running away to the couch or to a friend's house, and we would eventually, sort of, work it out a few days later.

After the A I decided I was going to do things differently (the same old way hadn't been solving anything) and let him see the pain I was feeling. Instead of instant anger I showed him how hurt I was, the pain, the crying, the "why?"s. After a day or two I offered him an opportunity to tell me about all the times he had been tempted by women since we had known each other (we were pretty well committed since the night we me...love at first site). I told him I wouldn't get mad or hurt, I just wanted to hear it and that it was OK to hear it. I talked at length about how keeping the lies inside were making his heart colder and darker and keeping him from feeling the love around him that he deserved. That by telling the truth he could truly start on a path of honesty with a clean slate. It worked, and although I'm not confident he told me every detail (can you ever know enough?), he told me about events I hadn't realized had been going on (asking a female coworker to lunch, visiting an old girlfriend, etc). I felt great and horrible at the same time, but better to feel horrible all at once than to find out little facts and stretch it out.

3, it sounds as though your H is more concerned about hurting the OW than about hurting you. As though he thinks she is more fragile than you are. How about showing him how fragile you are, and how you're REALLY taking this? I know, without LBing, it's hard (and I must say, there were a few angry outbursts, but much fewer than was our norm). I've always felt uncomfortable crying in front of my husband, as though I'm using tears to manipulate him, but it helped when he heard me from the other room cry my hardest (thought my eyes would pop...) Have to tell myself these are honest feelings, not feelings for his sake...

Good luck!

SHMI

LEXXXY - hi , yes cinsidered it ALOT .

I have a recording of then on phone from when I was not home .
Now the car thing well kinda hard , not impossiable . SEE company car , H very parinoid always checking car , see if I was in it he cleans it out top to bottom to see if I drop anything by accednet (OF CORSE once i droped my lipstick LOL) she found it , said, it was my daughter playing with it and must have took it out of my bag , she does those things . (he got away with it )

IF I am in car 1or 2x's a month its alot , we use mine (being it is company car )

so to start and stop and recover is diffucult .

He also parks in garage so that if she ever tried to find out where I live she would never see his car and he won't get court living here (bastered I know)

Also he is pretty paraniod cause OF all the way I tracked him 2 years ago ( I mean I was GOOD ) he never knew I could do half of what I did .

THOUHGT he was really good , see he is and always was a weird private type just him .

I am working on something though and really can't talk about that here cause someone may check in on this , there is spy crap on computer .

thanks all ideas are welcome .

SHMI- thank you to , thanks for sharing .

MY posts are long and things get lost I also started history IN JFO .

YES , I understand the approach and I have to try the no LB thing cause just like you there was that problem in us always fighting YELLING round and round . NOthing gets solved .

BUT I am not the type who never cried , I on the other hand always cried , so then he was sick of it and yes , makes fun of it called me baby and said, how useless tears are why would anyone get upset like that all the time .

SO from way back , that has no affect .

NOW since he came home , yes in the begining I was calm and quit and I did cry to express my hurt .
IT would make him cry , now again no affect . HE does not make fun but gets nerves and walks away or trys to make me laugh .

And the open the trueth will set you free , YES way back in the posts you can see I have done compasion , understanding , i am ok with trueth thing and I really am .

NOPE not this jacka$$ , He won't tell the trueth this time cause HE LIVES AT HOME NOW , so he won't tell me he has a relationship with her , or loves her or is sleeping with her .

CAUSE he still uses the little excuse that when he started sleeping with her he was not living out of house (lie)

THANKS for advice , I am doing or trying very hard to do the calm thing .

3,

Just want you to know I read your posts. Am doing the 4 day double shifts so am only on in morning Pacific time, or evening. Until Sun-Tues.

Sorry you are going thru it.

I understand.

Keep trying to do the calm thing. No LB's.

Glad you are posting. I know you are hurting. I know it is hard.

Do your plan A and then, whatever happens, you know you did your best, IN SPITE OF IT ALL.

Well we all have our opinions here. You never answered me about anti-depressants, which really reallyreally help. Or counseling. Which you might need. Healthy people seek counseling. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

3, I'm praying for you. God is not far away. Seek God. PLEASE. Would you think about reading those Psalms? could you answer me on a few things here?

Keep going 3. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> God will give you answers, and tell you what you need to do.

By the way, there is a thing called adhesive VELCRO, chich you can use to put that tape recorder under seat where WS can't see or feel, perhaps he is not feeling up under seat where he can find such things.

Sorry for you.
Praying.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

<small>[ April 26, 2003, 12:27 AM: Message edited by: Miss M ]</small>

Hi 3.

Been putting this off for a while, but I think it's time I quit posting on MB. I mainly only come here now to see how things are going with you, and I'll still check up on you <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , but I don't think I'm in a position to give any more advice. I really hope things work out for you, and like I said, I'll still lurk now and then and check on you. Take care of yourself.
((((((((3)))))))

3,

Hope all goes well for you this weekend.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

I think thr road here that I am on is called a STALE MATE

I want WS to choose , and he wants me to choose .

I DO NOT WANT TO MAKE THE CHOICE , CAUSE I WANT HIM TO MAKE THE CHOICE.

HE DON'T WANT TO MAKE A CHOICE CAUSE HE PROBBLY HAS NOT DECIED WITCH CHOICE IS BEST FOR HIM ( ME OR HER )

EVER ONCE IN AWHLIE I DO A LIST , THINGS I WON'T DO LIST (AT THE MOMENT )

1-WON'T CALL OW (YET)
2- WON'T EXPOSE A (FAMILY & FREINDS)
3- I WON'T GO FOR DIVORCE(EVER)
4- WILL NOT LET THIS B1TCH AROUND MY KIDS(UNLESS HE D ME)

I GUESS THERE IS SOME I CAN DO AND SHOULD DO AND TRY TO DO ;

1 - BE SUPPORTIVE OF HIM
2-NOT ASK ABOUT OW
3- NOT YELL OR BELITTLE HIM
4-NOT TALK IN FRONT OF KIDS

YOU KNOW WHAT I GOT TO LET GO ,THERE SHOULD BE NOTHING LEFT IN THE L-BANK
I TRHOUGHT ABOUT THAT WHEN LEXXXY SAID IT , BUT YOU KNOW WHAT .

THIS DEPOSIT THING IS SCREWED UP , CAUSE HE DOES MAKE DEPOSITS , THATS WHAT MESSES THIS UP .

YOU KNOW WHAT , WHAT HAPPENS IF I JUST BELIVE HIM .

REALLY SIT BACK AND SAY OH YES THIS IS ALL TRUE POOR H IN SUCH A MESS AND KNOW WAY OUT .

NEVER MIND I CAN'T POST TODAY I AM ALL F'ED UP .

TALK LATER .

3,

I liked your list. Both of them.

I understand your need to have WS make up his own mind, rather than you forcing the issue. I forced the issue, and it pretty much worked. The contact with ow tapered off, still contact for another 2 1/2 months, but it died.

We won't talk about ow leaving messages, trying to destroy me. Anyway. Off subject. I finally had to beg FWS to make that no contact call. He did.
But it didn't happen overnight.

Sorry you are feeling messed up today. Hope you stick to your list.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

LUVBIRD-I am going to miss ya not posting and not posting to me <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> AS you can see I don't have much of a fan club LOL, your advice has been greatly appreciated and your encouragement has helped me to stay strong . I will miss ya teary:

MISS M - thanks for checking in , things are pretty misarable . I guess he is not all to blame , most but not all .
fri- he came in at 6 am , I was asleep again , he woke me at 8am hent to deli and got breackfast , I ate with him talked , not much about anything .

He kissed me told me he is a $hitty HUSBAND and sorry again . I just said, when your ready for honesty I will be willing to listen ,not judge .

HE only commented about OW and said, she is getting fed up .

SAT . - we needed to leave for communion at 4pm , he called her , witch flipped me out .

HE said, he was nervous cause we are going out and she will probbly call so he wanted to do so first so she won't call while we are out (because heaven forbid he would ignore the call )

That set me off <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I told him the lies are so transparent that I can not even look at him when he says them . And that he looks and sounds foolish saying something so outragous . I told him please just say I want to call $lut , cause I want to .

anyway church was beutiful and part was good , kids had a great time , saw some family that I hasven' seen in a awile . good food, company etc.

H was affectionate , witch us alittle different in public for him , family took notice .

Sun - started ok I had a really bad couple of dreams and when I do that I wake up cranky .

Needless to say that and PMS I was a bit emotional
crying ect.
he did try to speack top me , when I calmed down me & him worked on some paper work he needed done . THen ow called , after call and coming in and finishing work he tells me he is going there !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't know cause this is getting out of controll , I posted just a few weeks ago about how her time was not the weekends , now I don't know .

Things seem to be incresting fast , he says it is because she is flipping out more , cause she is at witts end and is going crazy .

I don't know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> He was going anyway nothing I could do , his choice .

I started doing things around house , he went to leave and came near me to kiss good- bye , I said, no I would rather not I am to hurt and angry by his choieces .
He starts with the I can't leave unless I hug you and you me so I can go do what I got to do <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />
These things make no sense to me , I asked nicely he leave and not come near me , he begged and kept trying finnally I picked up juice in a glass and said, If you come any closer I will spill it on you ( he is very picky about cloths LOL)

Eventually he left , he tried calling me on radio wanting me to say it ok and I love him .
I ignored it and never answered .

Weird boy , very weird !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just feel better if I show that I am not pleased with him action , I don't condon them .

When he came in he was hurt that I locked the doors again . He said, you know I am coming home , I said, to him know I don't cause I don't know WHAT you are doing anymore your out of control and I have know idea what you will do next .

He said, thats not true I am with you , why are you fighting that . ?

I went to bed .

got to go school schedule back on , THANK GOD LOL

One more day home I don't know if I would have exploded LOL

YOu know what , I am an idiot , no really its ok to agree with me I am .

I am so depleted , I am so tired , I am so done . I want to do nothing , nothing at all .

I don't want to work anymore , I want to sit back and do nothing , no call , no yelling , no nothing , I don't want to cry , or even offer logic I don't even want to care what or how he screws up his life .

I do not want to go through the motions any more .

I am right he is wrong its black and white .
I am in pain he caused it I did not .
Its his life , let him take it and run .

You know what more power to them there in live great let them work it out .

Hell if I want sex I'll get , if I want to talk i will if I don't I won't . I have a house and my kids and his pay check , let him do what the he!! he wants .

When he leaves he leaves , when he is ready to relize we have nothing here together then he will up and go .

Maybe his way is the best after all , let the chios fall where they may . She leaves she leaves if she don't then well I guess he will have this double life till he wakes up one day and realizes that its really not a life .

I just don't want to here it anymore , I don't care if he is happy , if this is what makes him happy then so be it .

AND if it is what makes her happy great for her , then we just all live in this bubble .

I am going to pick my Daughter up from school and take a nap <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I am so finished , fighting for N/C or this M .

If there is a GOD he will have to fix this I can't I am to exshausted . Let someone else do the work .

3,

Sorry you had such a lousy weekend. Sorry your WS hurt you so much. Sounds like the weekend from H#LL!

3, you can't change WS, you can only change yourself and how you are dealing with the situation.

I don't see where you LB's so much. Hopefully you weren't yelling at WS when you said what you did to him about him wanting to call ow, calling ow, or not giving him a kiss good-bye when he left to go see ow.

Seems like WS is spending more time with ow than you or kids. His actions are speaking much louder than his words.

I mean what does WS expect. For you to send him off to ow with a kiss? Doesn't he even see how much he is hurting you?

Church and breakfast just doesn't make up for what WS is really doing. I like that you told him you were willing to hear the TRUTH, and not judge.

I think it was okay to cry. Sometimes when I had PMS I would recognize that that was what was part of my losing control, and when I understood that, it made it easier to control myself, because I knew the hormones were making me feel more emotional. Did you tell him you had PMS and a couple of nightmares?

You aren't supposed to lock the door, even when you don't know when WS is coming home? That he stays out ALL NIGHT, and has been doing that a lot lately? Don't you need to secure the house and keep you and kids safe when you don't know when or if he is coming home? Doesn't he have a KEY?

How you are doing this I don't know. I would have to do something. Maybe you should just follow some of Orchids advice and fogspeak back. I don't know what else to tell you.

Well, one more month for you. Try to keep stepping back from this whole thing emotionally. You have made your choice, just don't let it kill you 3.

Have you thought about those anti-D's? Could you go to Dr. and explain the situation, maybe get some Xanax to help you get thru the next month without going nuts?

This must be destroying your self-esteem. I want you to know you are worthy, a good gal, and are trying whatever you can to save your marriage.

I would not choose your path, but I do respect what you are trying to do. I mean, does WS show you with his actions, that you are first in his life, that he wants a future with you?

Also, you posted that WS said it would be over after Easter. Well??? It IS after Easter. Please respond to my ? about anti-D's, some Xanax, etc.

I am worried about you 3, and praying for you as always.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

3,

Am worried about your last post. Please go into Dr and try to get something to pull yourself out of this depression you are in.

I am worried about the choices you are making. Or rather, the choices that WS is forcing on you.

How much longer do you think you can take this without it doing harm to your family? If momma isn't okay, kids will feel it.

Your choice was to stay with this situation until June. I worry that you will really crack.

There will be no recovery until there is no contact with ow.

Have to go, have to go into work today, will check in later tonight.

Please 3, go to Dr and tell what is going on and get some help. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel.

Your last post shows me that your self-esteem is at an all time low. You are a good person. You need to make healthier choices, and getting help for your depression is a healthy choice.

Got to go. Praying for you.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

PS. There is a God, and He does answer prayers, please 3, Seek the Lord and He WILL answer you, but sometimes it isn't always what you want, or in your time. Pray 3, and go to Dr. NOW <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

HI , I am depressed but not . It is so hard to explain . I am more feed up then anthign else . I don't even know why I am as angree as I am cause I really don't care as much . I mean I am so stubboran for the trueth . OH yes your qustion , MED'S . Its not that I think any less of people who take them I mean I have a sister on them for anxity attachs . I just , well not for me .

I am very strang I know , and pig headed (don't laugh ) I know these things about me . LOL

I don't take a pain killer if my tooth hurts , I won't take them after I had surgery ,I don't barely take tylonol until ther head ache is making me vomit . LOL

JUST me , And the PMS I am more aware of it through the years so I know when it hits .

YES , H does know to and about nightmares . He started becomeing aware of PMS when he came home , He never use to , but now he stays calm and lets me rant and then hugs me and says I know your pms is making you worse right now try to calm down .

The nightmares yes he tried in mornign to talk and hold me , ask me what was wrong and why did these dreams get to me so much .? what could he do ?

WEll I really can't continue to answer that question , cause he should know the answer by now . I did tell him they are about him and her and more about her and finding out from her that every word I ever said, about them being together is true . He said, absolutly not at all .

He said, after easter meaning he thiught she had enough , I guess she has as much energy as me LOL

She is not done yet , I know THAT .

HE JUST SITS THERE AND KEEPS SAYING , I wish you understood that I know your hurt and I know I did it but I have to still do this my way and we will make it through this , you have nothing to worry about I love you and want to be here with you .

Oh please last night he said, that she told him again that she is not calling him anymore and does not want him to call her . that he is a lying pig and she is sick of him and the answers he gives her .

Heard this all before so either , he begs her or she is crazy and I can't rule that one out cause theres many things that point to that .

Any way you seem to be the only one around here .

I don't know how you have not stoped posting to me yet .
I will not take it personal , its ok I understand the frustration .

It does seem to be stupid and hopeless at least the path that I have choose to do it in . And I must say I am not changing corse . EXCEPT amybe now to just surrender and like I said, give up on this hole thing . M of convenance , I guess thats what it will be called for now .

Everyone changes and maybe thats it , he just might not find me to be THE ONE ANYMORE , why he stays I don't know . Got to go you really do not need to check in , I apprecate it but I understand if you don't .

THANKS

3....
My heart just aches for you....I don't post often cuz I just don't think I can offer you much.

I want so badly for you to take action. But I understand and respect your timeframe and reasons for not doing anything yet.

I just really really hope you're serious about June 1st. And I hope you're prepared for another month of his absolutely ROTTEN behavior.

Frankly, I don't think your Lovebank can take another month of this. I think you're going to reach June 1st and there won't be anything left worth saving.

How can he possibly restore your love after destroying you over and over and over again.

I also don't think you've gotten one ounce of truth from him. Its obvious that they are still very very involved - physically and emotionally.

And for me personally -- HIS way wouldn't work for me. I would require that he tell her the entire truth out of respect to me. But thats just me.

HUGS

Hey , Lexxxy, I agree with you my love bank is depleted , that is what I stated in the above post today .

I am realizing with unfortunately great anger that that probbly will be nothing to save , and maybe that is best , maybe that is what I did to this M . Played by his rules (very few of my own) and that crippled this M beyond repair .

DO I think he could " win me back" well yes DO I think he will NO not at all .

He is a child and a selfish one at that . He will not put in the work needed for recovery .
CAN he yes If he himself was in love with me .

THAT has been my point to him , he lost that loving feeling a long time ago . I belive he came home cause he was scared of a new type of life . (and still is )

D, how people presive him , child support , alomomy, visatation , , new wife with a kid , living in an apt . not a house . All the above he went in to over load .

This sittuation once again is my fault , yes it is all of it . I am not pittying me or anything like that , this is that facts I have to face .

He came back , and was more remorseful then I ever expected from him , I let them see one another and FOG came back .

That N/C at that time was very important I wish I would have been on MB then instead of 9mon later .

Don't get me wrong I can take responsiablity for my actions it is just such a shame he can not .

Oh well JUNE will be here soon enough and she will be told all as he will and then D is just around the corner .

Got to go He is finnally home from stopping by the $luts house , begging for her Pussey probbly .

3,

About your pigheadedness.

I won't laugh. It is not funny. And it has hurt you. You can't make someone do what you want. You can't make WS tell you the truth. I think you might know it already. Maybe you don't. I think WS is so much in the fog that HE doesn't even know the truth.

You told WS you made a mistake when he returned. You didn't have the skills you need to cope with the fallout of the A. You have been trying to educate yourself at MB and be a better person. YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON. I know you have done your best in spite of horrendous circumstances.

I can't fathom what it must be like not to be able to talk to anyone about what is going on, not being able to be validated.

I had friends that stood up for me and my marriage, I got a GREAT counselor, (thank you Lord), got a couple of meds (I could not eatsleepfunction), I set some limits, finally, and I was on my FACE on the floor in front of God a lot. And I mean a lot.

It must be a hard row to hoe if this is the only outlet you have for validation, advice, comfort, etc. How do you do it?

MHO is plan B to save what is left in your love bank. Sounds like it's a gettin' low.

Is there anything you can do that will be good for you? Think about it? Even just a hot bath and a few deep breaths.

Prayed for you all day at work. Gave you and your situation into His hands. The BEST hands.

Love in Christ,
Miss M

<small>[ April 28, 2003, 10:17 PM: Message edited by: Miss M ]</small>

THANKS M , I will post tomorrow , thanks for prays today something may ahve been heard . talk later .

NOT alot but a small small small sign ,

HEY all (MISS M) LOL - WELL got to start off telling you you work so much you make me tired LOL .

Hope you are well .

OK not much , maybe I don't know .
H said, something to me before bed the other night (sun. after he came home ) I did not put much into it cause well lately you can see why .

He said, ow is really pushing my buttons , I said, well obviously not hard enough , no really I am not feeling so guily any more she is got to get a grip on herself its starting to really bug me .

I went to bed .

Anyway reason why I am bringing it up is ,cause last night like I posted he called and told me he was stopping there for alittle while on way home .

I was pissed off , sun. he tells me she said, all that about not calling any more then she calls .

Any way when he told me , I did not yell but said, this is the most unbelivable situation I have ever herad of , and the man I once knew and loved was alot more stronger then to let someone control his actions .

He said, come on JUNE1 is what you said, don't start now just trust me .
I said, you know what your going anyway , and there is nothing I can do about that , Its your choice to let her continue to humilate you and show all her friends that when she calls you run , you will see her one day for who she is .

I hung up .

He left work at 4;55pm he walked in at 5;25pm .
It takes 5min to get to her from job , and it is about 20 to 25 min drive home .

HE could not have seen her or stayed .

WELL he didn't , HE came in and said, want to run to park with kids for half hour or so before dinner ? and you look nice , and tried to have sf in kitchen before leaving <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

While walking there I was dieing to know what happened , HE finnally said, that B!TCH was standing there with her freinds when I was driving by , she started yell and making hand jestures at me in front of everyone . I slowed down gave her the fingure and kept driving .

SCREW her , I was stopping there to see what she wanted and she was mouthing off and motioning that I was late and park now type of thing .

I didn't say a word , I changed the subject and talked about work . ( he is having hard time at job )

Came home cooked dinner and I showered kids and he went on PC while I did my stuff , HE accually asked if I minded if he went on PC ?
I said, I guess not . HE said, I figure while You are doing other stuff I would do this then we can sit together when we are both done .

After all was done , kids up to bed , he sat with me and put on a movie .

went to bed and cuddled all morning before work , he kept asking me to hold HIM .

All night when kids were acting up not going to sleep , he told me you sit I 'll get up and take care of them .

What in GODS NAME IS GOING ON ? ??????????????

Ok I am not stupid enough to get hopes up for anything , cuase he could be doing this just to hit me up with something he is going to do with her and wants me to not flip out .

OR the other thing , once in a blue moon fog lifts for a second , or starting to get scared of JUNE 1 .

OR I should not be even thinking of the who? what? whys? just go with the flow .

Any way I told you it was small but is it anything , guess can't tell see what the rest of the week brings .

I am sure they will see one another this week , I don' t got blinders on . BUT curiuos to see if he starts leaving earlier and distensing himself from her at all .

3,

Well, you did pretty good yesterday. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You didn't ask about what happened with ow. You didn't respond to what WS said about ow. You changed the subject.

What you did say to him, I liked. About the man you knew didn't let people run his life etc.
Reminds me of what Orchid posted about saying to WS "If you see my H please tell him I love him and miss him." She said that to her husband.

Like I said, keep to your list. Looks like you did well. Keep up no commenting or LBing when WS talks about ow. Just let her keep flipping out, while you do the opposite.

Have the next 2 days off! Yeah!!

Funny your WS brought up June 1. Don't you mention it or threaten WS with that date. You had your say about what you were going to do. Do your best to plan A for this next month.

I hope you make it. Have been praying for you. Yesterday I prayed and prayed for something to break in your situation, for God to move in your situation, to give you refuge and comfort.

If I realized anything in my situation, it was that even though people will betray you and be unfaithful, God will never do that. He is always faithful and will never leave you. He will teach you the path to follow, and it is always the right path. God is always there for you, you just have to reach out.

I was really upset about your post. More with your WS and it took a lot not to vent about him. And yes, his behavior and how he has been treating you is not good.

Yeah, maybe the fog lifted for a moment. Good you didn't comment on a lot of what WS said. You keep stepping back from it, be the good wife, and see how it all shakes down. Don't bring up June 1st again.

You've made your plan, stick to it.

Praying for your recovery, for ow to be out of picture. See? You are doing the opposite of ow, you cannot make your WS do anything. It has to be his decision. So far, so good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Love in Christ,
Miss M