3,

OK. I'm praying for you.

Will check in after work tonite.

{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Well, I just can't do it--can't keep my mouth shut.

I've been checking in EVERY DAY, even though I was trying to AT LEAST take a break from the board (break's over).

Now I'm worried. Please post as soon as you can and let us know what's going on. And of course, many prayers for you. ((((((((3)))))))

And don't forget, no matter what happens, YOU WILL BE OK!

Can't post long or give much detail , things vrey much are spinng out of control .

I am telling you thi$ B!tch has him lock stock and barrel .

I am having a rehashing of 2 years ago right in my face , the same anger he snapped , he is loosing it and I unforfunatly am the target of the ANGER of his life , his mistakes .

SAME as when this $hit started , the first time .

I am the B!TCH the CU&* , the one he HATES , the one he says "he can't fake it with anymore "

I am driving him away , I have no right to be hurt , This is not about me , I am a baby .

I cry and he stands there and mocks me , calling me names . THIS is what came out as soon as there CONTACT started again after 3 days .

I can't even begin to say the rest, those are just some of the things that were said, to me .

I can't talk long and yes go ahead and get the 2x4 out , but got to tell ya I really am not in the mood .

I am lumped up enough , its taking every thing out of me right now to keep from jumping in FRONT OF THE BUS .

GOT to go things cooking up I will post as soon as I got time to right a novel of what is going down .

LB at a high for I feel that I am defending myself .

AND through all this please don't ask about PLAN B the f*c$er won't leave although he is saying yes he ain't moving fast enough for me .

AND this B!TCH well ALL you better start praying for her cause I give up ALL my prays for her well lets just say GOD won't anwser DEATH wishs .

YES there has been some ringing going on little games and personally her A$$ is mine soon .

GOT to GO he is with her and probbly will be for the next 3or 4 days , I even have company for that time , and he is lieing to everyone about where he is running and ducking people and blaming me cayse his life is like this .

NOT HIMSELF or OW for doing this , for threating him , going to his job or invating his privacey .

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

GOT to go sorry for the half a$$ post I will put pieces together when I can .

OH LUVBIRD missed YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PRAY PEOPLE PRAY I am coming to the end an dI do not know if I will be OK , I mean I really don't

oops

<small>[ May 08, 2003, 11:11 PM: Message edited by: Miss M ]</small>

3,

Don't let this guy beat you down. It is total FOGSPEAK.

How many other posts have you read on this board where the WS totally mistreated, was angry and very cruel to BS. He is so typical and really making me mad. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

You don't need to defend yourself to this alien.

I am so angry that he is treating you this way. It is not your fault that WS life is a mess. He has committed adultery and has put it in your face day after day after day for months. You did not ask for this. These are all WS choices. You have done everything you can to be a better wife in spite of all his crap.

Don't let him destroy you. You are worthy. He is not worthy of you.

Try to just be quiet and not respond to any of his crap. If he wants out, then pack his bags and he and ow can have their wonderful life. LOL. You know that they have about a 5 percent chance of making it.

DO NOT RESPOND TO HIS ABUSE. IF HE COMES HOME AND ABUSES YOU, LEAVE FOR AWHILE. DO NOT ANSWER HIS PHONE CALLS.

You do not deserve to be called even the few names WS has called you that you have posted. You are a good person.

Stop LBing right now. This is what your WS wants so he can feel better about being with ow. He wants you to be the bad guy. Don't go there 3. You aren't the bad guy. No more ammunition for WS to shoot you down with.

Just tell him you are sorry he feels that way when he abuses you verbally. No more, no less.

Get strong 3, you don't deserve this and don't let WS convince you that you do deserve it. I know you have been feeling that way as I have been reading your posts very carefully.

Don't lie for him. Just answer whoever's questions that they need to talk to your WS if they want to know what is going on.

When you start thinking that you are the bad guy, say to yourself "Stop the bad, I am worthy, I am worthy, I am worthy.

YOU ARE WORTHY 3, don't forget that. God knows your heart. You are good and you don't deserve this, however, you are going thru it.

Praying for you 3, please, please try to calm down and remove yourself emotionally from the whole mess. I know it is hard.

I'm so sorry you are going through this 3 <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
((((((((hugs!))))))

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Yep, everything Miss M said. He's like a kid throwing a temper tantrum. Best way to deal with it is NOT to give him the attention (anger, LB's, etc.) that he is so trying to get you to give now. Let him be the bad guy all by himself. Be calm. For now.

That being said, he is such a f'ing D!¢K!!! Girl, if I could, I'd come put MY foot in his A$$ for ya!!! HE's the one that needs a 2x4!! GRRRRRRRRR... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

OK, just had to get that out. Hope you can get in here soon and let us know everything that's going on--how things went from what they were (NC) to where they are now (total chaos).

As always, love and hugs and prayers. Keep being strong.

Hi 3,

It has been a while since I have posted to you. I am sorry for your current turn of events. Sounds like you are dealing with a real winner of an OW and a loser of a WS.

But he is on a spiral streak and it is safer for you to stay out of the way. I have been reading your thread off and on and see you are having support. Please continue to vent here before you do anything rash.

Here's a thread I'd like you to read when you get a chance, it is about a BS posting on the d/d site.... a friend I met here on MB.

How a BS is surviving

It may help you put things back into perspective. That is one of the great things about posting here. It may also help you decide how much of this roller coaster you want to ride on.

hugz,
L.

<small>[ May 08, 2003, 11:58 PM: Message edited by: Orchid ]</small>

I agree with Miss M, ths is Fogspeak and he is trying to blame everyone but himself because he feels so guilty.

Time to do things for yourself. Start looking for support. Find your closest friends and confide in them. Confide in your family. You need people close to you to help you. Don't let this be a secret any longer to protect him (but neither wield it as a sword). You need people you can talk with. Asking you to keep this secret is not fair (but neither is his A). He has asked you to do things and put up with stuff for selfish reasons, to protect himself, to allow himself to continue living in two worlds. And see what happens to the A when it begins to have daylight shined upon it.

Protect yourself against the abuse, without abusing back. You deserve better. Don't take the phone calls, or visits. Hang up, walk away, don't listen.

When is he leaving? Can you pack up some things while he's gone? Not vindictively, but maybe rent a storage shed, put some things in storage.

He is living in a dreamworld, a fantasy, he is selfish and looking out for himself. He will wake up someday, but he may have to reach a low point before he does.

When he leaves initiate no contact with him. If business needs to be taken care of ask a mutual friend to be the go between. He will begin blaming the OW. And then when she's had enough he will have only himself to blame. At that point he will either begin to really look at himself, or find someone else to blame (and don't take him back until he can soundly put blame where it belongs, on himself, or he will blame you again). This may be a long process. You may get divorced in this time. But there is always chance for reconciliation.............

^

Hugs {{{{{3}}}}}

I'm so sorry you're having such a bad time. I don't post much but I read a lot and know what you've been going through.

Just throwing some extra support for you today. Hang on girl and you WILL be alright because you are who you are!

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />
Thanks all for stopping in , Thaks forn Hugs and ORCHID I am reading thanks for the POST ON PEACH!

MISS M thank you for reaching out on my BEHALF .

All thank you so much I can't bring myself to post all that is happening right now .

I don't have the time or the state of mind yet to rehash all .

YES I am trying really trying to stay growned , I know some of this ids FOG TALK and AM ALIEIN .

BUT it ciuts like a sword . Having to keep some control in front of people is horriable , I run away out of my own home just to cry and go crazy .

I am running out of excuses and places to run to .

HE snapps out one minute and then breaks down the next and is cold then wants me and needs me then tells me he can't stand .calls like an animal then calls and is calm .

I mean from 5mins to 5mins after .

I am avoiding last night and today like crazy .

I have been able to have ONE convo with him late yesterday then I backed down and avoided .

He responded then went into dr. jeckal & MR. HYDE thing .

GOT to go he is seeing OW AGAIN tonight , I will soon post details .

SHE is loosing it in a big way , I know I shouldn't but he is attacing me cause she is attacing him .

BE back later , things are going on again .

WELL , guys I can say this has finnally made me numb and I am not sure if I can even move or speak .

I know I remeber this feeling along time ago (after the real d-day )

SEE I never had a D-day I was always tracking him like a dog and the more I turned up the more he denied . It was crazy back then , AND I never wanted to feel those feelings again .

MOST everyone around me feels I suffered a nerves break down and with that of corse a long depression .

WELL I choose to block the old pian out , feeling I did over come and came out of it .

NOW since late TUES. night I realized I masked the pain, I pretended It was gone and held it down , WELL it has come back , and I lost it again , THATS what started most of it .

THE things he says to me sound so stupid and when he shut down it was somethign that TRIGGERED inside of me , of what he did over 2years ago , telling me that I am making my pain up .

THAT I am the problem and this really is not happening the way I am taking it .

HE has nothing to do with my pain or OW I am my own enemy and always have been .

HE told me I am over reacting to a situation that has nothing to do with me..??? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

WELL after him saying this to my face I lost it something inside me SNAPPED , I felt like I was in a time warp when I use to sit home and he would walk in and say he was at the office and I would say I called and he use to say you dailed wrong I was sitting right there ,

I dailed wrong for 5 hours eveytime everyday .?? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

So thats what blew me away and I went crazy , saying everything inside of me .

I told him the most hurt ful things , I did tell him I thought he was a coward , selfish child who has never grown up , how he couldn't stand on his own to feet , and how a 8 year old could make more moral sense of this then him .

I said, thing s like that he could only think with one head at a time and all that head can't see what a manipulating $lut OW is .

OF corse I said, plenty more and I went off about her and what I was going to do to her , her BIG F'IN mouth about getting him fired well I would stop by and visit her SINGLE mother A$$ down at unemployment after I get her fired .
AND she better look for a shelter cause her APARTMENT was not going to be there any more after I report her LANLORD !!!

I GUESS you could say I saw RED RED RED RED BLOOD!

I LB"ED in case anyone needs me to be forward .

THEN I got it back with BOTH barrels , AS if he did not think he said, enough to hurt me ,
IT went on and on , then he says I don't want to talk to you or anyone I want to be left alone , then went with the name calling I hate you always have and I have been trying to fake it with you but it is making me sick now and I can't do it any more .

SO I opened the door and said, so run away , your great at that , BIG FAT wife such a B!TCH go leave cry to the $lut go ahead use her shoulder and have a PITY party for yourself and while your there come on her face for me cuase thats what she is anyway SCUM !!!!!

WELL he says it has nothing to do with her , I don't want to be bothered with anyone ....I am not going to her thats what you don't understand .I want to talk to NO ONE right now .

AND JUST THEN , GUESS WHAT NO SOONER did he say that the phone rings GUESS WHO ?

OW so he goes to run and answer and I start thought you can't be bothered ,WELL now look who you going to talk to .

HE went to answer the PHONE I said, go ahead but I will be yelling in the back round .

WELL he went nuts , I said, I thought you aren't doing this to me I am making it up so , I guess I should snao into reality and keep talking cause this really is not happening right ??

WELL there was alot mor yelling then he had to leave to finnally answer her call , whitch she flipped out cause he did not answer for awhile cause I was screaming and he couldn't cause I would have blown it for him .

Theres is alot more , thats just what set it into motion , she called hanging up here so I did the same then she would call him saying it was me he would say I don't know I am not with her .

LUVBIRD to answer your question , this all went from N/C till TUES 5pm when she flipped cause he didn't call all weekend and he said , I told you enough is enough and she said, no I thought you knew I was not done bothering you , and now that your trying to get BALLS with me I think you have something to hide even mmore .

SHE proceeded to call his job and try to get his goat going showing him she would carry out her threats .

I would have stayed quit and let her do the LB , but he was out of control and lied to me about knowing he was seeing her tues. night after work and got court , then took a shut the F up attitude with me .

SO then It started . THINGS got worse WEND . I will post when I can . THERES alot more and he is ther again tonight !!!!!!!!!

ALTHOUGH I am numb , I will let you know I slowed down the LB (cause I am NUMB ) and I am stepping back (got it MISSM)

I am doing this cause I need to gain control to process whats going on in front of me .
I have to get control cause my decisions made with ANGER are not good . Also I took a good hard DRINK !!!!!!!!! that always use to HELP !

THIS is a really BIG MESS , I know she is pushing hard so I need to stop and not react . thanks for the posts to me .

YESTERDAY and TODAY they have helped me to gain some prospective again , BY all of you being here it helped snap me back in to reality and remind me I am not crazy he is , I am not doing this he is .

I really need this MB is my support right now and the only leavel headed advice and support I have .

EVEN if I did not post eveything , I am reading and listening and I need that to keep me grownded.

LUVBIRD thank you for jumping back in .

YOU LB on my WS so well <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

MISS M please you are in control of your anger I told you that I hate thinking you could loose it LOL .

ORCHID-THANKS for the link and MISS M gave me one or 2 of your FOG BACK TALK , I have used it .TU.

TO4T & SHMI...THANKS for your support and hugs & prays .

WILL post when I can , AND so I don't forget ..

ALL HAVE A HAPPY MOTHERS DAY , YOU women here are great , strong and wonderful women and your children are very lucky to have such great ROLL model in their lives !!!


PRAY .

Hi 3,

Ok, so you pretty much decided to share you pain. That's quite ok. Big LB? Sounds like he had it coming and really there is only so much a human can take.

Should you have not done it? Well maybe but don't be too harsh on yourself. Like you said, something snapped and you needed to let it out. Ok now proactively, let's learn to help you so that you don't 'snap' again. Ok?

Now before we all share our ideas on that, how do you think it could be handled the next time? Ooooh, you don't think there will be a next time? There will be and maybe sooner than you think.

take care,
L.

3,

Just want you to know I have read your posts. I have to work and will post at length when I think about all that you said.

3, I don't always have control of my anger. As a matter of fact, I was you a few years ago. Different circumstances, but same reactions. The only difference is that my H affair broke me, made me see who I was and what I was doing, and I changed. My marriage survived. Will tell you more later.

What you posted really opened my eyes to what is going on with you, will talk about it later. If you read, read Psalm 37 again, which you know I posted earlier on in your thread.

I still need to digest everything you said to try and give you better advice. But what you said, did, etc. gave me such a feeling of deja vu. I have been exactly in your spot.

Will get back to you in next day or two. Am praying for you.

Please try to step back from your anger of all that is happening right now and continue on with a Plan A. Read read read. Step back, observe and stop reacting. I am telling you it is the only way you will survive.

By the way, I lost control this week and LB'd in a big way, but fortunately it didn't last too long and my H has forgiven me. HE has come a long way too, because in the past, he would hold that against me for a long time, but he saw my remorse and forgave me. I reacted. WRONG. I am not perfect, but I have changed a lot, I just slipped.

Life and death are in our tongues!

Happy Mother's Day 3!

Love in Christ,
Miss M

<small>[ May 10, 2003, 11:07 AM: Message edited by: Miss M ]</small>

rEALLY QUIK CHECK IN , HE HAS SEEN HER EVERY NIGHT SINCE TUES . 4 DAYS SRTAIGHT AND THE NIGHT HERE IS JUST BEGING HE WILL SEE HER mothers day , HE JUST TOLD ME THAT .

NO real suprise , but the suprise is I can't have that .

I told him that if he is seeing her to not be here , HE said, he is feed up and what ever .

He asked if he can stay just to sleep at night until he makes arangments to get something .

I laughed , just go live with her , you practicly do already .

HE said, no I am not going to be with her .

WHO is he kidding , what an a$$ .

I went to walk away , he says so do I see her tonight and come home tomorow in late morning .?

Or see her tomorrow night . ?

OK this MAN is an A$$ HOLE theres no hope , I thought he just said, we agreed its over ?

NOW he wants to cuddle on the coach and see me tomorrw in morning then her in the night .

AM I crazy , why can't he hear me?

3,

Just wishing you a Happy Mother's Day.

I'm sure you are going through a rough time today as you have been on all holidays.

How long has this been going on? 7 months now?
Anyway, I hope you manage a good day with kids and family.

Am still mulling over the reply to you.

Thinking about you and praying for you, let us know what's going on.

Remember to step back as much as you can. Seems like your WS is making it very difficult for you with his behavior.

BTW- where have your kids been while all this drama has gone on with WS. Are they ok?

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Hi guys , I got some free time but still not going to post every ugly detail .

IN short OW is going nuts, so am I .

I want to say he has been with her tues,3hours.
WEND, 3hours.
NOW thurs. is interesting , HE had to take a sick day we had to take care of refinance on our home .
HIS mom came in a day early (neither one of us knew)
SO thurs, morning his phone starts ringing 8am , (oh but wait I thought she never calls in the morning and supposedly she doesn't know about the house refinance.)

WELL he dresses real quik in front of his mom and goes to HOME DEPOT(ok lie one in front of mom)

He was on phone with her for 2 hours . THEN home and we need to leave at 12pm .

WELL we do and in car is the only time that in the 3 days we talk cival.

I expressed my concern for him and what he is doing to himself and then to us .

I told him that I was sorry for all of anger and hateful things I said, I real so care for him very much and never wanted anything more then for him to be happy , but I do not think his happiness should come at the exspense of ME .

I am only human and IT was not fair for him to expect this not to have an effect on me .

I said, much to that type of stuff .

I also told him that in remaining calm , I can be a freind and advise him on OW .

I feel he is not being fair to her , and that I did not like being lied to and I am sure she does not either .

I would give the same advice to any one of our MALE or FEMALE friends if they explained this same situation .
I asked him if he belived that , he said, yes I belive you would .

I talked about OW some more in the respect that she is getting something out of this so it will not be easy for her to move forword if he stays around her all the time .

WELL he seemed calm and to be thinking .

WE spent the afternoon alone then time to go home , well he then tells me that he has to call her now before we gwt home caause he don't want her to call while his mom is around .

He called her and the fighting started (them)

THEN he tells me he is seeimg her , I said, well good luck looking in your moms eyes and lieing , he wanted mt help in making something up and to intersept her from questioning him .

I said, NO !!

HE pretended to get a page from work in front of his mom then said, he was going to work alittle while be home soon .

HE went I was home and my MOM- in -LAW asked if I wanted to go out she would watch the kids . I went to gym then for a walk and drove around .

I got home about 45min before him .

HIS mom mentioned that I went out , HE came upstairs and asked where , I said, around nothing much , gym and coffee .

HE was upset with this , saying what if something happened to kids ? my mom might have called me .....I said, so thats your problem , why should I be there all the time for OUR kids your there FARTHER , why should you have all this freedom . ?

I went to bed .

FRI . well went to OW after work , told mom he was going to dinner with guys from work .

SHE looked a bit taken back , but she didn't say a word . THEN she waited up for him , he came in at 1am , she said, wow late dinner , I hope for your sake your not doing anything stupid again , cause I don't think your wife will forgive you twice >

HE walked away from her and just said, no I love her and I am not ever going down that road again .

I pretened to be sleeping but heard it from upstairs .

NEXT morning mom, me , & kids went to communion party and H went to take a test for a new job .(HE has been applying to different jobs )

MOM left for home after party , I left with kids on way home he called to say OW called and she wants to see him .

I said , whatever , He started yelling not tonight TOMORROW MOTHERS DAY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WEll I said, I will be home later and we can talk not now I am driving .

ANYway then the rest is what I said, before in last post about he would leave then , turned around and says thing like no its ok I will see her at night and we will be together tonight and MOTHERS DAY until later in the day.

I can't even explain how stupid this feels and is .
I told him I much prefer he leave and not be with me at all , for I really don't see much of any M to preserve .

WEll I basicly didn't speak to him all night and he tryed to talk I was not in the mood and told him I really don't want to be strocked to think WE are ok then you up and see another women and you feel ok cause things where ok with us when they are not .

I want to show you what he gave me this morning to start mothers day. THIS is long I am posting another .

HE did not BUY me a card he made one .

I always use to tell him I like things from the heart not things that cost money .

WELL this is what he wrote :

TO MY WIFE MY ONE AND ONLY ON MOTHERS DAY:

DEAR PAM ,

THE WOMEN I LOVE
WHO ALWAYS COVERS UP HER NEEDS FOR OTHERS
WHO ALWAYS SACRIFICES HER WANTS
WHO IS ALWAYS GIVING FOR HER FAMILY

WHO IS WARM, CARING, LOVING,UNSELFISH, AND IS ALWAYS TAKEN FOR GRANTED .

I SAY THIS I WILL WORK A LIFETIME TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH YOU ARE LOVED AND RESPECTED AND I WILL TAKE A PAGE A DAY FOREVER OUT OF YOUR DAILY JOB AND GIVE IT BACK TO YOU .

ALL MY LOVE IS FOR YOU, YOUR H .

MADE me coffee and brought it to bed with card .

YES I cryed like a baby , IT is always so rare that he writes me anything only a hand ful of times in our relationship and all have been when , he knew he was very wrong and very scared that I had given up and had it ,(LAST MINUTE TYPE)

He wanted sex AND I just couldn't cause before we started I said, does this mean your not going to see OW tonight ?

HE said, no I told her I would be there already and she will flip out if I don't come . She does not know I am home and thats why she wants to see me on MOTHERS DAY to prove again I am not with you like all holidays .

I walked out , I told him then I think its best if he left this morning I don't want to spend any of this time with him .

I also have some other things about mothers day .

MY MOM died on MOTHERS DAY so this day is hard enough for me .

3 years now , and its not the DATE , but the day . 3 years ago on MOTHERS DAY ..
So this day is more rembered then the actual date itself . 5/14/00

ANY way he is there he stayed until 4pm. Then he left .

I am confused and angree and then I don't want to be bothered I am trying to step away from all of this .

I will post more about kids , THEY are ok belive it or not . Some of this done when they are sleeping and or out side playing , I mean they are not stupid and I talk to them about it if they ask or are looking upset .

Be back .

Now that phone stopped rining and kids asleep i might be able to put some thoughts into place , no company and H not here .

Ok so I am posting to much , I have to I need to think out loud you know what I mean .

Ok I got to put things in order , I have been reading so many different things here , I don't know if its good , bad, confusing , or over welming .

I am looking for answers , but at the same time know that only I can find them in me .

READING a small post about how long PLAN A AND PLAN B .

I can't seem to get past the fact that I am not and have not done a good solid PLAN A and at the same time I have wasted time getting fustrated and now my time for PLAN B is coming , No don't worry JUNE 1 is the dead line weather I am happy with it or not .

BUT I am still trying to compose a list of things that I Need to look at , on what he is doing , giving . LET me explain .

I spend so much time being angree and LB'ing that I don't know if I over look any of his work .
(yes no recovery till N/C ) I understand that .

BUT have I sabatoged it , ??

OK :LIST Things he does :

PayS MORE ATTENTION TO KIDS (then he did before one of the things I use to complain about )
Cleans more (never did)
DOES laundry
Calls from work
Asks if I need anything picked up
DOES tell me he loves me every day
Cuddles (when home)LOL
Talks of the we&us as in future always
TELLS me when OW calls & most of what I know what they say .
Gave me acess to all e-mail accounts , beeper, cell phone ect.
(never had that before)
WE go out more toghether then we did ( ok that was part my fault something I changed that he said,I needed to change was a problem PRE-A)
DOES not play good parent , bad parent thing any more

All these things were alot of pre-A things .

NOW the BAD :

Still CONTACT WITH OW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Still will allow temper to flare up witch is abusive .
Still blames me for anything wrong in life (the reason we fight cause I start he says )

Ok thats all .

Now do I start it up yes , If he is in a mood I go right to it , I nor at it and this gets him going . I just hate someone sitting there and saying I am in a bad mood don't bother me . It drives me crazy and I get out of control .

I don't give him much time to unwind I want answers NOW !
AnD sometimes when I back off HE will never say , he will go to bed and by then I will be fumming mad , like well are you ever gonna say whats the mood about ?
HE feels sometimes you just are in a bad mood and it never needs to be talked about .

I can take the heat , speak your mind does antone think theres any trueth to him wanting ONLY ME !??

Ok I am opening my self up here to be fired at , BUT I am curious , WITH out PLAN B does anyone in your VHO think that there is any light at the end of this tunnel ???

NO need to think , it will anger me or sway me to do what you say I just need to know to help my thought process .

I know this is advice an not anyone persons decision except mine .

I feel I have stayed very negitive about eveything and now I want to be sure I am not missing all the positive and PUSHING him into her arms .

BECAUSE sometimes , well most of the time I feel like I know I am doing that. I mean I even say it to him .

"I'll fight with you so you can feel better about being with her"

THINGS to that nature , so is that waht I have done ? DID this make his choice take longer cause I am giving him dought about being with me ?

ALL along I am pissed its taking this long and I am the one not sticking to the PLAN A .

OK I am crazy ! ALRIGHT just thinking out loud , I got to tell ya , that stupid card really got to me and I didn't want to show him , I mean I wanted to cave and make love to him so bad and still do , I just felt like it would make him feel ok about him seeing her tonight .

AND I was being suckered .
BUT when do I let go of looking at mative with every move he makes .

HE called on the way to OW 's and said, can't you see I am reaching out to you I need you to belive in me .
I need you by my side , we are in love & will make it .

WEll back to reading awile !

(((((((3))))))

I'm so sorry that this is such a sad day. All the more reason your H should be there, but it is Sunday and all, so I won't call him a d!¢k (oh wait, I just did didn't I? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ).

I wouldn't even try to guess at what is the truth from him. I think the best things for you to do are to first and foremost, look after yourself and your kids, and pay more attention to your H's actions than his words (although you might not oughtta pay a whole lot of attention to the actions either). OW seems to be doing a good job LBing--maybe you should try to just stand back and observe (although I think if I were you I would have totally let loose today, and his stuff would be in the yard). Regardless of how things go, it's only 3 weeks `til June 1st. Hang in there, and even tho I know it hasn't been a very good day, Happy Mother's Day.